A Not So Sexual Man
by Aseru
Summary: "And with that glare and those tight jeans and that tighter black shirt - and oh god, that hair. Yeah, he was defiantly turned on."- From Chapter 2. Another, not so avaerage Yullen. With a few other pairings that will have an impact. How 'bout it?
1. One Family

_Hi._  
><em>Not much to say up here.<em>  
><em>See ya at the bottom, mayhap?<em>

* * *

><p><em>"May your feet serve you well<em>  
><em>And the rest be sent to Hell<em>  
><em>Where they always have belonged..."<em>  
>"Let's Kill Tonight" -Panic! At The Disco<p>

**XXX**

_**A-(Not So)-Sexual Man  
><strong>__Chapter the First:  
><em>One Family

* * *

><p>To his friends and family, Yuu Kanda was quiet, grumpy and a bit too proud. Which, by the end of high school, often times led to him being the unwilling butt of a few jokes concerning his (virginal) sexuality. They were all convinced he was <em>a-sexual<em>. Yuu Kanda, in his reported nineteen years of life before leaving for college, never had one relationship, he was a virgin, and to be frank, _indisputably _socially awkward.

So when winter break of his sophomore year of college rolled around, and Kanda finally called his only condonable brother of the four back about coming home for Christmas, Alma was nearly rioted when he was given the task of telling the rest of his family that, yes, the youngest brother was coming home, and no, he would not be coming alone.

"Girlfriend," was Lavi's immediate question, because while he wasn't family he did practically live with them (when not two doors down, at his home). Alma's eyes looked over the five other people in the room and tried to smile, looking at Lavi - the non-brother/pest, Daisya - the second oldest though shortest, Marie - the actual oldest, Lenalee - Alma's girlfriend and the family's long time friend, and Froi - the father figure.

"Uh," the young man was left to answer hesitantly, "He didn't- well, more _wouldn't_ say. But _their_ name is Allen." And with that the room was quiet as they all just looked him blankly.

"He's with a guy," was Lenalee's sudden, shocked question, "Did anybody know this?" She was answered with silence.

By Thursday, the day before Yuu Kanda would be getting back into town, it seemed everyone who had known Yuu Kanda, knew that he was coming home- and sadly, that he would not be coming home alone. But somehow the name Kanda had given was left out, having not left the living room with agreement from all there in. And by that night, Alma, fearing for his brother and brother's friend's safety and really not wanting him to kill anyone, ended up calling him.

But what he didn't expect was his phone not be answered and to listen to the voicemail of not his brother's but another male voice- he was pretty sure anyway- giving a massage to the caller to leave a message and 'baKanda' would get back to them. He left no message as he laughed at that nickname.

But it was early Tuesday afternoon, when a shiny black CRX with dark tinted windows pulled into the driveway, and the engine shut off. Alma sighed as he joined Daisy, Lavi, and his girlfriend at the window in his room on the second floor of the large old three story house to stare at the idle car.

They all watched as the car simply sat there for a bit, no movement visible through the dark tinted windows. Then suddenly the passenger door opened quickly, while the driver side opened slower.

They all watched as their brother/friend got out of the passenger side door, dressed in dark pants, clunky boots - that he always managed to walk quietly in, and a thin looking back shirt in the very mild winter air- his normal. His long dark hair, was still long and dark pulled up in a tight pony tail at the crown of his head- as usual. He then ducked back into the car and reemerged with a mid-sized bag in his hand, before ducking back in again, to pull out two more.

But then they all turned their attention to the other side of the car as the other person stands and turns around to face into the car and toward the house. Alma's let his mouth open a bit in awe, as Lavi whistled lowly in obvious appreciation.

The other male didn't look built, but he had definite muscle structure that he could see against the simple gray long sleeved shirt. His face had a boyish kind of charm that was totally thrown off with the stunning red tattoo around- or more accurately _through_ his left eye. His complexion seemed only minutely tanned. But then, Alma's eyes seemed to recognize that the male's hair was snow white, heaped on his head in a messy array that was somehow stylish.

And right then he was leaning over the top of the car, a thin cell phone pressed to his right ear by an oddly gloved hand as he listened and asked his brother questions where he stood on the other side of the car. Alma could see the tension in his brother's shoulders as he leaned over the other side seemingly waiting for him - he was obviously aggravated. With the situation or the phone call, Alma didn't know.

"Come on guys," he tells the other three motioning away from the window. "Let's go wait downstairs and let dad know they're here." Without word the three moved quickly from the window and out the room. He listened to their hurried footsteps run down the back stairs before he sighed and moved to follow.

When he entered the living room downstairs, he could see them plastered to the window, peeping through the thin blinds at the car again. He had to sigh again as he moved to find his foster father sitting at the table with their other brother, playing cards.

After a short relay of information the two were up and moving into the living room as well, only to stop as the three quickly hurried away from the window and draped themselves on the couches as inconspicuously as possible. He barely had time to sigh again before the doorbell rang. Froi, with a childish smile on his face made his way toward the door instantly.

Alma, throwing at glare at the three- more Daisya and Lavi than Lenalee- moved to follow, mainly to keep his brother from killing their foster father, especially as he heard Froi answer the door with gleeful calls of 'Yuu-chan'- _surefire way to get killed_.

As he approached the door, Alma had to hold back the laugh in his throat at seeing his younger brother locked in the 'fatherly-embrace' of Froi Tiedoll, an utterly pissed off look in his eyes as he watched the ceiling with a glare. Alma would have bet money he was running through scenarios of how to kill their old man.

"Old man, you should probably stop if you ever want him to come home again," Alma calls down the small hallway to the older man present. Kanda's eyes immediately moved to his in a look that told Alma to remove him. And with a chuckle he moved forward to pull the curly haired man back from the younger.

Froi began to chat excitably as Kanda moved through the door finally, having grabbed a coat from somewhere before coming in. But he quieted down a bit as the supposed Allen entered the door after him. "Oh," Froi throws in so easily, "And you must be Allen." The white-haired man throws a mock amazed look at Kanda before turning to the older man.

"And you must be Froi Tiedoll," he replies in a voice so proper it made Alma blanch, "Pleased to meet you, sir." Allen then extends a hand to shake with the older man and Froi shakes it back easily. And in response, Kanda scoffs and crosses his arms, huffing something under his breath that made Allen inconspicuously kick him in the ankle with his equally thick looking boots, the polite smile on his face never faltering a touch.

Then suddenly there was a round of laughter in the living room and Alma, glancing back at the room, before retuning his sight to his brother, instantly saw his mood grim a little. But Allen's face, as Froi's turned to pass him into the living room, seemed to take on a wicked smile before leaning down to follow Kanda's move to take off his shoes. He could hear the small harsh whispers as they bickered, making his smile widen that much more.

Friend or something else, Alma was glad Kanda had found someone who could deal with his near-constant need for conflict - because this Allen seemed like he could dish it out just as easily as take it in.

After removing their shoes and hanging their coats up in the closet, only Allen having even put his on, they began down the short hall. Kanda stopped briefly for him to exchange glances before he moved passed. Alma and Allen just sighed in harmony after him, before smiling companionably at each other. "Allen Walker," he greets motioning for a handshake from the brother too.

"Alma Karma," he replies shaking the offered hand once. He waits for a moment as Allen seems to think about something. He was nearly sure it would be a comment on their differing last names, but Allen Walker, who seemed full of tricks already, merely smiled again.

"Right," he states calmly, "Supposedly your one of the one's I am _allowed_ to talk too." As he says it though his face splits into a mischievously large smile. Alma chuckles a bit.

"That sounds like Yuu," he sighs as they move into the living room. Just as a large cry of 'Yuu-chan' enters the air again. Alma sighs again as he spots Lavi now attached to his brother. As they entered the room though, the dark eyes were locked onto him momentarily and Alma had to chuckle. "Twice in twenty minutes, Yuu, really?" A brief chuckle resounds through the room, before Kanda freezes suddenly and then glancing at the ceiling momentarily, quickly manages to somehow kick Lavi off his form.

Alma blinks before slightly glancing to his right where Allen stood just behind him. He nearly flinched at the extremely dark _teasing_, look on the other male's face. He would nearly call it possessive. Lavi was stunned for approximately a minute before he was back up laughing with the rest of them in a quick joke.

Kanda pointedly refusing to introduce Allen to them. But Allen did it himself in the end, when they all eventually got around to it. They were all slightly caught off guard from the overly polite air that Allen gave off at the drop of a hat, especially when greeting them all. He shook every hand with his oddly still gloved ones- only the tips of his fingers which had thick black painted nails poking out.

Alma watched him discreetly, from the place he took next to Lenalee on the couch. Allen didn't seem bothered again, in the slightest, when Lavi would make a joke with 'Yuu-chan' or throw himself at the other male- who would nine time out of ten avoid him. Alma, as well as most everyone else in the room- even Allen it seemed- knew that Lavi had a rather huge _thing_ for the previously a-sexual man.

But, Alma was also conscious of how Kanda's eyes seemed trained on the white-haired man. Never letting his eyes stray very far. And whenever Kanda would shift around the room for any reason, Allen would watch him until he settled again. The chemistry was baffling from his brother. Kanda had never, _ever_, shown signs of liking- or even being _interested_- in another person sexually before. And right now, he looked like he was raping this person, Allen Walker, _with his eyes_.

After about twenty minutes only of getting acquainted with people and interacting, Allen's pocket began to play an interesting piano piece, as he stood to pull it out of his pocket. Glancing at the front screen, he quickly threw out an apologetic look and excused himself from the room, into the front entryway. There was quiet for a moment before they were all nearly looking at Kanda, who purposefully closed his eyes to ignore them.

"What the hell," was the first slowly worded question, asked by the lone female in the room. Kanda's eyes open to look at Lenalee sitting next to his just older sibling, with a questioning glare. "Where the hell did you find him," was her more accurate question. She was completely avoiding asking if he was gay - after the last twenty minutes, they didn't care, they just understood that this man meant something special to their sibling/friend. Not to mention, Kanda would probably _attempt_ to deny it.

But Kanda was just looking at her like she was daft, "Civics 162." And they all simply blinked. "I was being literal," he answered with a sigh. Alma got it first- Kanda had taken a few civics classes in school already.

"You go to school together," he asks to fill in the blanks for everyone else. Kanda answered with a roll of his eyes, that said 'duh'. There was a quiet collective 'oohh'. But then they all began to talk quietly amongst themselves when Allen suddenly poked his head around the corner, motioning to Kanda to come over. The dark-haired man frown, but did it anyway. Allen asked him something quietly, pulling his phone away from his ear for a second. Alma noticed how he hooked the gloved thumb of his vacant right hand into the back pocket of his dark jeans, as if anxious.

Then Kanda suddenly turned back to where their father was seated and looked at him demanding his attention. "Moyashi's cousins are gonna stop over and sleep on the couch." It wasn't a question but Froi just nodded, while Allen gave Kanda the dirtiest look known to man when he looked back at him. But then his face softened quickly as he looked at Froi and smiled a bit.

"Thank you," he told him smiling a bit more, before throwing Kanda another dark look and lifting his phone again. Alma was still back on the nickname, as Kanda moved back into the room when Allen returned to the entryway.

"_Moyashi_," he asks his brother who was now standing only a few feet away with his new post, between the couch where he sat and the chair where Allen had been sitting. Kanda only looked at him for a moment and scoffed.

"He's short," Kanda supplies in a monotone voice, "And his hair is naturally white." That made Lenalee and Alma both look at him oddly. Lenalee chose to verbalize, knowing she was least-likely to die.

"And, _how_ do you know that," she asks in an oddly innocent voice that made Alma smile. Kanda takes a deep breath looking around the room, before looking back at them.

"One," he starts, looking at Alma, "You're fucking _corrupting_ her. Two," he looks at Lenalee now, his voice dropping to a whisper, "I though we were skipping _over that_?" And then they were both looking at him awed.

"Did you just admit it," Lenalee suddenly hisses throwing herself over Alma's lap toward her childhood friend. Kanda couldn't help but flinch, regardless of knowing she wasn't going to hit him… This time. A lunging Lenalee is usually never good.

But before he could respond, Allen sulks back into the room, flopping into the chair he had claimed, and holding his silver phone in the air toward where Kanda was standing, his eyes not moving from directly ahead. Looking between the white-haired man and his phone, Kanda sighs as he takes it. "Directions," he asks without pressing the phone to his ear. Allen huffs.

"Damn Tyki," he replies as Kanda takes the phone and moves to exit to the entryway. Alma looks at him now.

"Who's a Tyki," Alma asks after a moment. Lenalee was back to her rightly seated place next to him, albeit a little closer than before, but Alma didn't mind. Allen looks at him confused before smiling a bit in recognition. That smile made Alma and Lenalee's hearts flutter for a moment - though Alma wouldn't have admitted it, regardless of how secure with his sexuality he may be.

"No, my," he pauses looking for the word, "let's just say cousin's name is Tyki." With an exchange of looks, Lenalee asks this time.

"Why 'let's say cousin'," the girl asks. Allen smiles a bit more hesitantly.

"My family is a bit confusing- a lot of my cousins are adopted and other's just cross over from one side to the other," he pauses, "It's confusing- to anyone who hasn't met us anyway." Alma nods, noticing that Daisya and Lavi were now wrestling on the floor, for some reason. Marie sighing at whatever had started it and trying to stop them half-heartedly.

"That makes sense," Alma finally responds. Allen nods glancing back over at the two wrestling for a moment, before looking back at Alma.

"You're all the same, right," he asks hesitantly. Alma's eyes flash over to him and he nods after a second.

"Froi adopted the four of us when we were pretty little," he replies with a shrug, "So we don't really think of it any other way." Allen nods, like he understands, with a small smile. The three watching as Lavi and the much shorter Daisya roll around on the ground enthusiastically- Marie still trying to stop them. Then Kanda reenters the room and with a strategically placed foot, separates them.

"Fucking idiots," he growls as they both look up at him like he had shocked them. Still glaring a the two, he tosses the silver phone back to Allen who catches it with little problem. Then he huffs and moves passed them both and back to his spot on the wall.

"You're seriously no fun, Kanda," Daisya suddenly states, still sitting on the floor his legs and arms crossed, as he glares at the youngest. Kanda takes his place on the wall and doesn't retort, crossing his arms as well.

Alma and Lenalee watched as a brief exchange of looks was passed between Kanda and this new person. It was enough to say that they were both caught off guard with how comfortable they looked with each other.

Then they noticed Daisya was trying to pick another fight with Lavi - it wasn't uncommon they liked to fight a lot, regardless that neither meant much harm by it. They watch as Froi tells something quietly to Marie, and with a nod the oldest brother stands and grabbing Daisya by the back of his shirt and hefting Lavi over his shoulder, carries both of them toward the kitchen. No one speaks until they hear the backdoor open, and then shut again.

Kanda suddenly sighs. "Goddamn, why does nothing change around here?" Lenalee and Alma chuckle, while Allen looks up at his… at Kanda- because neither had stated if they _were_ together or not.

"Consistency isn't a bad thing in this case," Allen states so levelly, it seemed scripted. Alma and Lenalee both watch interested as Kanda turns a glare of him. Allen in turn grins daringly, and they hold it for a while. Much to their amazement, Kanda scoffs first and turns away.

"Dumbass," he huffs and Allen grins a bit more.

"So you keep telling me."

* * *

><p><em>So. This is a new story... Obviously. it's been in the works a long while now- and I figured I'd try it out.<em>  
><em>The chapters change styles a lot- I'll warn you now.<em>  
><em>At first this story was similar to Will You Let Me Explain?, meaning that they were both excersies to test my style writing.<em>

_But lately, this one has been writing itself and craving sttention- which is where my My Loathsome Lover attention is diverted to. So I figured I'd give it a little site time. (Sheepish smile) This will probably not be updated anywhere near regualrly. I have chapter two done- as well as three and four is in process. There is time jumping- you've been warned about that too._

_Chapter two will probably have me ripping out hairs for formating on here... But I like how I wrote it, so I'm gonna try to keep it that way. (You'll understand when/if I get it posted.)_

_But anywho- Lemme know what you guys think a' dis one, nei? Or if you have questions, shoot. (Smiles)_  
><em>-Aseru.<em>


	2. History

_Heya.  
>(And the rating tops out...)<em>  
><em>Chapter two starts now.<em>

_For future reference, Kanda is 'The First' and Allen is 'The Second'- Read and you'll understand. I hope it doesn't get too confusing.. Sorry if it does._  
><em>Until the bottom.<em>

* * *

><p>"<em>Say what you mean<br>Tell me I'm right  
>And let the sun rain down on me<br>Give me a sign  
>I want to believe…"<br>_"The Ballad of Mona Lisa" -Panic! At The Disco

**XXX**

_**A-(Not So)-Sexual Man  
><strong>__Chapter the Second:  
><em>History

* * *

><p>They met in the fall- August of his freshmen year.<p>

"_Watch where you're going, Moyashi," the first growled.  
><em>"_You ran into me, jerk."_

He met the first cousin at the same time.

"_Oh, Allen," said cousin - Wisely - threw in, "Let it go. Come on we'll be later for class."_

They first had sex a week and a half before Thanksgiving Break.

"_How much did I drink," The first asks.  
><em>"_Who knows," The second replies, "God, my ass hurt."  
><em>"_You're fault."  
><em>"_How is it my fault you can't control yourself?"_

He finally admitted he didn't hate him a few days before Thanksgiving break.

"_You know," the first cousin tells him in a hushed voice as the second leaves for the bathroom, "He's waiting on you, Anger-Management."  
><em>"_Shut the hell up, Wisely," the first scoffs, before he pauses briefly, "You act like I don't know that?"  
><em>"_Well," the first cousin pauses, "Are you even planning on doing anything about it?" The first pauses even more.  
><em>"_Maybe."_

They started 'dating' on December twelfth, shortly after returning from Thanksgiving break.

"_God, you annoy me with your bitching, you know that?" The first scoffs, "If you dislike it so much we'll stop fucking." A pause.  
><em>"_But," The second replies over his coffee cup, "You know… if we're dating, I might not hate it."  
><em>_After a pause, "Dating?"  
><em>"_Yes," the second sighs, rolling his eyes dramatically, "You know - like organized meetings." Another pause.  
><em>"_So, nothing really big," the first asks thoughtfully, his face pulled in a large frown.  
><em>"_Uh," the second replies, "I guess." A bit longer pause.  
><em>"_Fine."_

He met the second cousin that weekend - while at the other's apartment Saturday morning.

"_Morning, Allen," The second cousin - Tyki - chirps, making his way into the kitchen of younger's loft. He stop when seeing the _two_occupants.  
><em>"_Tyki," the second fumes, "What have I told you about calling first?" The second cousin pauses.  
><em>"_Always do."  
><em>"_What did you do?"  
><em>"_Didn't."  
><em>"_And what was your reward?"  
><em>"_Greeting my cousin a bit under half dressed and the pleasure of meeting his boyfriend finally - Hello, you must be Kanda."_

They didn't fight about Christmas plans that year, as neither were ready to meet the other's families yet - but they did fight about who's was more crazed. It's still unresolved.

"_When do you need to leave," the second asked as they woke up on the 19__th__of December.  
><em>"_Hmm," the first replies as he rolls over still only half awake, his arms capturing the second. "After I fuck you for the last time for about a week?"  
><em>"_Works fine for me," the second replies moving to the ready._

They spent the first birthday together (the second's) when the first surprised the second by returning early on the 25th.

"_This sappy shit doesn't really fit you, you know," the second told him as they laid in bed later that night.  
><em>"_Che," the first replies immediately, "I planned it like six hours in advance - my family was driving me crazy."_

He met the third, fourth and fifth cousins when the three teenagers showed up with the first and second, for an impromptu New Year's Eve party that the second didn't know he was going to be having.

"_They incognizance my life at least six times a day." The second nods as he speaks, "By this point if they didn't, I might be concerned."_

The first found out about the other's job by fluke in April.

"_So," he begins, not sure why this was a bad thing. "You're family runs a record label - But you actually own it? And you don't want people to know..?" The second merely glares at the sidewalk, in front of his shoes. "You really _aren't_normal, are you?"  
><em>_With a quick glance, the second laughs. "Yeah - love you too, asshole."  
><em>"_Che, I know."_

He met the rest of the family unexpectedly, when they suddenly descended on the town.

"_So," the second inquires getting to the point, pointedly looking at the aunt - Lulu - who they all listed as a cousin. "You all just decided that you'd, once again, invade my life and attempt to take over?"  
><em>"_Piff, Allen," The uncle - Cyril - throws in, "we simply are tired of knowing the name without the face, and this is a face to know."_

After they were gone, they reached an agreement.

"_I dislike your family - they're kinda fuckin' creepy," The first announces. The second only chuckles, with a small nod.  
><em>"_Drink?"_

In May, when the first told the second he was going to take a few summer classes, without hesitation the second told him to move in.

"_Why," was the first's question. The second merely shrugged.  
><em>"_You just told me your 'old man' won't want to pay for housing - so why not stay here? There's even an extra room if you want your own. As far as your 'old man' needs to know, you're staying with a friend." Pause, "Or you got a job and are getting an apartment - because I don't know if they'll believe that you actually have a friend."  
>T<em>_he first simply glared. "You're such an ass."  
><em>"_And you fuck it every chance you get."_

But their real problem started on the third of June.

"_So," the second begins.  
><em>"_So," the first returns after a short pause.  
><em>"So_, when can I meet your family?"  
><em>_The first didn't reply._

They avoided the problem on the first's birthday, having dinner and going to bed. But the next day, the problem renewed when the first announced he was being forced to attend his own birthday party that his _family_ was having for him.

"_I don't want to go even," the first added, "I'll be back tomorrow morning."  
><em>_The second said nothing._

The following evening was the first time the second ever questioned their relationship.

And it wasn't a good thing, he realized.

**XXX**

Allen Walker was a well-off person. He had always had luxuries that most others only craved. And maybe that was why he had never really had a problem with relationships before. People _wanted_ him- and it was only usually minutely the other way around. There had been very few people who ruffled his feathers to any extent.

But… _God-be-damned if Yuu Kanda wasn't one of them_.

The slightly younger man wasn't the type he usually went for. He usually went for the 'full of life' hyper active sort - be it men or women. Not like Kanda - the bitchy, 'I do what I want' type. Not the 'there aren't strings here' type either like he'd seemingly turned into in the last month.

He nearly regretted letting (asking) the slightly younger, but still taller, _jerk_ move in with him… Nearly.

Because, honestly - the sex was amazing, and even the fact of being fucked senseless by a slightly younger man wasn't all that vexing to him. And then, when he thought about it - seeing that dirty mouth that would cuss him ten ways to Spain any other time, suck him off like he had the night before… _shit, was he drooling_?

He was a natural - from virgin to seductress in just enough time to not make him seem like a whore, and Allen had helped him through it all. Regardless that they were both pretty drunk the first time, he'd been hooked from the start. They still fought like they hated each other most of the time, but when shit got serious neither of them backed away any more. It was almost comforting.

But then, he had moved in… and his personality suddenly went on guard. As if he was just now realizing 'holy fuck we're in a relationship'. And it was pissing Allen off.

Allen Walker was usually a very level-headed man. But Yuu Kanda seemed to be able to make him freak the fuck out without trying. Then again, they never really had talked about their relationship…

He hated labels. No joke- with his history it was beyond understandable. He called his whole family his cousins, because it was easier than referring to them as what they were, because some of the titles would go on for a while.

But he couldn't stop the thoughts of _why_ from nagging at him. Why couldn't he stamp an accurate label on this- Kanda and his _relationship_? Was it because they were hardly ever civil to each other- the animosity even sometimes spanning to the bedroom? Was it because he was scared of the commitment that a label would put on them? … No, none of that seemed to really bother him. He'd been with Kanda nearly six months… _only_ with Kanda- it really didn't bother him. In any other situation maybe- if he was even still talking to any of his past play-things.

But, _that_ was one label he couldn't let Kanda have - the mere thought sickened him. _Play-thing_. He wasn't playing with Kanda - and that thought really, _really_ scared him for a moment. He was completely serious about the other - and what if Kanda wasn't serious about him?

That thought was answered with a tight, uncomfortable clenching in his stomach. He felt like vomiting. Or crying… Or crying while he vomited…? It was a terribly distressing feeling.

_Godfuckigndamnit_. He didn't like this anymore.

Laying on his- _their_- bed he just watched the light dance over the ceiling, but his mind was racing.

_Holyfuckingshit_. He was freaking out.

His right hand dipped into his pocket without another thought and pulled out his phone. _Speed-dial exists for a reason something like this_, was his thought as he pressed his phone to his ear, waiting for his cousin- the actual one- to answer.

"Allen," was the greeting, sounding slightly confused.

"I'mfreakingthe_fuck_out," he replies without a second thought, his words mashed together in haste sounding beyond hysterical. _That was a good description_, he thought distractedly, _hysterical - totally fits_.

"Whoa," Wisely's voice was now more alert, "What the hell is wrong with you?" Allen found himself unable to reply. "Never mind," Wisely replies after a second, "I'll be over in a tic." And then the line was gone and Allen let his hand with his now silent phone fall back to the bed beside him.

His mind reeled for a few minutes, no one thought sticking out more than the others - he was overloading. Somewhere in his mind, he was glad both Wisely and Tyki had keys to his- _their_- apartment.

Somewhere else in his mind, he wondered what time it was. He knew Kanda had left a long while ago, and then it was early afternoon. He lifted his head a bit to see the clock as he heard the front door open downstairs. 12:26 AM. _Fuck_. And his head was flopped back on his bed.

"Allen," the younger could hear his cousin call into the house.

"In the bedroom." And within a few moments the other man was standing in the doorway, a pair of baggy blue jean on his hip held up with a tan belt and a plain white t-shirt, ending with the tips of white socks poking out of the bottom of his pants. And of course- that same long as hell scarf wrapped around his Walker-white hair line.

"So," his cousin starts, moving into the room and plopping down on the desk char in the corner, turning in around to look at him. "What's going on?" The he pauses before looking around the room then toward the hall outside, "Where's Doll-Face?" Allen only flinched at Wisely's nickname for his… boyfriend? Lover? _Meh_.

He could only groan. "He went home for the night- his _family_ was throwing him a birthday party."

"Oohhh," Wisely replies, hearing the snip he unconsciously added to 'family'. "So you two are still fighting about that?" Another groan. "Got'cha." And a brief silence. "There was a reason you called me, right?" With a slightly lull of his head to make eye contact with his cousin, Allen glared. After a moment where the glare did little passed the initial flinch, Allen sighs though.

"Wisely," he asks, his head turning back to look at the ceiling, still in the same position as he had been a few hours ago.

"Hm," the older replies.

"Do you think he's serious about this," he asks. A pause. And after a moment when he didn't get a response, he turns his head again to look at his cousin. And he sighs seeing the large eyed gape and the slightly open mouth.

"Shit," Wisely seemed to whisper, "Are _you_?" Allen couldn't stop the small flinch at the question. "I mean, _shit_, Allen." A brief stunned pause. "I realized that you had been limiting yourself for the kid, but even I didn't think you were _this _far into him."

"Neither did _I_, dip_shit_," Allen was suddenly yelling, sitting up as he had been some hours ago on the edge of the bed. "Hence me calling you out of the fucking blue, because I'm freaking a fucking lid!" Wisely was suddenly- somehow- stunned even further.

"You just yelled _and_ cussed at me," he whispered more to himself than anyone, because then Allen was yelling again.

"No _shit_, Wise," he all but growled, "I've never felt this out of control about _anything_. I don't like it- _I don't want it_. I'm not _supposed_ to lose control- _he_ shouldn't have this much power over me." Then his gusto was gone and he was slumped limp- shoulders sagging, lips pouting, the whole nine yards. "I think I love him, Wise."

And all Wisely Walker - age 22, forensics major in college - could do was gape. "I think my _dad_ just got into _Heaven_- 'Cause Allen-fucking-Walker just told me he loved someone _other_ than his father-" He sighs. "-And I believe him." And Allen was groaning again, flopping back on the bed and throwing a temper tantrum - muttering and groaning, whining and pouting, feet'a'flailing- _everything_. "Holy shit," Wisely suddenly seemed to announces. And Allen pauses in his tantrum to look at him, now somehow on his back sideways in the bed. "I may get to _finally_ see the first time you get turned down!"

"_Wisely_- you're such an ass!"

And after several hours of running ideas - most of which led to more twisting as Allen complained of the 'awkwardness' he felt most- _all_- of the mentioned would cause, they had nothing.

So around six the next morning, when Wisely finally concluded that he had to go into work and Allen showed him out, the younger decided he would just deal with it until he figure out something.

Kanda returned shortly after noon. Allen was standing in the kitchen, eating a sandwich at the counter, so lost in thought that when the door slammed shut slightly after the other entered he jumped a bit. Taking a deep breath he turned to greet Kanda as he entered the kitchen, stopping just inside to look at him blankly. "Did you even sleep, stupid," was the first thing he asked. Allen didn't reply for a moment as his face contorted in an exaggerated frown, knowing if he lied it would only make things worse.

"No," he finally replies, turning to look back at his mostly-eaten sandwich, "I was working." It _was_ a lie, but a believable one. It wasn't uncommon for him to stay up all night working on something or other for the label. And Kanda just grunted in understanding as he moved to the refrigerator, pulling out various things to make himself some lunch. Stuffing the last of his sandwich down, he discards the paper plate and starts out of the kitchen, mumbling about taking a shower. He tried to not notice the other's quizzical glare at his back.

After a quick shower that he was lost in thought during and ended up washing his hair twice, Allen quickly gathered some clothes from the closet before moving to the bedroom to get dressed.

"You look like hell." He refused to admit he jumped at hearing Kanda's voice from the door. But when he turned around to see the thoughtful frown on the younger's face, Allen came to terms with it. Allen Walker was undeniably _in love_ with Yuu Kanda. And he was scared shitless by that mere thought.

After about two hours of avoiding eye contact, Allen finally got away with a call from the office saying there were some things he needed to look over waiting for him. He left quickly, practically rushing though the explanation while pulling on his shoes. Again, he tried to not notice the odd look the younger was giving him as he fled- because that was _totally_ was he was doing.

They were both aware that he hardly ever left without a kiss, playful or otherwise.

And he would _admit_ he hid in his office all day- well into the night. But at almost eleven that night, his phone vibrated on his desk next to the keyboard to tell him he had a text. Opening it, there was a message from Kanda, simply containing: '_?_'

He knew his actions were probably baffling to the other, and if he was being honest with himself, he had a huge want to go home and sleep with the other. But even that scared him. He didn't want to fuck him- or be fuck by him as it were. He shivered as he realized that _cuddling_ with Kanda sounded amazing right then.

He sent a quick reply. Short, stunted and to the point. '_Staying at the office to finish up some stuff. Will probably just sleep here, since I have that meeting in the morning._' And he fought the urge to close with what any other time would have been a semi-joking 'love you'. But now, it felt too raw to say that when he realized he actually meant it.

When Kanda didn't reply for a while, he turned distractedly back to his work. But after about ten minutes, another text arrived.

'_Are you avoiding me?_'

And his heart skipped a beat. Thinking about it, it probably did seem that way. And well- yeah, he was. But it probably wasn't for the reason the younger was thinking- but he wasn't ready to admit the real reason yet. So, he simply didn't reply.

And at three-fifteen when he finally wheedled through his work to the point of blurred vision, he flopped down on the couch in his office, kicked off his shoes and fell into a dreamless sleep.

The meeting the next morning, pressed into the late afternoon, at which point his problems with his… _with Kanda_, were close to the last thing on his mind. Dragging himself home, he unlocked the door without thought and was startled by the quiet that he heard as he let it close behind him. Moving into the living room, all the lights were off. Looking at the counter in the kitchen, there was no note. And moving into his- _their_- bedroom, nothing seemed terribly off. The bed was oddly made, that was about it. After a fit of paranoia, he noted that Kanda's clothes were all still in the closet - he hadn't _left_ left. Maybe he had just gone out.

Piddling himself through a quick shower, he quickly dressed and just as he was about to lay down his phone began to ring. And then he was back off to the office where a problem had come up with a record that was supposed to be released in the next week. And for the first time ever, Allen cursed his over-demanding job and his wish to have an active hand in nearly everything.

And at a little after eleven this time, his phone vibrated again. Still in the sound booth working on the problem, he didn't have time to even open it. When he was able to make his way back to his office assuming he would crash on his couch again, he was barely through the door when he was assaulted with a blood chilling glare.

And _somehow_, it turned him on.

Kanda had taken a seat in his large, comfy desk chair, his converse clad feet propped up on the desk in front of him, leading to the rest of his body with dark colored tight jeans. His hair was down and looked like it was still a little wet from the shower. And with that glare and those tight jeans and that tighter black shirt - and _oh god, that hair_. Yeah, he was defiantly turned on.

"Hi," he asks, before Kanda was practically walking on his word with his own snippy statement.

"You're avoiding me." It wasn't a question and Allen couldn't find it in himself to answer… even though he _knew_ it _wasn't_ a question. So after a brief pause he returned with his own question.

"How'd you get in here?" More word stepping.

"_Why_ are you avoiding me?" _Okay, maybe it was a question_… Though his face barely changed, he was growling now. Still looking utterly in control. It made Allen more than a little hot.

"Hm," was his reply, before he felt himself frowning and pinning the other with a hard look. "Why do you think?" It was a half-baited question. He wanted to know, even though he knew it nine-time-out-of-ten wouldn't be correct. Kanda growled, his feet flipping off the desk and thumping back onto the floor.

"If this is about the _stupid_ family thing, you're being retarded," he was all but roaring now. Allen had to give him kudos - that one at least made sense. Any other time and it probably would have been correct. But it wasn't, so he answered with a small shake of his head. "Then _what_?" He growling again - head shaking, black locks falling over his shoulder, eyes rolling. "Do you really want to play twenty-_fucking_-questions? Or are you just going to tell me so I can fix it?"

And that statement caught him off guard. Kanda actually seemed eager to 'fix' whatever was making this void between them. But in the back of his mind- _always_ in the back of his mind- was the little voice that told him Kanda just wanted to screw him again, so he'd _fix _anything. Anything, as long as they could go back to mindless fucking. And that wasn't what Allen wanted.

"Kanda," he asks, and he could see the other still in the dim office. He was still watching him just as hard, both now overly alert. "What are we?" And Allen could see his roommate-at-least freeze even more. He thought he even saw the younger's chest jump and shoulders sag, like he had just lost his wind. _Like he'd gotten punched in the gut_.

Was it that odd of a question? He couldn't remember them ever really _talking_ about this - or anything _remotely _deep as this. They both shied away from things like this that involved _both_ of them. One or the other was usually fine, but not _both _of them.

From the stunned look the other was giving him though, maybe it was.

And Allen found himself sighing, eyes falling to the carpet. By the other's reaction Allen was now nearly sure that Yuu Kanda had never - _and probably would never_, he noted - think about him as he had been trying to deny he thought of Yuu Kanda. It was a nasty feeling- rejection, or disappointment he guessed. Kind of felt like a bunch of women in really pointy stilettos walking all over his heart. Made it feel raw and sensitive- _and made him gain a growing dislike for stilettos_.

"That's what I thought," was all he could find to say. And with a sigh he found himself leaning back on the wall next to his door, still unable to look up at the other as an achy silence seemed to grasp at him. His hands found their way into his pocket as he fought against rubbing his chest to attempt smash the tiny stiletto wearing women. _Fucking-ridiculous-shoes_.

But then, without hearing him move, Kanda was right in front of him. Both hands on the sides of his face forcing him to meet the other man's eyes. "What _the fuck_ are you being so _emo_ about?" And Allen found himself finding this situation now funny- _possibly hilarious_.

He was being manhandled by his six-month younger seme, in his sixteenth floor prestigious office of the record label he owned. And yes, he was being emo- and an unconfident idiot, which was something he didn't allow himself to be any other time than when it came to this man- who could manhandle him _any day_, and he would love it all the same. Because- yeah, he defiantly loved Yuu Kanda.

And much to Kanda's displeasure, he found himself laughing. At first a small snicker, but as he watched the bemusement in the younger man's eyes, it grew, until he was clucking his hands against Kanda's that were now a bit in front of his face as he gasped and belly-laughed. But then as his laughter died down he gasped out his reasoning to the question burning in Kanda's eyes: _What the hell are you laughing about?_

"Why did I have to fall in love with a brat like you?"

And then there was a very brief pause. In which, Kanda seemingly inspected him. First inspecting his tone, and finding it genuine if not a bit playful. Then his smile, which seemed, again genuine, but with a underlying tease not-so-subtlety covered. But then he seemed to inspect his eyes. Finding a softness that Allen rarely showed anyone in one-hundred percent proof- he'd only seemed it on maybe two occasions, both for mere moments when the other was just waking up in the morning- and he seemed to acknowledge that it was fully recognized by it's giver this time.

And at that, he threw on his commonplace scowl and even while he allowed his own eyes to open up as he did even more rarely that the other, he snipped in reply. "What, _exactly_, is that supposed to mean, _Moyashi_?"

And they returned to normal… but not really, because now there was an unvoiced bridge that they had both passed over. Never with words, but with actions and looks they were now able to acknowledge what neither were really comfortable saying for their own reasons.

* * *

><p><em>Shoes can be evil- It's a fact.<em>  
><em>So this is my attempt at awakard for this story... It'll probably be attempted again (and again, and again, ect.)... (Facepalm) But that's all I got for now.<em>

_And for the recond- this was already written by the time I posted this story. So after this, there will be waiting. I'm sorry in advance._  
><em>But please review and let me know what you think- kay?<em>

_Thanks,_  
><em>-Aseru.<em>


	3. Passion

_Hey._  
><em><strong>Warning<strong>: Filler._

_..._  
><em>I'm sorry- it's necessary in the long run.<em>

* * *

><p>"<em>We'll take it out of here<br>I think I'm ready to leave  
>I'm ready to live…"<br>_"Ready To Go (Get Me Out of My Mind)" -Panic! At The Disco

**XXX**

_**A-(Not So)-Sexual Man  
><strong>__Chapter the Third:  
><em>Passion

* * *

><p>And the process continued… But not exactly the same way.<p>

Wisely noticed the next time around both of them- being that he intended to watch just to see it. But as soon as he was alone in the living room with his cousin, Allen flashed him a large smile that claimed victory. Wisely sighed, "Of course not. Allen Walker will never be rejected." Allen just laughed, and then flashed his patented 'way too bright for daylight' smile.

Rhode was the next to understand- when she came to spend the night with her favorite cousin. There were looks passed between Allen and Kanda that she'd never comment on, passed a loft shapely brow- which would be answered with a small grin and blush from the white-haired man. And Rhode, of course, told Tyki- and was overheard by a lurking Cyril.

The twins, Jasdero and Devitto seemed like they had somehow already known- and thusly seemed unaffected. Lulu Bell said she didn't give two shits either way- but Allen made sure to swamp her with work _either way_, just to keep her quiet and out of his hair.

And the other's simply didn't seem to genuinely care- as long as Allen was happy.

And so Kanda was abruptly an unofficial part of the family. He openly didn't seem to mind. And a few months later, near Halloween, suddenly asked a rather fight-renewing question. Or at least it felt like it to Allen.

"Do you still want to meet my family?"

But after a second, in which he turned to look at the other, who was sitting behind him- chest having been against his back as they lounged on the couch in the apartment. Kanda's face was carefully void, seemingly 'just asking'. But the discomfort in his eyes made Allen pause. But, eventually he released a small affirmative. Kanda just nodded, his face now taking on some of the discomfort.

"Just let me get used to the idea- that's all, okay?"

Allen paused, fighting his over-joyous smile that he knew would scare the other back into his _no_-cave as he nodded twice. And settling back into the comfortable position that they were both used to now, they continued to watch the horrible foreign film- the ones they watched nearly every Thursday night just to knock them out faster, and usually left them both sleeping curled up on the couch.

**XXX**

Halloween was usually a big thing for the record company- that year taking over one of the local clubs (that the label owned) and throwing a huge party seemed like a great idea. And it was.

The VIP only party at '_4__th__ Gate_' lead to quite a few employees making a lot of bad choices. And Allen- with Kanda seated right next to him- watched them all, only getting slightly buzzed on the mass of provided alcohol. But when the twins started to accost a mid-sized male, who had just before that been making out with Jasdero- things got interesting real fast.

Allen would admit it if you asked, that he'd always respected the twins for their lack of inhibitions- if that made any sense. But Allen knew he kept his inhibitions for a reason- he had a lot more to lose now than the twins. He was the one who would have to pull them out of the ditch if that's where they decided to put themselves. But unfortunately they couldn't do the same for him anymore- Allen's 'ditch' would be far to deep and shark infested for even both the twins to attempt.

But when Devitto pulled up a chair just behind the mid-sized, nameless man- Allen couldn't make himself look away. Jasdero was still sucking face with the short haired brunette- who might have been high on something- when Devitto began to lick and nip at the back of his neck. Jasdero was suddenly reaching passed the middle man and latching his left hand into Devitto's hair and tugging. Devitto's hands were then sliding against the middle-man's shirt, running over his stomach and sides.

The third party seemed oblivious that there were now three hands on him, and no one person had three hands- at least that Allen had ever seen before.

The middle-man was then kissing at Jasdero's neck while the blond was watching his brother begin to fondle the other man. The short-sleeved button up was slowly undone and then untucked from the man's jeans. Allen idly wondered who tucked a button up into jeans, but even then his eyes didn't move from the trio.

Nor did he notice that he was suddenly fondling Kanda's leg that had been draped over his thigh at the knee- which of course he had put there, because Kanda was never that PDA oriented. But no, Allen's eyes remained locked onto his 'cousins' as they played with their most recent toy- only halfway registering that at least one of them was in a 'some-kind-of' relationship as far as he knew.

Shirt untucked and unbuttoned, and Devitto had then moved his chair closer. Jasdero parted his legs and the chair along with his brother now between them, the middle-man on Devitto's knees and Jasdero's thighs. The nameless man, continued to kiss along the blond's displayed chest while Jasdero's hands worked to unzip the man's pants for his brother's blind hands. The middle-man then seemed to notice the third participant, and turning slighting on his new perch immediately began to lock lips with the darker-haired twin.

Allen wouldn't deny watching this was turning him on- Kanda wouldn't even ask, as the proof was now visible just up from where his knee was perched. The slightly younger man, took in their position. On a circular couch toward the back of the club, a high table completely hiding their lower halves from view to people outside the table- at which, they were alone. The twins were stationed outside the booth, at a long bar couch that divided the 'dining' area from the dance floor. There was a low coffee-table-esque table to each side of them which one of Jasdero's legs was leaning on.

Kanda would admit- it was arousing to watch the twins play with this man, and even more so as they began to stroke him off. It was a odd thought, but they made incest look acceptable. And then feeling Allen absently kneed his thigh- though Kanda knew he wasn't doing it on purpose- it was _so_ tempting. _Just tempting enough_, it seemed.

He would later sigh at the realization, but it wouldn't have been nearly as tempting if, since the whole fiasco shortly after his birthday, their bedroom life seemed to have cooled off a bit. Nearing in on a year- that was not supposed to be enough time for things to _cool down_ at all. But once those three words _kind of_ came out, well, _it did_.

Not to an alarming level or anything, just that the sex lost its roughness. The count didn't go down at all though, maybe even went up a bit. Conclusion: more sex, more molten passion, less _burning_ passion- and Kanda wanted that _scalding_ heat back. And honestly- he was feeling pretty scalding right there, with Allen touching him and both of them somehow getting turned on by watching the twins play.

So as they watched the nameless man between the twins be played with, Kanda played a bit on his own. At first it was simply letting Allen kneed at his thigh, the pleasure being heightened by the public setting. Then he began to play with Allen's hair at the base of his head. Those sensitive hair being stroked and tugged with the twins playing. If Allen knew what he was doing he gave no indication. Even as a waitress came by and Kanda ordered another soda- they all knew he wasn't old enough to drink even if he had wanted to. He didn't, either way.

But eventually, the game was going too slow for even Kanda's liking. So shifting a bit, which made Allen look at him bewildered, Kanda merely scoffed before turning him and positioning the somehow older man between his legs and returning to playing. Allen cussed at him a bit when Kanda made sure his own erection was pressed against his back. And then just to make things a bit worse, the waitress returned with his drink and Kanda smiled as she traded them out and walked away.

"What the hell got into you," the white-haired man asked him a harsh whisper as he ducked his head back next to Kanda ear. Kanda couldn't stop the chuckle as he grabbed the other's erection slightly and whispered back into the other's ear, the same question, in a much different tone. Allen merely turned his head to look at the younger, giving Kanda a half-assed glare, "You notice the twins, too?" Kanda grinned.

"You notice you were grabbing my leg," he purred right back. Allen blushed and dropped his head a bit before turning fully around and after moving the new drink, sat himself up on the table, Kanda now between his legs.

"No, I didn't," he replied truthfully, just before ducking down and sealing his lips over the other's. A heated make-out session later, they both agreed there wasn't enough space and quickly made their way up to the VIP room and then, seeing several people inside, quickly ducked into the VIP restroom. And in the third stall of the lavished restroom, they reignited that spark- before going home and lighting it a few more times.

* * *

><p><em>Yeah.<em>  
><em>Next chapter won't take this long... It's mostly done already, actually. This is short too... (Sighs)<em>  
><em>And yeah, the bit with the twins might seem pretty pointless right now, but there are reasons- given in subtle hints... That might become a bit glaring bits within another chapter.<em>

_And, by the way people. You guys blew up my inbox for like three days strong- I was walking on clouds. (Stupid Grin) I do appreciate all responses I get to anythign I write. _  
><em>Though if you just wanna say I'm a 'weird ass person' for delving into the metality of gay men... Go <em>away_, because write about homosexual men is more controversial than to be writing about homosexual women like some might want. And I hate how the sterotypes around the two genders are so different- that some _males_ ask their bi-sexual _girl_friends to get girlfriends as well- so _the male_ can have more fun... That's bull_shit_- by the way.  
>That got off topic- If you don't like <em>what_ I write, don't read it and don't bother telling me about it. If you don't like _how_ I write- please, enlighten me, I'd love to hear about it._

_I ranted- I sorry._  
><em>Lemme know what you think of this (possibly horrible) filler and then next chapter will probably be out sooner than later.<em>  
><em>Thanks always.<em>  
><em>-Aseru.<em>


	4. Quirks

_Hi._  
><em>This is the forth installment.<em>

_Nothing much happens- at least of mass significance, minus maybe two small things._  
><em>But we are about to meet two of those little 'Noah Family Brats'- I think it fits them in a fun, playful kinda way. Enter Rhode, Wisely and Tyki.<em>

_To the Bottom!_  
><em>Huzzah!<em>

* * *

><p>"<em>Wanna be free<br>__Wanna be loved  
><em>_Wanna be more than you're thinking of  
>Everything seems to be estranged when you're alone…"<br>_"I Wanna Be Free" -Panic! At The Disco

**XXX**

_**A-(Not So)-Sexual Man  
><strong>Chapter the Forth:_  
>Quirks<p>

* * *

><p>Alma Karma could now say he was the only one in his family that didn't seem even slightly bothered by the white-haired man now sitting at the kitchen table, by this point. But after receiving the mental signal from his nearly-twin, he was also the only of the seven of them that had decided to not play poker against Kanda's boyfriend. And, also, he and Lenalee had been made privy to that assuring title.<p>

Kanda was now holding Allen's, or Moyashi's, phone hostage- pending the arrival of the six-month older man's three cousins. And seemed a bit anxious about it, if Alma had any indication- and by the nervous glances his brother had been sending his partner, he was inclined to believe it.

But, Karma was also still reeling from Allen's amazing skills at poker- _cheating at poker_, Kanda assured him.

And then the piano piece he could now recognize as Allen's ring tone and the doorbell began chiming at nearly the same time. Allen threw Kanda another glance and Alma watched as his brother made his was to the front door, pulling the phone out only long enough to answer and then hang up without even lifting it to his ear. Alma followed a bit, stopping at the foyer archway.

"Kanda-tan," came a smooth, young sounding female voice from the entrance and Alma felt the need to peek around the archway and watch. Noticing the sleeved arms wrapped around his brother's midsection and Kanda tense back, Alma smiled. _Apparently everyone liked to glomp his brother_.

"Get off, Rhode," Kanda growled back a moment later, as two other bodies moved toward the door. The girl grudgingly let go as Kanda moved to open the door again.

The girl who Alma could mostly see now, came up to Kanda's shoulder and her vibrant hair was wildly-stylish on her head- seemed to be a family thing, he noted as the other two males made their way into the foyer. The first was a white-haired male, who Alma guessed was the 'actual cousin' as Allen had been calling him. His odd hair was held back with a long black and white stripped bandana. The man behind them seemed a bit more… _normal_, maybe. His hair a coal black, that was pulled back in a half knot- though his eyes were a bright, vibrant yellow color. Each had their weird quirks, it seemed.

And after letting the three in, exchanging a few words with each, Kanda returned to his normal and slid passed Alma without even attempting to introduce the three that now stood awkwardly between the front door and him. With a sigh, Alma took over- introducing himself and motioning that they could put their coats in the closet.

"Sorry about Kanda," Alma laughed a little nervously. "He doesn't seem to be very happy at he moment." The small girls laughed a bit as she handed her coat to the black-haired man, who took it and hung it while she turned back to Alma.

"Allen's playing poker," she guessed innocently. Alma froze. "He is, isn't he?" And they both shared a tight smile. "It happens a lot," she finished. And then the black haired man joined the other two back in the foyer, kicking off his shoes as he exited the medium sized closet. The while haired male, who hadn't said anything yet, was smiling at him slyly.

"Tyki," he tells the dark-haired man, who looked up to the three of them eyeing him oddly.

"Yeah," he asks slowly, his eyes locking with the white-haired man's.

"Go play poker with Allen," He commands lightly, "I get the feeling he's terrorizing them." And glancing at Alma, his face unintentionally agreeing, the dark-haired man's lips slid into a quick, _devious_ smile.

"Sounds fun," Tyki relied before stepping passed Alma in the hallway and heading for the dinning room where there were loud groans being expelled again. Alma turned back to the two who were watching- maybe- elder man move through the house.

"Wisely Walker," the white-haired man introduced himself, extending his hand to Alma. With a curt shake he continued. "That over-excited card player is Tyki Mikk, and this-" he motions to the small girl now with her thin purple phone in her hands, tapping away "-Is his niece Rhode Kamelot. My…" he pauses and even Rhode looks up at him both stopping for a second to think.

"Cousin," Rhode asks slowly, and after a second Wisely begins to nod.

"Yeah," another pause and then he nods again looking back at Alma, "Cousin?" Rhode still looked contemplative.

"So I'm Allen's cousin too," she half-asks looking up at Wisely again. "Right?" The white-haired man pauses again before nodding.

"Well, yeah." Alma was just watching now- slightly amused with how they didn't really seem to know already.

As they thought about it, Alma took in the appearance of the two. Wisely was wearing a pair of tight, white skinny jeans with a gray mesh scarf though the loops that trailed down his left thigh. His shirt was white with an inlay of a black vest on it, odd gray swirling lines on the right pocket of the non-existant vest that almost resembles a gray flower with its loopy curves. His wrist were covered with a few black bracelets that varied from string to thick leather. Black fingerless gloves covered his hands, the blacks lined with a thin white ribbon in a stitch pattern. And then add in the white and black stripped bandana- he seemed coordinated, down to the black converse he had already removed.

Rhode seemed a bit different, as in instead of white and gray- she wore violet and lavender. Her leggings were solid strips of black and purple, that lead to a plaid skirt that was only accented with white strips with the purples and black- held up with a thin black belt. Her shirt was a simply purple tee, with black swirls on it, surrounding a crest detailed in thin lavender lines. And on her neck was a thin black band, with a violet gem- that looked plastic-fake surrounded by lavender and black lace. Her hands up to her elbows covered with arm socks in similar colors of black and purple lace. Again, Rhode was coordinated down to her black and purple ballet flats that had already been removed.

And finally after few random names and hand gestures that Alma couldn't follow that both agreed that Rhode, Wisely and Allen were cousins- _full _cousins. Wisely added, "Seems like it's just me and Al, 'cause you're still in high school." And Rhode stuck her tongue out at him.

And with a small chuckle Alma motioned them both from the foyer- telling them to drop their bags next to the stairs, where Kanda and Allen's already were. Wisely even moved Tyki's.

And by the time they made it into the dining room- there was a large _whoop_ and Allen was laughing at whatever just happened.

"You were so counting," he chuckled. Tyki merely grinned right back, seated at opposite sides of the table- where he'd obviously kicked Lavi out. Kanda was now standing just to the right behind his white-haired boyfriend, watching him over his shoulder. He was only slightly shaking his head with a displeased smirk on his face. Everyone else seemed quite please with whatever had happened.

"Oh, I know you were too," Wisely called as he entered the room and the noise lowered a bit at the two white-haired men grinned at each other. "So don't try to blame it all on him- he's just a bit less honest about his cheating." Allen was now grinning while Tyki had turned his head to glare at his… _cousin_- Alma understood now why they just went with _cousin_.

And then they went around the room quickly the two Walkers taking the lead and introducing the people Allen had only known a few hours.

And now, glancing at the clock- Alma was a bit caught off guard to realize that it had gotten that late. It had been about dusk when the three cousins had arrived, and now it was dark out- even though it was only a bit after seven.

And suddenly as Lavi and Daisya were about to get into another tussle while Rhode smiled down at her phone next to them- glancing at the impending battle next to her with intrigued eyes- there was a crappy ring tone suddenly calling from somewhere in the room. And they all made to check their phones, other then that five people who seemed unbothered by it. Allen, Tyki, Wisely, Rhode and Kanda looked on as the rest of the room looked for their phones and pulled them out.

Lavi suddenly realized he didn't even have his and started for the living room after kicking Daisya for 'making him lose it'. Marie merely held his pocket and deduced it wasn't his. Froi mumbled something about the kitchen and began toward the door. Alma pulled his out to a black screen and shoved it back in, and then all eyes were suddenly locked on Lenalee who was by this point glaring at her small black and green device.

And with a angry sigh she answered it, put it to her ear, while leaving the room. "Yes, brother," was heard as she moved toward the hall. Kanda met Alma's eyes as the three month elder sighed.

"So," he began, as Allen turned to look at him, then back at his boyfriend's brother. "How's that working out?" Alma simply scoffed.

"Let's not talk about it," he relied quickly and Kanda merely smirked, while shaking his head a bit.

"Told ya so," The three month younger taunted. Alma's face fell as he pouted a bit.

"Go to hell." Kanda only chuckled a bit, making his brother look back at him to meet his teasing eyes.

_Well, that's new_.

"Kanda," Rhode was suddenly speaking, her fingers still tapping at the pad of her phone. "Are you coming to Lulu's?" And there was a pause, where the four other three other cousins were looking at her with the same look that asked 'Who are you texting so much?'- while Alma, Daisya, and Lavi who had just returned to the room where looking at her with looks that asked, 'Who's Lulu?' Kanda was just wondering why she was asking.

Allen then turned a bit to look back at him, "I told you- it's up to you." Kanda met his eyes and his eyes narrowed thoughtfully. Then he looked back at Rhode who was paying them no mind as she tapped her phone.

"I don't know," he answered then, "Why?" Rhode's shrug came immediately.

"Dad asked," she answered still not looking up.

"Who are you texting so much, 'cause I know it's not Cyril," Tyki finally asked as Rhode was still not looking up.

"Number two," she then answered just as bluntly. There were a few nods at this before Tyki sighed.

"Tell him I said happy birthday- though I'll probably hear from one of them tomorrow," the older man added. Rhode hummed.

"Me too," Allen threw in as Tyki motioned for another round of cards. Kanda seemed to be the only one of those that would recognize it to see Rhode throw a look at Wisely as he stood back near the door, only a few feet from the younger female- but far enough to matter. Wisely merely glared at her before rolling his eyes.

And the rest of the night continued in a steady downward motion. Froi ordered pizza a while later- Allen and Tyki both chipping in a fair amount for the three unexpected cousins. And eventually, after Lavi had left and Marie and Daisya had retreated to their rooms for whatever reason, Alma finally managed to ask about sleeping arrangements.

"I call the couch," was Tyki's two cents, which Rhode and Wisely seemed unbothered by.

"Is my room still a half-office," Kanda asked bluntly without looking up from the hand of cards where he sat across from Wisely as the four males- minus Alma- were playing, as both the elder Walker and Kanda watched for signs of cheating. Alma rolled his eyes as he nodded. "Is that hide-a-bed still in there?" Alma nodded to this too. "Good enough."

Lenalee who sat at the head of the table, texting her brother about coming home, merely smiled a bit. Alma openly looked at his brother blankly for a moment, before shrugging and dropping it. Wisely was the only cousin to wear a smirk, only Allen's small grin acknowledging the thought, even as he drew another card.

And before long, Lenalee was gone, Alma having shown her out and watched her enter the next house over. And by the time he'd gotten back, Kanda and Allen had left the dining room table where they'd been playing poker all day it seemed, and the other three cousins were settling down in their spots in the living room. Wisely had taken over the lazy-boy, Rhode the leather chaise, and Tyki- as promised- taking the couch.

And Alma Karma now noted- these cousins seemed to adapt rather quickly to chaos. Then with a small hum, he turned and began upstairs to bed.

Wednesday morning, Alma was surprised that he was up before Lenalee's morning text.

And dragging himself out of bed, into the bathroom and then on to the kitchen seemed normal. Until he got to the first floor and stopped in the entryway to the living room to let his brain wake up a little.

And if he had been more awake, he might have laughed at the marker scribbles Rhode was etching on Tyki's face. Or maybe even noticed Allen seated in the corner arm chair with his feet propped up on the stool and a laptop on his lap. Or maybe, just that it was still dark out. But the combination of the three had him awake, and yawning as he moved into the kitchen. Only to stop again in the next doorway and wonder if it was normal for Wisely and Kanda to glare so heatedly at each other.

And it continued for a moment before Wisely's shoulders sunk a bit in resignation. "I guess we'll just agree to disagree," the white haired man commented before taking a sip of his coffee and then turning to Alma just as Kanda did. _In sync_, he realized.

"Uh," he decided to voice after neither had said anything for a few moments, "Morning."

"Morning," Kanda replied, taking a sip of his coffee before throwing another glance at Wisely and picking up the other cup of coffee still on the counter next to him, Kanda moved passed Alma and out of the kitchen.

Wisely sighed, the chuckled a bit nervously, "Sorry; seems I've angered the baby-face a bit early." Alma tired to smile back- even laugh at the nickname. Because though he obviously didn't know Wisely well, even he knew when someone was obviously upset.

"Are you okay," he couldn't stop the question he hadn't planned on asking, and apparently from the stun he felt on his face right after. Wisely understood that, as his own stunned expression melted into a soft _tender_ smile- that Alma somehow knew he didn't show much.

"Not really," he answered with a gusty sigh, after a moment, "But I think it's best left at that." And then the white-haired cousin was sipping his coffee and following his brother out of the kitchen- _almost scurrying_, Alma noted.

Alma shrugged as he gathered his own caffeine and moved back through the door into the living room. Tyki was now gone from the couch, Rhode having taken over one end, while Wisely had moved into the other corner. Allen was still seated in the arm chair in the corner, a cup of coffee not-so-magically now in his hands as Kanda was sitting in lazy boy in front of where the arm chair was positioned. And with a small glance at his brother over the book Kanda was skimming through, Alma moved to the chaise and situated himself for a possibly interesting morning.

And then, after a moment Rhode was standing, purple cell phone once again in her hand and moving through the house and into the kitchen. And just as the kitchen door closed, Tyki appeared at the opposite door. There was an expectant look on his tired looking face, and without introduction both Wisely and Kanda tilted their heads to indicate the kitchen and Tyki was off again. There was a round of squeaks from the other room filtering through some girly laughter, and Alma grinned.

And suddenly Alma found himself once again noting things about Allen's family. From how Wisely's hand were covered with the long black sleeves of his shirt, which had holes for his thumbs to hook into. And he remembered how Rhode had been wearing arm socks all morning and last night. And Tyki even had white fingerless gloves on. Glancing back at where Allen was tucking into the corner, he noted that white-haired man was still wearing the pleather black and burgundy striped fingerless gloves, that only his black painted fingernails poked out of.

It was intriguing, Alma noted- But then again a lot of things about this family seemed 'intriguing'.

* * *

><p><em>Well, hello there.<em>  
><em>This is the bottom- it says hello.<em>

_(I scare myself sometimes...)_

_Anyway, I really want to thank the rather large number of people who seem to really enjoy this story and have reviewed on any chapter(s). I do my best to reply, but with working full time hours right now it's just been hard. So I apologize to anyone I missed and I will try to reply as much as I can. I so appreciate the love this story is getting._

_And a little tidbit- the lyrics at the top of the chapters may seem meaningless right now, but they won't remain that way. (Smiles and chuckles a bit.) Oh yeah, the things my brain cooks up are so exhilarating sometimes... (Dirty girl grin)_

_Thanks for reading, and until next time- your's;_  
><em>-Aseru<em>


	5. Over

*Messed up, but I fixed it...

_Hi. Chapter Five, finally._

_This took forever... I blame work and the story itself. Neither wanted to cooperate with me._  
><em>But anyway, here it is- I don't like.<em>

_See bottom for more._

* * *

><p>"<em>They said if you don't let it out<br>You're gonna let it eat you away  
>I'd rather be a cannibal baby-<br>Animals like me don't talk anyway…"  
><em>"The Calendar" -Panic! At The Disco

**XXX**

_**A-(Not So)-Sexual Man  
><strong>__Chapter the Fifth:  
><em>Over

* * *

><p>Rhode Kamelot would say- if asked- that right then she was content; a feeling that hadn't held her this captive for a good while at this point. And she would have believed it would stay that way- until moments after her purple phone vibrated in her pocket just after ten o'clock in the morning.<p>

Being as she was in a tickling match with Tyki right then, she took a moment to answer it. And just after the match was done, they both were grinning as her uncle went for a cup of coffee and she pulled her phone out- she felt perfectly content.

But five words changed that.

'_he broke up with me_'

No capital letters. No punctuation. And Rhode knew her cousin was hurting- probably hurting bad.

"What's wrong," Tyki was asking her instantly. Rhode was unable to answer, he eyes locked on the device in her hand- the white letters scrolled across the black background. Tyki seemed to not like her lack of response and with three long strides crossed Tiedoll's kitchen quickly and took the phone from her.

But Rhode was lost- every profanity in her vocabulary making work through her mind, all somehow having words that linked them together quite nicely.

"He did it on purpose," she found herself saying, "They weren't going to see each other again before he left- and he knew it." Tyki's eyes were reading and rereading the message, his face a mess of resignation.

"You can't say you didn't see it coming," was all he seemed willing offer. "Hell, we all know Dev did." And for once her uncle's golden eyes on her seemed to do nothing to comfort her.

"But he just let the pressure get to him," she tried to fight. But Rhode Kamelot of all people knew how hard it had been on them. She wasn't in much better of a position anymore- her vagina the only thing seeming to keep her out of water just a hot. "I wonder if Jas knows."

"Silly question," Tyki reminded her, as he passed the phone back to her, "Jasdero was probably the first to know- as always- and you would have been the second." And with a hum, Rhode had to agree.

"But on his birthday-"

"_But _two weeks before the most hectic day of his life so far- and then another seven months when they wouldn't see each other with out a million and three questions from the media- who are already asking far too many for the family's comfort," Tyki had to retort, with a heavy sigh. "As family I dislike the idea- simply because I how much it hurts Devitto. But as their producer and tour manager, I'm sad to say I'm thankful- we've just lost two-thirds of the media hassle we would have been getting for the next half year."

And Rhode could only pout to that.

_Didn't make it right._

**XXX**

As soon as Rhode and Tyki returned to the living room, Alma felt the air go stagnant. Rhode was unusually quite as she took a seat on arm of Kanda's chair. He watched his brother look at the girl with his usual quick retort on his tongue, but then he noticed the face she was making and Alma was mystified to watch the retort seemingly vanish. Then Kanda quickly pushed the textbook in his lap onto the end table next to his chair and in a graceful movement wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled the vacant-looking girl into his lap. Alma also noticed that Allen was no longer typing as he had been and instead was looking up at his cousin sitting in Kanda's lap.

But no one seemed to want to ask, he noticed. Wisely had looked up at acknowledge it, but said nothing. Tyki was keeping an eye on her, as he took the seat on the couch with the older Walker.

And the air was tense, so tense Alma wasn't exactly sure he was breathing. _Like cut it with a kni_-

And then his phone rang. Kanda was the first to pin him with a questioning look across the room. Pulling the device that was playing a small 16-bit sound out, he nearly rolled his eyes as soon as he read the front screen.

"Hello," he made sure to ask in a bored tone.

"I wanna go out tonight," Lavi was suddenly yelling in his ear. There was wind moving passed the phone and it nearly hurt Alma's head.

"And you're telling me this why," he had to ask now, though it was mostly teasing. Unlike Kanda, he actually enjoyed Lavi's company the majority of the time.

"'Cause I want you to go with me- and I know you got people over, so I figured I'd tell you first." A pause. "So, we're going out." Alma had to sigh, as his eyes lifted to meet with several quizzical gazes.

"I call you back, doofus," Alma replied after another sigh, and then without waiting for a response, he snapped his phone shut and turned again to meet the five questioning looks. "Lavi wants to go out tonight." There was a pause then in the room, where for the most part they all looked just confused.

"He does realize it's three days before Christmas, right," Kanda had to demand. "Wait, never mind," he correct himself before Alma could say anything, "It's Lavi- he wouldn't give a shit." Rhode chuckled at that and the staleness in the air seemed to lessen a bit.

"Well, yeah," Alma had to agree. "He didn't say what he wanted to do… But knowing him, it involves drinking to the point of being above the legal limit."

"Or _livable_," Kanda had to add. Alma sighed again.

"Or possibly livable."

"Sounds grand," Tyki suddenly concluded, his face lighting with a large grin.

"Down tiger," Allen was chuckling from the chair in the back of the room, once again back to speedy typing.

"There's a _Gate_ near here, isn't there," Alma heard Rhode ask, and his brain instantly short circuited.

"_Gate_?"

"Yeah," Allen was answering his cousin, "The 6th is on the other side of town- near Lulu's."

"I wonder if Maggie's in town yet," Wisely was wondering aloud suddenly before puling his slick looking white phone from his pocket.

And then the conversation went totally go over Alma Karma's head.

"She should be- Robin got in last night," Allen replied again.

"Robin's in town," Rhode was asking quickly turning on Kanda's lap to look back at the younger white haired man. Allen only looked up for a second to nod.

"Am I going to meet her this year actually," Kanda asked him in a seemingly board tone. Allen scoffed a bit before chuckling.

"If your _un_lucky."

"Oh, she's not _that _bad," Tyki was throwing it. "You should be more worried about Paul-"

"And Jude," Wisely added. "They can be jerks- but they're mostly cool." He was still tapping on his phone. "And Maggie's a hoot- just don't tell her that, she likes people to _think_ she's a bitch."

"Hard ass- _hah_, my ass," Tyki was chuckling at his own joke as he closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the back of the couch. "She's a powder-puff." There was a pause where both Allen and Wisely's fingers stopped typing and tapping and the three cousin's turned to look at the dark haired man. Tyki seemed to notice and cracked open one eye to look at them. "What?"

Allen only shook his head for a moment. Rhode was grinning crookedly. Wisely though, scoffed and shook his head, before looking back down at his phone, and muttering to himself, "Fag." Then Rhode had launched at first thing available at him- which happened to be Kanda's textbook. "Hey," was Wisely's surprised response, as it landed rather forcefully against his knee.

"Hey," was Kanda input, "That book cost a shit-ton- and was no where near pointy enough for that insult." Then he had picked up a glass ashtray from the end table next to where his book had been. "See this," he said handing it to Rhode who was chuckling at him oddly, "If you throw it hard enough to might break into little pieces-"

"_Kanda_," Allen was scolding from where he sat, once again back to typing and not even look up as he continued, "Please don't kill the pisser. Regardless of his recent asshole-ish-ness, I do still need him _alive_ to function most days." Kanda merely huffed before _thunk_ing the ash tray back onto the end table.

"_Damn_."

"So, wait-" Alma's brain decided to suddenly try to process again- "You were talking about a _Gate_?" Rhode was then looking at him as Kanda turned to give him a small sheepish smirk.

"Yep," she responded simply. "We mostly stick to them- makes life easier." Alma felt himself gulp.

He knew about the _Gate_s- high end dance clubs with high end restaurant style food and lounges in them, along with full service bars, that if they didn't have something would go get it- if that's what the swanky people who got in decided they wanted. The cover change alone was around a small fortune. They weren't your everyday clubs, and only the _High End_ of society usually managed to sneak in.

… And Alma was suddenly wondering about Allen's family- because if they 'mostly stuck to them,' he was wondering who these people were. And from the now off-put 'please don't ask' vibes he was getting from his nearly twin were any indication, Alma probably had a right to wonder.

"_Really_," was all he could seem to find to respond.

And so, when Lavi finally called back around eleven, Alma was given the task to telling his friend that they would be attending the 6th Gate on the west side of town. There was a long pause and Alma suddenly was having déjà vu.

"Are you fucking serious," Lavi suddenly screeched in his ear.

And that déjà vu was gone…

And by noon- they had all agreed that they were going. Alma and Lenalee would be riding with Allen and Kanda in Allen's CRX, while Daisya and Lavi were going to be riding with Tyki, Wisely and Rhode in Tyki's Element. Allen had then disappeared upstairs with Lenalee and Kanda to make a '_phone call_'. Lenalee had returned back down stairs a bit later with a goofy smile on her face and simply said, "We're set for six-thirty." And then how had been dropped as Alma, Daisya, Lavi and Lenalee all separated to get ready.

Wisely had chuckled at them scampering around, "You guys're act like this is a big deal." But none of them had said anything else. Lenalee was the only one to ask what they all wanted to know.

"How?" And Rhode had just looked at her blankly, before grinning and winking at the other girl.

"It's a secret."

**XXX**

"_Yuu_," Allen was scolding without lifting his eyes from the laptop in front of him.

"What," Kanda choose to reply in a quiet, but still somehow harsh voice, his hands still moving toward _illegal_ places- or that was what the other had dubbed his hip area (front and back had been specified), neck and chest for the week while they were with his family. Yuu Kanda did not agree.

"_Don't_," Allen added as Kanda knew his eyes were still scanning quickly over the document on the screen that had been taking far too much of his boyfriend's time for the last two days. Usually the week after finals they would be together for a few days before Allen would be forced back into his work. _Damn holidays_, was Kanda thoughts. "Kanda, seriously," the white-haired man continued, but he could hear the small whine that told him he was winning. "I have to get this typed before the twins' tour leaves."

And that made Kanda pause- a few thoughts running through his head at the speed of a train. His hand stilled where it was on the back of the other's thigh as he lay on his stomach on the hide-a-bed in Kanda's old room that Froi had converted into a half office. Unwillingly he lifted his head from where it had been ducked to place pointed pecks along the newly-exposed areas of Allen's back- that he'd left for display when he'd pushed up the gray shirt the other wore. And still unwillingly he sat back to straddle Allen's legs between his.

He saw Allen's gloved fingers stop editing the document and even without turning to look at him he knew Allen was totally focused on his sudden change in motive. "What wrong," Kanda heard him whisper. There was a slight tilt of his head as Allen waited for his answer.

This wasn't their problem so he'd talk about it without much prying. But Allen had explicitly been trying to stay out of this particular disagreement- asking Kanda to keep an eye on it. 'Because if they come to me it'll become a Family Issue- and I don't think any of us want that.' _Easier said than done_.

"They broke up," Kanda found himself saying regardless. It was bothering him, he wouldn't deny. It just seemed so easy for it to… _end_- just like that, _over_. Allen hummed a moment before there was a silence. Kanda noted Allen's slender, pale, fingers with their black painted nails didn't go back to typing. But over the other's shoulder, Kanda eyed the black and burgundy gloves on his fingers. He didn't like them, but he understood their purpose.

The members of the Walker Family liked their privacy- and it made people want to know them more. Allen and Wisely, along with Allen's sister- Robin- and their cousin Maggie had made a point to always stay out of the Media's light. Because with their Walker White hair, once known- they'd never be able to go back into the shadows. _At least not without a few bottles of hair dye a year_. But there was only one things that signified any and every member of Noah's family- the thick black tattoo they all had gotten on the backs of their hands seven years ago. It was their memorial- that was their explanation that was added to the things Kanda had already known.

He knew the facts, just like most of the rest of the public- but the familial parts had come later to him, the _personal_ part.

He knew it still hurt- but it also kept them close as a family.

But family was the problem here.

"I don't know why," Kanda continued after a moment, "And I'd rather not ask Dev." Allen merely nodded.

But then he was snapping the laptop shut and moving it to the edge of the bed, before moving his hip jus the right way so that Kanda was forced to sit up off the back of his knees- and then somehow without pulling his legs from between Kanda's had turned over and the younger, dark-haired man was suddenly straddling his hips. And that wicked smile was covered Allen's lips.

"What time it is," He asked as his hands began to work up to Kanda's shoulders, half-covered fingers quickly latching onto his shirt and pulling him down.

With a quick tilt of his head, Kanda answered, "Just after one."

That wicked smile grew a bit.

"Good," Allen noted, before lips meet and tongues immediately began to mingle.

"I thought," Kanda heard himself saying between kisses, "You didn't want to mess around while we were here." He felt that grin against his lips this time.

"This was your room right," Allen asked back as Kanda began the tiring task of unbuttoning the other's pants. But he paused to meet eyes at the question. There was no verbal response. "You were a virgin before college… right?"

There was a pause between them, where the devious grin on the white-haired man's face grew and the frown on the dark-haired one's face grew to match it.

"You're sick."

"Love you too, jerk face."

* * *

><p><em>Hiya...<em>

_I don't like this chapter- at all. I don't like how it turned out, or how anything was processed. If it's choppy that's because it was written in bits. Like literally, a word at a freaking' time... It didn't want to write itself unlike the- well, no that's not true. Other than the side-plot that you can visibly see now, none of this story wants to write itself. And the bits that do are like probably two or three chapters from now... (Sigh)_

_But anyway, there was a glimpse at a bit more of the family. Which I have now spent about three sheets of paper working up- but only because I kept messing up._

_But seriously, don't be surprised if this chapter gets reposted at a later date... I really don't like how it turned out._

_And in other news, the next chapter or two will be spent on the time Lavi had demanded they go 'out'- here meaning to the 6th Gate. (Did we all get the base reference there?)_

_Eh, anyway... I'm going to go do something productive now. ... Maybe get some sleep- that sounds necessary._  
><em>-Aseru<em>


	6. Holes

_Heya... (Both Notes on this chapter and kinda long, sorry.)_

_So this took a moment. But please do forgive- 'cause work is still crazy, going to get crazier and now I have some family problems to top it off with.  
>But this story... I doesn't wanna give up apparently, the muse is still running rampant in my brain. So AnsSM will just keep coming. (Smiles) And I hope that makes people happy.<em>

_This chapter was a bit difficult because I wasn't sure where to cut it off at. I was thinking about just writing all of the Gate part together, but it took too long to write this- and authors should always feed the rabid. (Grin)  
>Next chapter, you'll get to meet some more of the family (I can't wait to write Maggie :D), you only get a touch of anyone else in this one (more about this at the bottom). Eliade is in here though! (Happy dance)<br>God, coffee makes my day. (Smiles)_

_Another note, chapter five (the one before this) was the last one that will be only _Panic!_. This is a 'double header' chapter, 'cause I needed to put in a break. (Shrugs)_

_But, anywho. Go read the new-ness, but at the bottom I have some things to say, so read those too. (Smiles) Coffee Good._

* * *

><p>"<em>I've got my heavy heart to hold me down<br>Once it falls apart my head's in the clouds  
>So I'm taking every chance I got<br>Like the man I know I'm not…"  
><em>"Turn Off The Lights" -Panic! At The Disco

**XXX**

_**A-(Not So)-Sexual Man  
><strong>__Chapter the Sixth:  
><em>Holes

* * *

><p>At quarter till six, as instructed everyone had made their way into Tiedoll's living room. Tyki, Wisely and Rhode had been introduced to the brunette woman who had stopped over shortly before, then left after only a bit with Marie. The three had agreed the brunette woman- Miranda- seemed like a person who shouldn't be driving… Anywhere. At all.<p>

Then Alma and Lenalee had joined them in the living room, and Rhode had immediately stood and taken the other girls' hand and turned her around before pushing her back upstairs. Lenalee didn't protest. Alma tried. "Uhm," was his question as he turned back to the other two males.

"You're both way over dressed," Wisely replied immediately.

"Maybe you should change too," Tyki threw out. Alma then noticed that the two men on the couch had changed their cloths, but not to that great of an extent.

Wisely was now wearing a white short-sleeved tee with a small black and blue symbol on his chest, along with darker jeans than he was wearing before- though the same black and white scarf was trailed though the belt loops. His hair was let loose too, falling over his forehead and making his complexion look darker than before, as the white locks fell over his skin. Though he was still wearing gloves- black racing gloves similar to Allen's in that they didn't have finger tips, though Wisely's nails were painted a stark white as opposed to Allen's black. His feet, which were propped up on the coffee table, were even still clad in the same converse he had worn the day before.

Tyki was wearing a white short-sleeved button up, that still looked casual on him, with the only slightly loose dark gray jeans- that Alma had to note were lighter than Wisely's. His hands were still in gloves too- not a pair of black leather gloves that Alma could tell he had cut the fingers off himself. There was a black and red checker belt through the loops of his jeans too, that oddly seemed to suit him very well, especially with the silvery wallet chain looping around his left hip. Even with the black workmen boots on his feet, he looked more casual then any part of what Alma was wearing right then.

"Try t-shirt and jeans, seriously," Wisely added with a smirk. And with a sigh, Alma turned to go back up the stairs.

Twenty minutes and two tries later, Alma was finally allowed to stay down stairs- then clad in a simple black shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans and a pair of black sneakers on his feet. And just as he plopped down in the chair opposite Tyki, did Lenalee and Rhode rematerialize through the front door- and Alma had to wondered when they had left. Rhode more than skipped into the room with Lenalee sulking behind her. Rhode immediately plopped herself down in Wisely's lap, and the older Walker didn't seem to mind as he simply grinned at what Lenalee had shown back up in. Tyki glanced and chuckled as he looked back at the other female.

"Isn't that you're skirt, Rhode," Tyki asked quickly. The small girl smiled.

"Yep," Rhode replied in a chipper voice, a large smile on her face. "But it looks so good on her." Wisely was chuckling as he agreed- though the way he was appraising the still standing girl, made Alma weary.

"It does," the white-haired male agreed.

Alma turned back to his girlfriend with a frown at the other male's tone but had to agree anyway. The dark jean skirt with inward pink pleats, very visibly showcased Lenalee's legs. Especially with simple black strappy heels on, her legs looked amazing. There were three bangles on each of her wrist and in a pink and silver tones that matched the skirt, along with a slightly bright pink shirt that was partically covered with loose black vest. The only reassurance Alma got at that moment with two other men observing his girlfriend was that Lenalee was smiling sheepishly at him- which made Alma grin.

Then there was a quick clomping coming from the stairs. And suddenly Lavi and Daisya were racing into the room, the shorter hot on the red-heads heels. They weren't yelling yet, but Alma could feel it coming as soon as either slowed. The five in the living room simply watched as the two progressed around the house- into the kitchen, back out around the dinning room table, back though the living room and down the hall into the back hallway, around one of the room and right back around to do it again. Eventually Lenalee moved and took a seat, much to Alma's glee, in his lap. And Karma had to admit Lavi had learned how to not trap himself well.

"So," Tyki was suddenly saying, "Do they do this a lot."

"All the time," Alma and Lenalee answered at the same time.

"It's a game to them," Lenalee added.

But then there was a much more subdued clomping coming from the stairs. And then Alma was slightly mystified to admit Kanda looked different with his hair down, even though it was still tied at the base of his neck. And in the simple white shirt with a black button up open over it, a pair of slightly tight dark jeans and only his socks for now- he defiantly looked casual.

And Allen looked about the same, with a gray long sleeved button up, his fingerless gloves, the same pair of washed-out blue jeans he had been wearing earlier- Allen did look quiet casual. And just then Lavi and Daisya whizzed by- leaving Allen gaping at his cell phone in his hands before he looked up after a moment. And with a simply reflex Kanda had tripped Daisya making the older face-plant into the carpet, and Lavi stopped just on the other side of the room.

"Stop being annoying, dipshits," Kanda growled at them instantly.

"Wow," Lenalee was suddenly commenting, "I missed you." And Alma had to chuckle. But Alma noticed that Allen was looking at Daisya oddly as he lay on the floor.

"Are you really going to wear that," the white-haired male asked the still stunned mess on the floor. Kanda merely glanced at him then to Lavi on the other side of the room- who was still watching Daisya for a reason to begin running again- then to Lenalee and Alma. And after observing all four, he turned to Tyki.

"I'm guessing you fixed those two, but why not the other two," the question was blunt and monotone, pointing out that Kanda didn't really care. Tyki merely grinned.

"They wouldn't slow down long enough." Kanda just nodded in understanding.

"Go change," He then added looking at Lavi, and hitting Daisya in the back of the head with his foot. "Street clothes- and don't take forever."

"Can I just borrow a shirt," Lavi was asking, looking between Alma and Kanda, "'Cause you know if I go home, Panda's not gonna let me leave again… And I don't really want to," he finished as his lips curled up in an open show of dismay.

"Take one of mine," Alma agreed, "I doubt Kanda brought enough to let you steal one of his." Lavi agreed with a nod and Lenalee stood as Alma lead the red-head up stairs with Daisya peeling himself off the floor and grumbling after them. And then Lenalee was left alone with the five of them.

"Wise, did you get a hold of Maggie," Allen was asking suddenly, looking at his cousin as he slid his phone into his pocket. The other white-haired male only shook his head from where it had landed on Rhode's shoulder. Allen merely hummed before glancing at Tyki. "And what are you grinning about?" Tyki chuckled as he shook his head.

"Nothing- nothing at all."

And the room slipped into a bit of silence. Kanda and Allen reminding standing in the archway toward the foyer as they waited for Alma, Lavi and Daisya to reappear.

Then out of the blue, Rhode suddenly turned to glare at Wisely's head still on her shoulder. "I'm mad at you," she told him bluntly. The older man behind her simply lifted his head just enough to give her a frown, before rolling his eyes and sighing as he slumped back into the couch. Then they were quiet again.

But before long the three reappeared at the bottom of the stairs. "Good," Alma asked looking at Tyki and Allen. Tyki merely grinned while Allen smiled a bit and nodded once before motioning to the door.

"Shall we," he asked and there was a mutual agreement, as they all began toward the door and out of the house. Allen quickly worked his workmen's on at about the same fast pace as Kanda. Once outside they split into groups. Lenalee and Alma were stashed into the back of Allen's CRX, while Lavi and Daisy were put in the back seat of Tyki's black Element with Rhode between them.

Then the car was starting and Allen was shifting the five-speed quickly to back out of the driveway, before quickly shifting into drive and navigating the small black car quickly down the road as Tyki's black element pulled out quickly from the curb to follow.

The car was quiet for a while, and Lenalee was sure she and Alma were watching the two in the front closely. Kanda was sitting low in the bucket seat, eyes watching the scenery outside, being unusually quiet. Allen seemed to notice too, after a moment and took a few moments to glance at him. They both watched as the white haired man's right hand reached over and tucked into the other's thigh- and both observed how Kanda seemed to pay no attention to it.

"Don't think about it," Allen told him quickly and Kanda merely hummed in acknowledgement before reaching up and switching on the radio, before grabbing a device out of the cup holder just under the radio, still not taking or swatting off the hand in his lap, nor commenting when Allen would remove it to shift only to tuck it back right after.

It was odd, Alma thought, to see something so foreign happening with the person he thought he knew. But Kanda had never talked about Allen- or anyone, _ever_, romantically- aside from one mention when they were in the eleventh grade that he could remember, where Kanda asked him his views on homosexuality- which Alma had shrugged and mentioned that 'it happens'. He still felt the same… But now, knowing his brother had been with Allen for- at least a while- it seemed odd. And come to think of it he didn't even know how long it had been.

And then suddenly the quiet radio had changed songs and was suddenly blasting bass heavy music, through a rather remarkable sound system. Allen looked away from the road long enough to pass Kanda a puzzled gaze as he worked around the entrance ramp onto the expressway. Kanda only lowered the music enough to hear him- the altered voice of the male singer dimming only a bit.

"I didn't know this was on there yet- that's all," Allen commented, shaking his head as he merged into traffic before replacing his hand back into Kanda's lap.

"Is this Double Dud," Lenalee was suddenly asking, leaning up toward the front a bit. There was a pause from the front seat, as Alma could see the other two exchange glances.

"Yeah," Allen answered back in a hesitant voice, his right hand lifting enough to slap Kanda's chest. Alma was intrigued, though. He'd heard Lenalee mention the up and coming band and he knew she'd mentioned the band's CD, telling him how much she wanted it- but she'd said it wasn't supposed to come out until Christmas Day.

"How did you get this," she was suddenly shrieking. Alma saw the death glare Allen was suddenly giving his brother. Kanda looked a little annoyed back, as Allen kept his eyes glancing between the other and the highway, as he continued quickly weaving though traffic. Alma momentarily wondered if he was speeding, too. But the glaring match continued and Lenalee looked unyielding- her eyes wide and mouth in danger of squealing again- it _was_ her favorite band anymore.

"You put it on," Allen was suddenly pointing out as both hands were now secure on the steering wheel and his eyes pinned to the road.

"He works in the business," Kanda was suddenly answering, his eyes still glaring at his boyfriend. Allen merely scoffed, his eyes still dancing between the mirrors, and suddenly- even with the fast paced, heavy based music the air was tense.

"Don't glare at me. It was _you're_ idea, and _you_ put it on- equals _your_ fault, babe," Allen was suddenly ranting and Lenalee was quickly back in her seat right, as a much slower song was then playing and the front seat was now graveyard quiet.

"You could have stopped me," Kanda was sulking, Ipod still in his hand as he slumped back into his seat. Allen immediately scoffed in reply and the quiet was back. "Bitch," Kanda was adding after a tense moment. Allen chuckled back then.

"Dipshit," Allen threw back, and a new song was the playing and the white-haired man's hand was back along Kanda's thigh. And then, everything was back to right- the air clearer and a mid-tempo song now playing. Lenalee, Alma noted, was bopping her head along with the notes, soaking it all in. "I'll burn it for you if you would like, Lena," Allen was suddenly telling her, reach up to the dash to turn the sound down and make Kanda glare at it.

Lenalee was instantly attentive. "Would you?"

"Sure," Allen was chuckling back. "I work for Ark Records- as we get some freebee's every now and then. It's no problem." Alma had to look and make sure she wasn't drooling.

"Oh my god- that would be amazing," Lenalee instantly replied, "I've been hooked-"

"_Hooked_," Alma had to add regardless of the slap it got him.

"-Since I heard _'Here'_**(1)** on the radio a few months ago." Allen had a nice crooked grin for that.

"It's a good song," he replied. And with a sideways glance Allen fell silent, his hand tucked against Kanda's thigh until he had to merge off the highway a few miles later, and a grin securely on his lips.

They were interesting, Alma noted, the different sides of Allen Walker.

* * *

><p>"<em>I don't know what you did<br>But you got me to fall for you  
>And I know that its stupid<br>But you know that I try…"  
><em>"Two Weeks In Hawaii" -Hellogoodbye

* * *

><p>But if pulling up to the front of the 6th Gate, wasn't intimidating- Alma wasn't sure what was. The CRX was left running as Kanda quickly opened his door and pulled the seat forward for Alma and Lenalee to get out, as Allen took his Ipod- which Alma realized was actually and Iphone- and stood to do the same, letting the valet driver get in quickly after him. Tyki took a moment to pull in after him, shaking his head as the five other's piled out and the second valet driver took his position and drove the Element after Allen's black CRX. All under the gaze of the party-goers in line who were glaring at them, probably hoping to scare them to the back of the line, or creep into their good graces and get in faster with them.<p>

But none of this seemed to affect Allen's family, or even less, Allen himself. And quickly all nine of them were gliding inside, the bouncers taking quick glances to remember them.

But once inside, Allen made sure they all followed him toward the bar, Tyki and Rhode mentioning along the way that they needed to get out their IDs. The three cousins and Kanda quickly maneuvered them to an inlet near the end of the bar, while Allen made quick track to the long, neon yellow and red lit bar and speaking to the large woman behind it. She was quickly ignoring the other patrons around the edge to disappear into a back room only to reemerge a moment later and after a quick nod, resume her work.

They were left to chat amongst themselves, no one really taking the initiative to talk first, all just kind of soaking in the atmosphere. Tyki, Rhode and Wisely remained awkwardly quiet- Kanda looking over at them every now and them only to shake his head and look away again. Lavi and Daisya were openly gaping at some aspects of the club, while Alma and Lenalee were taking it in in a much more private way.

Then suddenly Rhode was glancing at her phone before with a cross look toward her cousins she quickly slipped off into the crowd. Tyki and Wisely were both looking after her oddly. Then Kanda seemed to jump before pulling his phone out of his pocket and glancing at it. Then he was frowning and heading toward the bar where Allen was now being joined by a slender blond woman.

"Why," Wisely was suddenly sighing, "Do I feel like this night is about to get flushed?" Alma turned to meet the bland look on the elder white-haired man's face just in time to see Tyki shrug and hum a bit in agreement.

"Perhaps it is," Tyki was suddenly agreeing before nodding off into the club. Alma could visibly see Wisely turn toward where the other man was indicating before moving to do the same. He could hear Wisely sigh as his eyes landed on the dark skinned male who looked no older than twenty and was glaring at Wisely with the intensity of a raging dust cloud- his glaring hazelnut eyes only made worse by the nicely done line of black eyeliner, even as his thin lips were pulled back in a tight frustrated frown.

"Fuck," he could hear Wisely groan, as Tyki was suddenly chuckling.

"Oh, irony," the older man was laughing at the same time, "_You tease_."

"Shut the fuck up, Tyki," Wisely bit back quickly.

And then- "Holy shit," Lenalee was adding, "Is that Devitto Bell?"

"Oh, for _the love of God_," Wisely was instantly growling before stocking off in a random direction.

"Don't get lost," Tyki laughed, waving playfully after him.

Then suddenly Kanda was back and glaring in the direction Wisely had gone, before turning to the four who were still a bit mystified. "Ignore that," he instructed off handedly, while motioning for them to follow him toward the bar, Tyki following for whatever reason. Allen was doing something on his iPhone as they reached him, and he said nothing passed glancing up at the tall, slender blond woman who was now standing on the other side of the bar. The blond though smiled at them.

"Hello," she greeted in a soft but sleek voice, her pink lips turning up with a slight, tired smile. "I'm Eliade, and I'm the manager of the sixth gate, along with the fifth and 10/11." Then she was looking down at the iPad that was tucked in her hands against the bar, and looking over something. "Are they all going under you Allen," she then asked without looking up. Allen though immediately looked up from his phone and the words he had been scrolling over.

And only after a contemplative pause did he look back at Tyki. "If I put Lavi and Daisya under your name, you won't kill me, right?" Tyki merely smirked before rolling his eyes as way of answer. Then he was glancing at the four as Kanda moved to stand on the other side of him. "The girl and this one," he instructs motioning to Alma for Eliade, "Go on mine. The other two under Tyki's." The blond merely nodded for a moment before looking back down at the iPad.

"Can I have your IDs," she was then asking all three. And having already been instructed the four simply went with it, passing their IDs off to the woman.

But in her head, Lenalee was ticking off the things that weren't adding up so far tonight, and the list was getting pretty long.

Like how Allen worked for Ark, but a simple employee wouldn't have been given the new Double Dub CD yet- since even presales had been selling out. The new band, which she had seen a member of tonight, was beginning a tour through the states before they'd be heading over seas to Europe for a few more shows- most of the earlier shows that were on sale now, were already sold out.

Like how a prestigious place like any Gate- which are all owned by Ark Records- would just let him walk into, and then send their general manager to meet and spend time coordinating things just for him.

Then Lenalee watched as Allen quickly turned his iPhone toward the blond woman and her eyes quickly lifted to appraise what was one it, before nodding curtly and looking back at the iPad. "Send that to him- he's been throwing a fit trying to find it." Allen merely hummed before turning his phone back around and tapping at it a bit more. Kanda wasn't even paying attention to the exchange, his eyes looking out over the club- seeming to be searching.

Like how when Allen's cousin had seen Devitto Bell- the bass player for Double Dub- Wisely had stalked off after a mere comment of his name. Or how Rhode had disappeared a before that and still hadn't come back.

And Lenalee was gonna take a chance- glancing at Lavi where he stood on her other side from Alma and seeing that appraising gaze- which she was sure wasn't wrong and say something was definitely up.

There were just so many parts of Allen Walker's story that had holes. And Lenalee was wondering who exactly this man that could keep the previously a-sexual Yuu Kanda so attentive was.

* * *

><p><em>Bottom! Right here!<em>

_Alright, so that other stuff._

**_(1)_**_- Here [In Your Arms], is by Hellogoodbye. It's good, go listen. (Smiles)_

_**[Attn:vampire-charmer-101]**_

_I was asked, via Review, about Allen's arm. It's not really a secret (giggles), but it is part of the story. His whole arm is not black or red. The red arm, I have never included in a story, because the disfiguration card is a bit that only fits in stories... that aren't like this. There are markings on his arm- he does cover them for a reason._

_There are some things about the family that will get messy in the next chapter.  
>But I wanted to point out that Devitto (which is what I will always call him) was written with the surname Bell, as in Lulu Bell- and say it wasn't an error. It's long and convoluted to readers at this point, but it will be explainedlaid out in the bit after this Gate part. Cause for a (really, really long) chapter this story will switch to first person and Dev's gonna tell us a story. It's my side-plot. (Smiles) I already started writing it... It's long.  
>I like the time jumping- can we tell. (Smiles) I feel it adds intrigue.<em>

_And at this point, the morning coffee and concussion are making my brain and finger spill secrets.  
>So review- I like hearing for all of you, makes me feel wonderful. So do that. (Grins)<em>

_Thanks,  
>-Aseru. <em>


	7. Natural

_Hey._  
><em>Took me a moment, nei? And I do apologize for that, and any reviews I didn't get a reply to to, : I tried._

_Anywhos._  
><em>So in this bit, we get to meet another bit of the family as well as my side-plot poking it's head about some more. Which- by the way- there will be 2-ish chapters after this that I will probably force feed you guys tomorrow. As I have the day off work so far, andddd... it's already written actually. (Shrugs) It's because of those little boys that I have been so distracted from this, Yullen-y Goodness(!) and the, you know, actual plot.. (Huffy laugh) Yeahhhh.<em>

_But yeah. I'm pretty pooped..._  
><em>Onward- plot! (Which there is actually some of in this one.)<em>

* * *

><p><em>"I swear that I'm not kidding<br>We're just looking to fit in  
>With all the other answers<br>Questions never confirmed  
>States that keep us far apart<br>Track the beating of my heart  
>Mark the places in my book<br>With photographs we never took…"  
><em>"Shimmy Shimmy Quarter Turn" -Hellogoodbye

**XXX**

_**A-(Not So)-Sexual Man  
><strong>__Chapter the Seventh:  
><em>Natural

* * *

><p>"So, Allen." Lenalee was suddenly dumbfounded to hear her boyfriend talking to the white-haired man now sitting across from them. Kanda had said he was going to the bathroom, but they were all aware he was taking a while. "How long have you been with Kanda?" This seemed to make the man stop- and then his brow was knit as he thought about it.<p>

They'd been shown to a back part of the club, with high backed tables that would divide them from any other party, but six booths had been emptied, and they were now in the back corner, so the next two booths forward we empty as well as across the aisle from them. Tyki had wondered off with Lavi and Daisya with promises of alcohol and notes to bring them back alive. Rhode and Wisely had yet to turn back up, and now Kanda was lost in the bathroom- leaving Lenalee and Alma some 'alone time' with Allen. He didn't really seem like he minded though.

"Um, well," the white haired man began, pushing his drink aside to cross his arms on the table as he continued to think about the question that shouldn't have been _this_ hard. "I guess it's actually been a year now," Allen began, and Lenalee could feel the shock rolling off Alma- it was kind of surprising, "But we didn't actually do anything for it. He had finals and stuff was crazy at work." Allen's silver eyes were then looking at them innocently, though the small smirk on his lips told that they were lying. "Why do you ask?"

Lenalee had to chuckle- he was obviously as bothered by them not having known as Alma was about not having known. "Did you even know _we_ existed," she found herself asking. Allen nodded immediately.

"It's been a war for a while," he answered.

"What's that mean," Alma asks, trying to work out the unhappiness now involved. Allen merely smiled a bit at the other male.

"I understood why he didn't want me to 'have to meet you'- but I've wanted to for a while." Lenalee found herself trying to understand that. Allen seemed to notice- and with a resigned noise he began to fiddle with the straw of his soda. "He told you that I work for Ark," He began, his face then pulling back in an odd frown. "That wasn't a _lie_, but not _the whole_ truth either, I guess." They were both attentive. "Actually-."

But Allen suddenly looked out of the booth and his eyes narrowed for a moment before quickly snapping open and then he was smiling- a giant smile that made both of their stomach turn to butterflies. Then he was standing and moving to meet that woman that quickly met him at the end of the booth. And both Lenalee and Alma could recognize this woman- and it hit them like a ton of bricks.

Magnolia Walker was a small woman- comparable to how Rhode would look in a few years, even if they didn't share blood. But there was a difference, as Maggie also carried the Recessive-Walker-White gene- one of the four. And against her tanned skin, with her soft brown eyes and flowing white hair- no one could see Maggie once and ever forget her. And she had the voice of a _god_.

"Hey kid," she was giggling even as Allen easily lifted her from the ground in a bear hug and then lowered her back down to smile at her again.

"Wise said he couldn't get a hold of you," Allen was comment then and Maggie only smiled.

"Yeah, but I got his message," she replied, "Where's Doll-Face?" Allen only groaned.

"Probably talking to Dev," Allen answered after a moment turning back to the booth, "Maggie this is Lenalee Lee, and Alma Karma- the friend and just older brother. And please stop calling him Doll-Face, you know he hates it." Maggie merely giggled, leaning forward to shake hands, instantly just as polite as Allen had been earlier.

"Magnolia Walker," she greeted.

"No shit," Alma accidentally slipped and after a brief pause Maggie turned to her cousin.

"You didn't tell them yet, did ya?"

"He didn't want to," Allen responded.

"Fuckin' Doll-Face," Maggie threw in with a quick roll of her eyes and Alma had to smirk. "Mind if I sit with ya?" Both Alma and Lenalee shook their head and motioned for her to. She quickly slid into the side of the booth were Allen had been sitting alone. "But seriously," she began again as Allen sat, and he sighed, "You guys have been fighting about this for _months_. And he says 'sure, but tell 'em yer somebody else?'" While commenting her voice had dropped into a dull male tone, then right back to her normal. "That's _bull_shit." Allen merely sighed. But then Maggie fell quiet, suddenly turning to Allen after a second, "You hear?"

Allen nodded back, "Yep."

"Awesome," the elder Walker agreed with an eye roll. "I need a drink." Allen immediately laughed at her.

"Always do." Maggie merely rolled her eyes as she pulled out her phone to send a text, even as she began to talk again.

"So," she glances up, then back down her maple colored eyes seeming to glow, "You're Doll-Face's brother?"

"Doll-Face," Alma momentarily muses, "Suits him." Lenalee snickers next to him. "And yes, I am." Maggie nods finishing the text before shoving the cell back into her small clutch.

"Oh, Allen," she turns toward the younger man, pulling at the white lace gloves on her fingers. "I finally got them finished." Allen chuckles as he pulls out her hand.

"About time," he adds before Maggie's hand was out on display and Alma and Lenalee were both watching intently. On the back of the woman's hand was a black outlined star, two points just below her index and ring finger, while the top was places at the end of her hand, the other two points toward the edges of her hand. Drawn into the center was an outlined rose, with detailed black petals.

And it looked familiar to them- in Lenalee's mind now connecting what she'd heard about the Walker/Kamelot family. The entire family had gotten the black outlined stars on the back of their hands a few years ago- everyone knew that about the family. It was one of the reasons that the Bell brothers made such a scream when they put out their first album.

"The other one the same," Allen asks the other Walker after a moment. Maggie grins as she nods.

"Dad loved his roses." Allen merely nodded in agreement, but didn't have time to respond as another voice suddenly joined in.

"Always. Adam kept study of vines and Mana a living room of rose bushes." And Lenalee wouldn't fight that her eyes popped halfway out of her skull, as this voice joined in from the end of the booth. Because when she turned to look, standing at the end of their table was Jasdero Bell.

If anyone were to ask his family, most would say Jasdero Bones/Bell is a introvert with a loaded pistol of aggression. But to any fan who sees him perform as a lively vocalist and keyboard player he's an outgoing, open person. But all would agree, he looked amazing at either. The younger of the Bell brother's eyes were just a few shades lighter than his twin. But the stark difference between Devitto's black hair and Jasdero's sunshine blond were a long standing difference- in color and length. He hadn't had his hair above his shoulders since he was three, and on this night- where he stood at the end of the table, a few feet from Lenalee Lee- his waist length hair was pulled into small braids along his head and down his back, led though a large tie at the nape of his neck.

Lenalee noted the comfortable fit white button up with light pink pinstripes, loose light blue jeans that were held up with an oddly vibrant pink belt. But more so she noticed Jasdero's hands. The black bracelets around his wrists and the exposed black stars tattooed onto the backs of his hands, outlines of Halloween cut out trees in them, each reflections of the opposite.

"What's up," Allen was asking him quickly. Jasdero's smile faded a bit.

"Dev took off- Wise, too." Then he paused, looking at the table and then back toward the rest of the club. "Where are Rhode and Kanda- they said they'd meet me back over here?"

"Haven't seen them yet," Allen answered as they noted a slim brunette waitress making her way toward them, and then watched as she stood at the end of the table to put the single drink on her tray in front of Maggie.

Jasdero finally broke the silence, speaking quickly, "I'm Jas, by the way- if you didn't know. You're Baby-Face's right?"

"Baby-Face," Alma was immediately commenting, "What's with all the -Face names?" Allen was shrugging immediately.

"He's adorable," Maggie had to answer with a quick laugh.

"Jas- Alma Karma, Kanda's next older relation, and his girlfriend Lenalee Lee. And no, we don't really need to point out who you are, dum-dumb," Allen tackled the introductions quickly and Jasdero merely chuckled as he, in Walker fashion, quickly shook hands with Alma and nodded to acknowledge Lenalee in time.

But Lenalee blushed and Jas quickly winked to his cousin and lit his lips into a Bones Brother smirk, "And that's all thanks to you, Music." And in her mind, Lenalee paused, her memory instantly latching onto the title inside Ark Records that had been signed onto every album produced by the company in the last five year-

"Oh," Maggie was suddenly announcing, "There they are."

And sure enough a grumpy looking Kanda with two drinks in hand, along with Rhode in similar stance were making their way to the table. Kanda didn't say much in the way of greetings as her placed the refilled soda on the table in front of Allen and slid into the booth next to him. Jasdero took the drink Rhode handed him and pulled up a chair as she slid in next to Lenalee.

And as Kanda, Allen, and Jasdero quickly began into a nameless story, Lenalee pulled out her phone to send a text.

* * *

><p>From <em>Sister<em>:  
>Hey. Who's Music?<br>To:  
><em>Red, <em>_Crybaby_

* * *

><p>Alma took the initiative and already had his phone out and merely looked at it with a confused glare before glancing at her and shaking his head.<p>

* * *

><p>From <em>Crybaby<em>:  
>Change my name in your phone. Please?<br>To:  
><em>Sister<em>

* * *

><p>Lenalee merely stuck her tongue out at him before giving him a peck as Alma continued to sulk.<p>

But they both waited for the text from Lavi. Even as the light conversation turned to holiday plans and Kanda started to grumble more. Both noted though that he was watching them carefully.

By the time Lavi replied, Kanda had his phone out and was texting one of them.

* * *

><p>From <em>Red<em>:  
>In the context that I'm pretty sure you mean, 'Music' was the title that the 'chairman' who took over Ark choose to name himself. The Media speculated for a while that he was probably multiple people because the mass of things that went though his hands would have meant he had no other life. Panda had a theory that they were amultiple Walker(s) though. Neah Walker, the second oldest of the brothers, was nicknamed The Musician when he was still performing, way back when.  
>Why?<br>To:  
><em>Sister<em>

* * *

><p>"Jesus, he texts fast," Alma commented in a whisper over her shoulder as they read.<p>

"Well, that solves that mystery," Lenalee had to comment back.

"What mystery," Rhode whispered over the other shoulder, causing both Lenalee and Alma to jump. Lenalee quickly snapped her phone shut, noticing how all their eyes were on them. Then Alma's phone went off.

* * *

><p>From <em>Mugen<em>:  
>You could just ask. He'd answer you.<br>To:  
><em>Crybaby<em>

* * *

><p>Alma had to chuckle a bit nervously.<p>

Rhode found herself giggling, as she twirled the red straw of her drink between her fingers, "They're talking about you Allen."

And even at the news, Allen continued to smile brightly. "I know."

"Oh, Allen," Maggie was once again announcing, her face suddenly taking on a wicked gleam, "Have you seen Bird yet?" And then suddenly Jasdero was laughing oddly.

"Oh god- Maggie, don't start."

"No, I'm serious Jas- shut the fuck up," then she was turning back to Allen, "Have you?" Allen was smiling wearily, shaking his head.

"You know I haven't been to the house yet," He stated slowly, "Why?"

And then Jas was laughing again while Maggie just continued to grin. "Oh, no reason- I don't want to be the barer of bad habits."

"Magnolia," Allen taunted slowly, and Maggie merely shook her head.

"She told me not to say anything."

"You already fuckin' did," Jasdero felt the need to point out. "Birds gonna pluck your petals, Flower." Maggie had to scoff at that.

And Lenalee wondered how it was that even her scoff sounded like a musical noted and even Jasdero's cussing sounded so natural-

"I'll clip her fuckin' wings."

-And combinations of the two sounded even better.

* * *

><p>"<em>Driving home tonight<br>__I didn't see the light  
><em>_I was just watching you sleeping shotgun  
><em>_I could have crashed the car…"  
><em>"Finding Something To Do" -Hellogoodbye

* * *

><p>Lavi Bookman, was perplexed. Because even three drinks in, he was usually thinking a lot clearer than this.<p>

But there was just so much he didn't get- so many pages that seemed to just be blank. He'd gotten it, shortly after arriving to the _Gate_- and seeing Devitto Bell with Mimi Aki, and then Wisely Walker stomping off, and then finally witnessing a bit of the verbal fencing match that the two had had in the back parking lot of the club. He'd gotten a lot more than he had to begin with anyway.

Wisely Walker, the only biological son of Adam and Joann Walker- he'd been sleeping in Alma's living room last night. With Rhode Kamelot, the only daughter of Cyril and Trisha Kamelot- Cyril, who was the younger and only adoptive, son of Noah Walker. And then Allen-Fucking-Walker. The only son of Neah and Sofia Walker, younger brother of Robin Walker- he was Yuu-fucking-Kanda's boyfriend. ('Cause Lavi was not fucking blind- and they _were_ together.) _How_ had he missed this?

"You look perplexed, Red."

And _that_! Tyki-fuckin'-Mikk. The brother of Trisha Mikk-Kamelot who, when she passed, was adopted by Cyril Kamelot, making him both Rhode's uncle and brother. How had he missed _that_?

"Yep- _perplexed_- that's defiantly the word for it."

"Want some help," Tyki asked, even as he took another sip of the water he'd switched to drinking as soon as he'd found out that Wisely had jumped ship. But the calm in his eyes was overcast by that gleam that to Lavi's Bookman brain shouted '_Haha_! _Got'cha good_!' and he wanted to punch the overly-attractive, seven year older man in the chin.

"Yeah- sure," he found himself answering anyway.

Damn that Bookman Recollection.

* * *

><p>"<em>I could see our fingers all intertwined<br>__With all your wrinkles perfectly suiting mine  
><em>_Oh, somewhere down the line…"  
><em>"Finding Something To Do" -Hellogoodbye

* * *

><p><em>Bottom! S<em>co_re!_

_So yeah. I had to add that last little lyric as a little Lucky treat. Someone asked me about Tyki getting some love- which was always part of the plan. But that's gonna be a lower plot than my side plot- 'Cause that side plot rapes my brain._

_Hehe, Maggie's a Drama Queen- always making problems. (Smirks) And I don't know about you guys, but I actually text with good grammar. I've actually had friends tell me they don't like texting me because I do and it makes them feel stupid. I laugh, I laugh a lot. (Grin)_

_As a little note, I wanted to ask a question. I never watched the anime to the point the twins would actually make it in. I think they may have for like, two lines- but I don't really remember. Anyway, if you did- Who's voice was deeper, Jas' or Devi's? At this point, it just for curiosity's sake- I can't really change the mass of things I have on them already, but I was curious.  
><em>_[Hint: Devitto's more Panic!, -while Jasdero's got Hellogoodbye covered. The next bits of Dev Recollection will branch out to other members of the family, but so far that's all you've seen. (Grin)]_

_But yeah, anyway. I'm gonna post this and then give it a once over to fix stuff. (Smiles) Reviews make me want to be a better person. ... (Smiles)_  
><em>-Aseru<em>

**_PS: Ohmygod, how did I forget this part!_****  
><strong>_I left out the whole 'who the hell is Maggie' Part!  
>Well, in the manga, we have yet to see much action from the 2nd, 6th, 7th, and 13th Noahs. They've all be in a single panel, at least, but as far as 'what do they do, how do they act' not much. So, I've taken so liberties. (Grimace) Kinda. We've seen some from the 6th, Fiidora, but I call him Finny Walker. And we've seen some from the 7th, Maashiima (Pity)- His name is Paul, or Paulie, and doesn't have a huge role in this. But, the 2nd, Toraido (Judge), we haven't seen any of, past the one panel, same with the 13th, Maitora, which is where I'm taking liberties.<br>Finny has a larger part due to that he's in the same family as Wisely and the twins. Paulie, Jude and Maggie- who I took form Maitora, are all Mana's, Maggie being his only actual child... But I'll get in to that in the flashback bit.  
>But yeah, I totally meant to put that here. :  
><em>_Sorry, :P  
>-Aseru <em>


	8. Brothers, 1

_Hi. (Grin)  
><em>_SidePlot? Go! (Giggles)_

_See ya at the bottom._

* * *

><p>"<em>I didn't mean to make you feel out of place<br>__By the comments on your clothing or the makeup on your face  
><em>_I didn't mean to preempt the chase…"  
><em>"I'm Afraid Of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" -Murder By Death

**XXX**

_**A-(Not So)-Sexual Man  
><strong>_Side the First:  
><em>Brothers, 1<em>

* * *

><p>Would you think it was weird if I told you I've been in love with my brother, since before he was my brother?<p>

I mean, I have my actual brother, Jasdero- but when mom got married, when we were eight, we got two others. But even then, we'd already known Wisely and Finny for a while. And for as long as I could remember, I'd been in love with this man- Adam's only real son.

But back then it was a joke- the adults would laugh about how I would run from my mom every time we stopped over and immediately run to look for him if he wasn't right there. No one really thought that much of it back then.

But then mom and Adam got married. I was too young then to understand what was really happening.

My mother had been friends with Adam since they were young- his first wife, Wisely's mother, had been her best friend. They'd gotten a lot closer after Joann died in the accident.

My father had been a friend of their's for a while- but he was a deadbeat who took off as soon as he found out she was pregnant with us. Like I said, _deadbeat_.

But when my mother, Abigale, found out she had a tumor in her head, Adam- in one of his ever-generous moods said without missing a beat that he would take us in when she was no longer able.

But it was no big secret that raising the both of us had put a lot of strain on my mother, physically and financially. And when the hospital bills got to be too much and mom stopped going to her check-ups, I understood- even as a seven year old- it wasn't good. Wisely was the one I told- and he immediately took me to tell Adam, using a guilt trip and all. But I never held it against him. Because Wisely's intervention lead to Adam demanding we move in with him- all three of us- and that he would take care of the bills as long as she focused her all on getting better.

Cassidy, Adam's then wife- Fin's mom- threw a fit and ended up leaving him soon after we moved in. Adam wouldn't let mom blame herself for it- they'd been having problems long before that.

Adam was an odd man, I learned in those first few weeks. He liked black coffee in the mornings followed directly by a bitter tea of some kind. He had an assortment of live plants he kept in the study- that kept more plants than books. And he never ate potatoes- no reason really, just said he didn't like _the flavor_… _Odd_, right? But he loved Wisely… In an odd nagging kind of why that the eleven year old Wisely hated- well, that he hated outwardly, anyway. Knowing him now, I know he adopted that teasing habit to anyone he cares about- it's just the Walker way. Allen's the same, sometimes.

And during that fall and winter while we lived with Adam and Wisely and Finny, with his on-again-off-again mom popping in randomly- only to get aggravated a few days later and leave again- I fell even more in love with that guy who wasn't yet my brother. His voice, his odd habit, and _him_- everything he did made me itch to know more and more and _more_… Then I didn't know what it was called- what to make of it. He made me feel warm whenever he was around- like I was near something special and bright- that was all I knew.

That winter Jasdero and I turned eight.

The next few days Christmas came around, and Adam's house was quickly flooding with people. I tried to meet them with an open mind- and they oddly met us with open arms.

People tricked in from the twenty-second, just after our birthday, right up until the afternoon of Christmas Eve. Mom stayed in bed most of the time, and Jas and I stuck together- usually in a corner.

Wisely kept a watchful eye on us, from wherever he was in the room and never went far. Finny was in an out, actually coming over to check on us some of the time. The brash fourteen year old managed to introduce us to the older people quickly, knowing neither of us liked _unknown elements_ very well.

Jas was beyond shy until he hit his teens, and I was- and still am to _some_ extent- _socially defunct_, as Wisely liked(s) to put it. That Christmas just didn't seem to agree with us either. Jasdero kept getting sick and I just remember being so angry- at _every_thing.

But then, the two oddest things seemed to happen- and they yielded results that still manage mystify me.

* * *

><p>"<em>Sarah smiles like Sarah doesn't care,<br>She lives in her world so unaware,  
>Does she know that my destiny lies with her…<br>Sarah (Sarah) __Oh Sarah (Sarah)  
>Are you saving me?…"<br>_"Sarah Smiles" -Panic! At The Disco

* * *

><p>Neah, Wisely's uncle took a seat at the piano half a wall away from us, while the rest of the family quickly move to situate themselves in the room.<p>

I can remember how my skin grew hot being in such a close proximity to all of them- and I remember Jasdero shaking next to me on the small couch. But before any of them could get too close Wisely had perched himself on the arm of the sofa that was near another chair- a table on the other side then the area to the back of the piano- effectively staving off the people around us from getting too close. Jasdero then somehow managed to wedge himself further into the corner and my shoulder at the same time, while Wisely was throwing both of us encouraging smiles the entire time.

"Alright, alright," Neah was suddenly shushing everyone, as his wife- Sofia- quickly took her seat next to him on the bench- her silver eyes shining. I can remember looking around as they all quieted their murmuring and spotting their daughter, Robin seated on the couch next to the chair on Wisely's other side. Next to her was a small seven year old girl, with raven hair and dark eyes- Rhode- and seated in Robin's lap was the almost-ten year old Allen- who's hair was the same Recessive-Walker-Gene-White as Wisely's and his sister's.

These were my first memories of these people.

Finny had taken up a seat on the chair between Wisely and Robin. And I know now that it was a tradition that the younger people sat further from the piano- because passed where Robin sat with Allen and Rhode there was Tyki in a wingback, then Cyril and Tricia were lounging on the chaise next to him, then Cassidy was oddly present today with Adam next to her on their other side. And the Maggie- an older cousin- with her brothers Paul and Jude wedged on either side of her and the fourth brother Mana, sat on the much longer couch that was situated adjacent to the piano where Neah and Sofia sat.

And that was the family then.

And watching them interact with each other for a while as they argued lightly and laughed, made me feel cold and even more angry.

_And then, that first thing… _I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt Wisely's thin-boyish fingers weave into the hair at the back of my head.

"Calm down," he whispered to me, nodding his head to where Jas had somehow fallen asleep on my shoulder, "He hasn't been sleeping much, has he?" I wanted to say 'neither of us have,' but I stopped myself and just shook my head. I didn't want to worry anyone- and right then, with his fingers running through my hair I thought it would honestly have been pretty easy to fall asleep.

_And the second… The less complicated one._

"Alright, here we go," Neah was then saying and with a quick bounce of his head and a few whispered words, his fingers were moving and Sofia's were tapping along on the ivory keys to compliment his perfectly.

And I fell in love again- the second time with their music. Because even just listening to the Walker's play _Christmas tunes_- the magical sound could make godless man weep with good nature. They were masters of the art- _all of them_. Adam said it was breed into them- the four brothers. Adam had always been able to play the Violin and Cello- I could remember that. Cyril played the upright Base and a few woodwinds. Mana could play a mean rhythm or Sax. And Neah, he lived on the Piano… And his voice, he could have sang opera- I would swear- and Allen followed in his footsteps flawlessly.

And then, Christmas was over- we got some presents, but mom got worse. I wasn't stupid enough to think she'd live then- but it didn't stop me from wanting her too.

And I hated how helpless it all made me feel. Jasdero would cry himself to sleep most nights, I couldn't help him. Mom was dying, I couldn't fix her. Adam and Cassidy got a divorce- I wouldn't have tried to fix that. But… Wisely's schooling was seeming to take up most of his time- I hardly saw him those days.

And I stopped sleeping all together it felt like- and when I did, I woke up more tired than when I fell asleep. I remember nights when I would slip out of bed after Jas had fallen asleep on my then wet pillow and walking around the manor. Sometimes leaving the actual house and walking around the garden or the small woods out back. But more often than not, I found myself in the parlor, where the piano that Neah played on Christmas sat- but never having the courage to actually open it and even poke out a single note.

It was one of those nights, when things began to change. I sat there most night thinking- wishing, wanting. And at eight-years-old, which I guess was weird, I decided I needed to be a stone. The small piece of hard material that would hold the things I wanted to support together. I wanted to help Jas get over the inevitable fact that mom was going to die; I wanted to make our burden on Adam as easy as possible; I wanted to make myself better- so that no one else would have to worry about me, or about us. I wanted to be good- and somewhere in my mind I thought, I wanted to be a Walker.

And so, on the sixth night I sat at that piano, I finally made my hands move, opened the key cover and laid my fingers against those ivory keys. And I was astounded by how right, just holding my fingers there felt.

* * *

><p>"<em>When darkness turns to light<br>It ends tonight,  
>It ends a little insight won't make this right<br>It's too late to fight  
>It ends tonight,<br>It ends tonight…"  
><em>"It Ends Tonight" -All-American Rejects

* * *

><p>But the days kept moving- the nights kept existing. I was usually able to sleep a bit in the late evening- weather because my body merely crapped out or something else, I didn't know, but it helped me keep going.<p>

Adam began us on home lessons shortly after new year's. The Walker Manor was so far out of the way that to send us to public school would have been ridiculous. Finny went though, as he'd entered what would have been his eight grade year- which was when any of us would have stepped out of the eldest Walker's realm of knowledge- he wanted us to go to a proper place for our last five years of schooling. Wisely would go the next year. And that was another thing about beginning lessons I liked- we studied with Wisely. The tutor Adam hired was a smart man- Mr. Wenham- who was capable of teaching Wisely what he needed to know at the same time he was able to dumb it down for the two of us, who were a good five years younger.

Wisely turned twelve that February- and it felt like I'd never catch up.

And again, mom got worse. By March she was sleeping most of the day. Even when the doctor came to check-up on her, she didn't wake up.

Jas stopped crying at night by mid-April. By the end of the month, I could function for nearly a week with only an hour of sleep a day. I had found an old piano basics book in Adam's garden (Study) shortly after Wisely's birthday and by May, I could play chords and scales without looking at my fingers. The lessons that Mr. Wenham taught us most days though didn't stick. My brain was unable to learn words then- notes and sounds were all I could understand.

So on that night in mid-May when I was up playing, I knew it when Wisely walked into the room, without looking. My eyes were closed- I could have been sleep-playing for all he knew. But he didn't say anything for a while, just stood right inside the door listening to my fingers pluck the notes, only to slow as he began to cross the room. My eyes slid open as he took a seat on the piano bench next to me. And I listened, semi-transfixed as his fingers began to play the scale exercise an octave below mine. But then it ended and we lapsed into silence, as my eyes slid closed again.

And then his fingers pulled out a chords that I knew without looking and my fingers slid back onto the keys and played it in time with him as we started the next scale up without speaking.

"How long have you been doing this," he asked in a low whisper, as we reached the end of that scale too. I merely shook my head as my eyes looked down at the monochrome keys to see my darker toned hands against the keys next to his paler, slightly larger ones. And even then, Wisely felt so far above me… _So far beyond what I could obtain_.

I told him merely that I found the book shortly after his birthday. He didn't respond for a few moments.

"That's not what I meant, Dev." I said nothing, because I wanted to be that stone. Stones don't worry any one- I didn't want to worry anyone, least of all Wisely. "You need to sleep, kid. I know you're down here most nights, I can hear the piano through the floor." I nodded, realizing for the first time that Wisely's bedroom was right above the parlor… Right next to mine, where Jasdero would be still sleeping in my bed again- _always_.

He sighed then, his fingers once again lifting to the keys this time I looked at them to see the beginning chord of the basic C scale. I matched him, fingers lifting- and with small taps to count off, our fingers played the same exercise again in the last downward chord like the book had taught me to do.

I learned sometime after that, that Wisely hated to leave things unfinished- it was nearly an OCD of his.

Another bit of him that I learned to love so easily.

Then Wisely was rising from the bench turning away only to stop just behind where I sat on it. I felt his fingers hesitantly run through the short hair on the back of my head- slender, smooth but jerky, like he wasn't sure it was right to do it. But my eyes closed on their own- I liked the feeling of his fingers there, probably just a bit too much.

"Go to sleep, Dev; please? You need to sleep more than I know you have been." And then Wisely left the room, abruptly but not running. I listened to his feet pad down the hall before I let my eyes open again and glance at the still exposed keys of the piano in front of me.

The wood made a clapping noise as I closed it before standing and leaving the room to trek back down the hall, up the stairs and into my room where Jas was still asleep- Jasdero could sleep like a sunken rock. And that night he didn't stir, like any other, as I slipped back into the bed and fell fast asleep- just because Wisely had told me to.

I tried for a long while after that to be the stone I had promised myself I would become. But it never felt right.

One night, when I was awake and again in the parlor- though I'd stopped playing the piano because I didn't want to wake Wisely up- I began to consider that maybe a 'stone' was the wrong way to go. Because when I thought of this stone it was more of a pebble- and the only memories I had of pebbles were those pesky ones that got in my shoes when I was little. And I didn't want to be a Pesky Pebble, I knew that.

And now, years later, I know damn well it was weird when I sat up all night watching the trees through the parlor window. Thinking the entire night about what I'd be if a not a Pesky Pebble. But I did decide on something, as I watched those trees. I decided I be a wind- a breeze. Because in all those corny serendipity movies, it was always the wind that brought people together. Weather it was by stealing the heroine's hat and blowing it right into the path of the hero, or some other crazy, impossible shit. I wanted to be that wind...

I was a fuckin' weird kid; I know.

* * *

><p>"<em>I may never sleep tonight,<br>As long as you're still burning I could trade mistakes for sheep,  
>Count me away before you sleep.<br>I'll stay awake till I trade my mistakes  
>Or they fade away…"<br>_"Trade Mistakes" -Panic! At the Disco

* * *

><p>But things happen at night, all my life that I'd never talk about much- not even Jas or Wise.<p>

Losing that much sleep, coupled with the anxiety I had and never talked about up until mom died- it did weird things to my head. It made me see things at weird times- when I knew nothing was there. It gave me night terrors when I did sleep- so that I would wake up confused and scared at times it seemed my mind knew I was alone...

And Wisely- yet again- was the only one that I ever let see me like that. It was an accident, on one of those nights I went down to the parlor and sat in the overstuffed chair in the corner- where Finny had sat on Christmas- and fell asleep actually.

I don't remember the dream- I never have- but I shook awake and looking around the room I saw Wisely standing just inside the door, looking terrified. I remember tasting the blood in my mouth and feeling my lip sting as my teeth finally let it go. My throat was raw and I remember just wanting to run away. But my legs were tired and I physically couldn't move them.

Wisely took a second to observe me, before he even tried to come closer. I can remember that terrified look on his face perfectly, and thinking 'is he scared of me?' Now I know he wasn't, but then, that thought worried me more than the blood making a slow trail down my chin.

He held my gaze until he was right in front of me, kneeing down and only then looked away to grab one of the tissues off the end table next to me, which there seemed to be at least three boxes of in every room anyway, and begin to dab at the blood on my chin.

"Is this why you don't sleep," I can remember he asked me, so quiet that I nearly didn't hear him. I immediately shook my head no. The terrors were infrequent and never bothered me long... Him finding out was just an accident. "Then why," he asked next. And I couldn't find an answer for a bit.

I didn't want to explain to him that I thought sleeping was a waste of time, because back then that's what I thought. I knew enough to know that it sounded weird. So I just stayed silent.

And Wisely eventually just sighed, and grabbing the tissue box and my wrist pulled me up, helping me steady myself when I nearly fell, and slowly began back out of the room. I didn't ask, though I wanted to, why he did some things, and now I know he probably didn't know why- just did what he felt was right. And that night as he made me curl into the sheets of his large bed, running his finger through my hair and making my stomach somersault while whispering for me to sleep, I think I had one of the best night's rests of my life.

The next day, I woke up before he did and I watched him sleep for a bit. I can still remember how relaxed his face was; how slow his breathing was. The midmorning light piddled into the room and across his cheek and hair and his light skin looked like it was glowing. He doesn't look that different now actually. Face a bit more slender with high cheek bones and thin, full lips that would part as he would breathe, because Wisely always sleeps with his face half in a pillow.

But that morning I quietly crept out of his room and back into mine and slid in next to Jas, only to lay there a mere moment before he woke up. My brother was always a girly boy- his blond hair was never short even back then. Mom had threatened to cut it off if he didn't take care of it, and he always did. Those thick blond waves were his pride and joy for most of his life. But that morning, as he sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, his hair was pulled back into a braid that I'd watched him do the night before.

"Morning, Dev," he said to me, like he did most mornings- but I paid attention that morning. I can remember every detail from that morning perfectly down to how when we went down to breakfast and Wisely walked in, he met my eyes and then blushed before he looked away. And I was so young- innocent enough that I didn't get it. I didn't understand things that a twelve year old in a big family would already know.

But I did, eventually.

After that, I stopped lurking. After Jasdero would fall asleep, I would slip out of my bed and silently down a door into Wisely's room. He wouldn't say anything just shuffle over for me to lie down. And it was the only way I could sleep after a while, with his warmth right next to me.

After that, the summer went fast. The lessons Reever taught us were easy- stuck like double sided tape. But if the older man noticed the change I never heard about it.

* * *

><p>"<em>Holding <em>_my b__reath  
>For a whole month<br>__If I held your breath  
>At least we would touch…"<br>_"Stuck to You" -Hellogoodbye

* * *

><p>And for a while, everything was perfect. And for a while mom got better, she was up and moving around quite a few times. I spent a lot of time with her and Jas- doing puzzles like we used to when we lived on our own. A few times we even got Wisely to help us. He sucks at puzzles; I honestly didn't used to think that was even possibly, but Wisely proved it <em>defiantly<em> is.

And then on one of the days when mom stayed in bed to rest and keep her energy, Adam called us into the parlor. And Jas and I sat on the small loveseat as he told us he was going to marry our mother. I didn't really get it, and I know Jas didn't either. Jas was happy, seeming only to understand that we would actually be part of the family. But I thought about it more; thought about how it didn't feel _right_ to me. Then I noticed Wisely standing in the doorway of the parlor, his hands tucked deep into his pockets, while his eyes were downcast and glaring at the floor. I figured out that it wasn't a good thing- Wisely didn't think it was a good thing, so even if I didn't understand why, it wasn't to me either.

But regardless there was a small ceremony on one of the days when mom was well enough for it, in the back garden of the manor on a cool day toward the end of July. I stayed by Wisely's side the entire time, Jas on my other side, with Finny next to him. And as I held his hand, I tried to not notice that it shook the entire ceremony.

There was a little reception, where we all mingled. Wisely managed to slip away as Jas drug me to see mom, and I didn't manage to find him again until most of the family was gone. He looked upset, but he wasn't crying. I didn't understand why- and though I now know there were a lot of reasons he was upset that day, I don't know which one bothered him the most. But as I sat next to him, and pulled his hand from his lap to take it in mine, he seemed to relax only a bit.

"I hate him," I heard him grit out and I didn't know how to reply. So we just sat in silence; no one came to bother either of us until late. Jas would peek around the corner a few times but never actually came over- just kept an eye on us.

And the wedding seemed to do nothing. They didn't wear rings; they didn't kiss; they weren't in love. It was legal- I understood that soon enough.

* * *

><p>"<em>You were standing in the wake of devastation<br>And you were waiting on the edge of the unknown  
>And with the cataclysm raining down<br>Insides crying "Save me now"  
>You were there, impossibly alone…"<br>_"Iridescence" -Linkin Park

* * *

><p>Mom died on August sixteenth, out of the blue. The day before she was doing a puzzle with us, then she just wouldn't wake up the next morning. She told us both, individually, that she loved us that night. We went in to give her a kiss good night and hugs and stuff, and she told us each that- saying it with both of our <em>individual<em> names. She'd called us Jasdevi the majority of the time, since it was easier. But that night we were Jasdero and Devitto, and she never said anything different again.

Jas was in shock for a few days. He sat on the window bench in the kitchen for a solid day. I would check on him, but seeing him like that made he want to curl into a ball and just cry. Finny eventually picked him up and carried him to my room and laid him in bed. He didn't move past turning into the corner. And regardless that I knew I wouldn't sleep without Wisely there, I didn't dare leave him. But it didn't matter- a bit passed eleven Wisely came to us. Jas even looked up to acknowledge him. He moved between us and as I fell asleep I was so happy he was there for not just me anymore, but both of us.

Over the next few weeks, for the sake of distraction, Finny and Wisely decided they would teach us to play. Jas didn't seem like he was really up for it most of the time, but he attempted. Those three weeks following mom's death though were the most frustrated I've ever seen Jas. He didn't know what to do with himself. But before he calmed down, things only got worse.

Wisely and Finny were supposed to leave on the twenty-second to go to stay in the city, with Cyril's family to go to school. And by the end of the month, Adam didn't seem to think it could be put off. But Cyril's wasn't big enough for all four of us to crash, but Adam seemed unwilling for Jasdero and I to stay at the manor without kids our own age to vent with. But with a few calls, Finny and Wisely were off to stay at Cyril's while Jas and I were sent off to Neah's.

As opposed to the manor, which was big, wooden, and elegant- Neah's house was large, glass and sleek metal. But with just the right additions of color that made it come alive and seem homely. And it was only ten minutes from Cyril's, while Mana lived right down the road. But what I loved most about Neah's house was that there was always music floating though the rooms.

There was a grand piano in the greeting room, with a few random cream and violet couches and ottomans. On the second level, there was a small baby grand in the corner of the kitchen where in any other house there was would be a kitchen table. But the kitchen table had its own room, with soft teal covered chairs. There was another electric piano in the music room upstairs too, where every other instrument in creation was kept. Every member of Neah's family could play the piano, and without trying it could be beautiful.

Robin was quiet girl, who acted noting like a girl- wore shorts and played ball instead of skirts and playing dolls. Allen, at ten years old was light years beyond the talent of a well-versed musician, but his social skills sucked. Not that I had any room to comment.

In the first week we stayed with them, I made Allen cry three times. He was a crybaby- I didn't really do anything. I remember thinking that Allen's voice was so annoying- I bite my tongue for it to this day. Jas didn't really talk much, to anyone other than me- and only when we were alone. He didn't really mind staying with Neah, said he didn't really feel like we had an actual home anymore.

* * *

><p>"<em>I would have used a pencil but lead's just not permanent.<br>I trust my printer's ink?  
>To express the things I think?…"<br>_"Dear Jamie… Sincerely Me" -Hellogoodbye

* * *

><p>Jasdero seemed like a different person in those days- different than who he was, and who he became. He was in a state of indecision is what he says- waiting for a reason to be anything. He found it eventually.<p>

Reever eventually came to Neah's too, began to tutor Allen and us. Robin was in school by that time- Neah having the same basic scale as Adam.

Then, suddenly one Saturday, they were all back. I remember waking up late, having passed out sometime in the early morning, still (for some reason) sleeping in the same bed as Jas, and opening my eyes to him. And it was the best morning I'd had in weeks. And I think that was the first time I ever hugged Wisely without thinking about it- because I really had missed him.

"Good Morning, Dev," he whispered next to my head and for the first time I can remember there wasn't a sarcastic remark in my head. Then Jasdero was shuffling awake and Wisely pulled back to smile at him too. And even then I noticed how he didn't hug Jas.

Then he was pulling us out of bed and throwing clothes at us and commanding we get downstairs… then he waited outside for us. And I would have probably been angry if he didn't seem like he was in such a good mood. 'Cause as long as he was smiling, I could never have been mad.

And downstairs was so much commotion that my head was spinning for a few minutes. Finny was playing a game on the TV with Maggie, Jude and Robin. Paulie was sitting on an opposite couch with Rhode in his lap laughing at them. Allen was seated on the floor next to the couch watching quietly. There was noise coming from the open kitchen, that when I looked, I could see Neah, Sofia, Cyril, and Adam laughing. Mana was glaring at them as he pouted. And then I remembered that Tricia had died a bit before mom- just after Christmas. But looking at Rhode and Cyril you wouldn't have known.

I figured it was difference a family could make.

And as Wisely pulled us into the living room, sat us on the loveseat and took his own seat right in front of it, I wondered if they were trying to fix us right then. And I think I let them- or more so, him.

* * *

><p>"<em>Ten bucks says you don't have it in you<br>To conquer fear and quit believing what they tell you to  
>You are careening shamelessly into oblivion<br>You will live alone with your chemicals and gin…"  
><em>"The Dutch Courage" -The Spill Canvas

* * *

><p>Wisely and Finny, after that, came over every weekend to do as they said and teach us to play- I lived for those weekends. Wisely mentioned to Neah that I had been tinkering with the piano and he gave me a few lessons- I was alright at it. Sofia attempted to teach it to Jasdero and for a while he didn't want to, he didn't really want to do anything. But as he does most things, Jas would play with me when no one else could get him to. So Sofia began to teach us together, taking turns. And he fell in love with music, playing it and listening to it.<p>

After Jas took off on that, Wisely began to teach me guitar. He made me feel stupid. I mean I knew nothing and Wisely was amazing. I liked to just listen to him play it more than play it myself. He laughed awkwardly and blushed when I said it like that. Then he suggested the bass. And with a little prodding, I started to play in mid-October. The deep, tones were amazing to my ears- the intricate underlying parts tricky and when played just right added so much to any piece.

When Jas got stuck on the tempo in a piano solo piece, Finny began to teach him rhythm. Playing the drum set was a work in progress for Jas for a long time- but he got good enough that piano solos were easy and he would switch back and forth. I would only play the guitar when Wisely wasn't around though, which when Neah told him that he laughed again.

And then Sofia discovered something that they were all a little mystified by- I already knew. Jasdero had perfect pitch. I knew because he would always help me tune the bass. But after that, Jas began to get vocal lessons right along with his piano. And I can remember listening to his and Sofia's voices together, laying on the couch in the other room, and I fell a bit further in love with their music.

The Walker's were a musical family. I had known about Neah and Mana's company- the record label they had taken over and built up from their father. And I knew that even before then, this family had been known for it's musical talents- not just by us. And I thought for a minute, as I listened Sofia and Jasdero play and sing- we really were looking like Walker's.

Between lessons and tutoring sessions, the winter went quickly in Neah's large home. Christmas passed again, we turned nine- nothing seemed to really change. I started to get along easier with Allen- didn't make him cry as much. Robin became like a big sister to us.

But then the family had a… _moment_. Cyril suddenly announced that he would be moving to South Florida for about a year. No one really knew what to say right away. He told us he was going to clean up some things from when Tricia had lived down there- we all knew she had left a house down there. He told us Tyki would be going with him. And he asked Adam to look after Rhode. Nothing they said could change his mind- though even I knew, as a nine year old, that doing this would hurt him. Like when I watched Adam pack up mom's things- he didn't know I did though.

After that spring piddled passed just like the winter had- with Wisely and Finny stopping by less as their end of year studies were keeping them busy- we eventually moved back to the manor. And for a while, after Neah left, it was just us. I remember thinking about how quiet the huge house was. And I remember looking at Jas and seeing that vacant look on his face- I hated that look. Then I would drag him into the parlor and making him play bit of piano pieces we'd both memorized together. I liked that noise in that room so much more.

But by the end of the first week, we'd rummaged though Adam's Garden (Study) to find more piano books. And by the end of the few weeks we were alone- with only Adam and the maids- my fingers hurt from playing the piano so much.

Wisely and Finny got home on the following Tuesday, while we were playing the piano. And I remember hearing them chuckling from the door and looking up at them. And even in just a school year, I realized how much older he looked. But so did Finny, I tried to tell myself- even though it didn't change anything. Wisely had turned thirteen that February.

That time, when Wisely was thirteen to fifteen, was the worst for me.

* * *

><p>"<em>Submerging from your world<br>And back into my bliss  
>A day rolled into one<br>Is burning on my lips  
>Blurring all your words<br>Until they don't exist  
>And in a parallel universe<br>It's me you can't resist…"  
><em>"As If By Magic" -La Roux

* * *

><p>But for me, nothing much changed that summer. I still found reasons to sneak into Wisely's room most nights and sleep with him, especially after I stopped sleeping again and he made me. I still played piano most days, with Jas and sometimes Wisely.<p>

But then, in the third week of summer, Rhode came to stay with us. She was moody, and a girl- and we didn't really know how to deal with either. She cried a lot. Sometimes silent, others screaming- most of the time it was something I said that would start it and I would feel like crap for hours. Jas didn't talk to her much. Finny pretty much ignored all of us. Wisely, though, was the only one who seemed to know what to say to shut her up.

But on one of those nights were I wasn't sleeping, but hadn't gone to Wisely's room yet, Jas slunk into my room. He usually slept in his own room anymore, so it was weird. But that night he just slipped onto the end of my bed and curled up in a ball right there, reminding me of a cat.

"She annoys me," was the first thing he said and I had to pause. Because while Jas usually didn't openly display his emotions back then, it was weird for him to have thought it out enough to say it so easily. He would have had to put time into it for it to be that simple.

I laugh anymore when I think about how Jas and Rhode used to hate each other so openly when we were little.

Towards the end of summer, Cyril called Adam and told him he wouldn't be back by the time school went back into session. Rhode stayed at the manor with us- Wisely and Finny went to stay at Mana's for the school year.

We began lessons with Reever more regularly in mid-August, and it was terrible. I sat between Rhode and Jas, because it postponed the squabble that _would_ happen, but it never _stopped_ it. The two together were amusing but ungodly annoying. Reever was equally annoyed with it after long enough- without having to sit in the middle- and began to tutor me alone when they started, then they'd realize they were falling behind and pay attention for a while before starting another fight.

It was interesting to watch though. Jas didn't talk back then, but he would to harass Rhode. It was the usual elementary school crush thing.

Wisely and sometimes Finny would come home on most weekends. And I was back to living for the weekends. Rhode was the first person to ever say anything about it. I tried to not let Adam know- I don't know why I thought it was a good thing to do, regardless of if it was or wasn't. Jas knew more than he probably ever said, but never seemed to care.

"You care about him a lot, don't you?" I didn't answer her really, just gave her a hard look- more trying to gauge if she cared or not.

Back then, I understood that he was my brother _by marriage_, and that you shouldn't have romantic feelings for your _brother_. But in my mind, it didn't matter, because I'd loved him long before he was my brother. And at nine years old, I was pretty sure I did love him- no matter how weird that made me.

There have been number of people though my life that have told me I understand more than I should. Rhode was one of them when we got older- and Allen too eventually, when we met Kanda.

And for a while nothing changed- for once. Passed Cyril's trips with Tyki taking a lot longer than we'd expect and Rhode staying with us at the manor- nothing changed that year. Through the winter and spring, it was all the same. We turned ten, Wisely turned fourteen- I tried to not think about that.

* * *

><p>"<em>I built this house<br>__With my own hands  
>And she just came<br>And burnt the plans  
>She found the safe<br>And cracked the code  
>She grabbed the goods<br>And hit the road…"  
><em>"Homewrecker" -Hellogoodbye

* * *

><p>But that summer the anatomy of our family had to change again- <em>had<em> to.

Adam was a man, I was well aware of that- an oddly caring and affectionate man. But no matter how hard I tried, I could never pin down the way Wisely and Adam agreed on anything. They were so different, it was hard most of the time to see that they were blood. I could never remember Joann- the few pictures around the manor the only things keeping her face in my memory. Wisely looked more like her than Adam.

We met Lulu around the end of July. I didn't like her. There's no 'but' or 'though' to add either- we all hated her. Because as soon as she walked in, Wisely was instantly angry. He told me a while later that every woman Adam brought to meet him, his father ended us marrying. "Cassidy had a reason. Abby had a reason. But this one… She's just supposed to make him feel pretty- I can see it all over her face."

The only upshot was that Lulu didn't have any kids- so we had not reason to even _see_ her. So we didn't. Sometimes I forgot she was there. And, just as Wisely predicted Adam made to marry her. They got engaged four months after we met her, in November.

I hated how, when I remembered she was there, she would always talk to me in a baby voice or a fake 'motherly' voice. Lulu didn't have a _motherly_ bone in her body- and if she did, he paid to have it transplanted there.

* * *

><p>"<em>And in a burst of light that blinded every angel<br>As if the sky had blown the heavens into stars  
>You felt the gravity of tempered grace<br>Falling into empty space  
>No one there to catch you in their arms…"<br>_"Iridescence" -Linkin Park

* * *

><p>That winter, we turned eleven. And then in February, Wisely turned fifteen.<p>

And not even a month later, on Sunday- March fifteenth, our world ended.

It was a morning like many other's we'd seen. Adam had said goodbye that morning, as he left for a business trip with Neah, Sofia and Mana. Cyril would be getting back from Florida the next day and he'd be coming to the manor to stay with Rhode and us.

And I remember eating cereal at the counter in the kitchen, while Rhode and Jasdero ate at the table and eventually flung soggy spoonfuls at each other.

I was a weird kid, because I watched the news- but that morning it was a terrible kind of habit.

There was an orange banner at the bottom of the television, that with the volume off was all I knew about any story. And when the words Breaking News came up, I paid attention- like always. Then the subtitle, 'Private Plane Crashes South of Charleston.' And instantly I found the remote and turned the volume up way too high. Jas and Rhode started to complain before the pictures started to cross the screen. I listened to the words, but I don't remember them.

But I do remember the sounds of breaking ceramic slamming into the tile floor. And turning back to the door I watched Wisely as he took in the TV screen and just like the rest of us, _hoped_. I can remember that we _hoped_ for days- in vain- that it wasn't them. But with no calls, no answers, no bodies after the engine fire- we buried empty caskets a few weeks later.

An electrical malfunction started a fire that eventually cause another short and then a motor malfunction. They would probably have been dead before they hit the ground. The four members of our family, a pilot, co-pilot, and two flight attendants.

And at eleven years old, I wished morbidly that Lulu would have gone with them.

Adam's will left the estate to Wisely, but until he was old enough it defaulted to Lulu. Cyril and Tyki moved into the manor, to help take care of us- so Rhode could be with us and we could have a light at some point in this tunnel.

Allen and Robin moved in, too. Neah's home, and his company went to Robin- but she told Cyril up front that she didn't know how to be her father in his company. So others in the family stepped up. The legal issues of running Ark Records still mess with my head- but when they were only eighteen and nineteen Finny, Maggie, Paulie and Jude took a foothold in the company Cyril, Mana, Neah and Adam had inherited from their father. Cyril, with Tyki's help, taught them everything about the company, and it grew.

And they all agreed, as we all still do- that Lulu has no place in Noah's legacy.

But regardless of how well things went with the company, or how many pieces he picked up, Wisely was never the same after Adam died. They hadn't gotten along; they never agreed- but Adam was his father. His last full blooded family- and then he was gone.

And I kept sleeping in his bed at night, while wondering who it was actually helping after a while. Before then, when I'd slept with him, I just lay there- both just comfortable with the extra heat the other gave off. But after that, the mechanics changed. Because Wisely was always a small kid, he didn't grow much before he was seventeen. And I'd grown evenly though my entire life, so when I was eleven and he was fifteen Wisely was only about half a head taller than me. But when he shrunk into that little ball I really did just want to hold him until he stopped hurting.

I remember once actually thinking about how I wished band-aids really could cover any wound. I know, I was fucking weird.

* * *

><p>"<em>Only three I can't seem<br>To get enough anyway  
>I can't speak<br>Nothing to say anyway…  
>"Let's show them the only way<br>Let's sew up their hearts…"  
><em>"Starts With One" -Shiny Toy Guns

* * *

><p>The fall after the accident, Cyril decided we couldn't stay at the manor. We all listened. We all entered public schooling and began to co-exist at the large house Mana had owned and that he'd left to Paulie, who was the oldest of the three. Lulu stayed at the manor.<p>

Cyril became like our singular provider. Tyki never seemed to be around at the right moments. Maggie at nineteen became the stay at home mom, running her bits of business from the house- Paulie and Jude the unwanted fathers. Robin, didn't seem to know what to do with herself. Allen stopped crying. Wisely stopped talking. Finny turned into a jerk. Rhode learned to never stop smiling. Jasdero got antsy all the time. And, I got angry again.

There was no family to heal to anyone while we were all bits of broken.

But Wisely was always there, that fall, before we started school. I slept in his room every night and woke before the sun was up to slip back into my room.

At twelve we entered public schooling- sixth grade. It was hell. I was angry to begin with, and the other kids seemed to love torturing Jasdero. About his hair or about his girly-face- either or, and I'd end up in the office with a pink slip. In trouble- time and time again. Jasdero eventually started fight too, and before long we had specific seats that should have had our names engraved on the back of them.

Wisely told me- toward the beginning of the year- to stop giving in, and for once I didn't listen. No one fucked with my brother. And eventually they learned. The torture lessened, Jas and I fought less… But I don't know how we made it through that first year. The lessons meant nothing, because Reever had taught us the information already- but we should have gotten kicked out. Our family was the only reason we didn't- though no one dared say it.

By the end of that year we were the worst twelve year olds ever. Rhode and Allen had stopped talking to us at school. Wisely was in high school already and was in a different building- he was sixteen by then.

And that summer, after that first year, shit hit the fan- for me at least.

* * *

><p><em>(Giant Grin)<em>  
><em>Oh, SidePlot.<em>

_So this is the SidePlot, that actually will cover Devitto growing up. I have up to his Sophomore year just about written- which in the main plot they've just graduated high school. There are gonna be about three parts. And this is basically a filler for a time jump- But Dev is one of the family members that gets closest to the actual plot I will be building._

_But, yeah- about that music. (Silly Smirk) There were thirteen line breaks in the story, including the top- each with it's own lyrical piece. If you haven't figured out, they're placed for reason. Go look- specifically at Iridescence, by LP. That a big one. And if you (any of you) have no heard any of these songs, do it. Youtube them and find the lyrics and then read the bit they go with... (Smiles) I am very pleased with how they turned out. They took forever, but I really like how it ended up. Each band feature is connected with a character too- there's a MaddessMethod there too._

_STG's is actually gonna be a rather large part when we get back into main-plot. (They're the cover band for Maggie's group, by the way.) Panic!ATD will be big too, for the much smaller, after this, SidePlot bits- while Hellogoodbye will play it's part too. And later in the Brothers.? parts, Neon Trees will bring back the Yullen. (Grin)- Which is why you all are here. (Bigger Grin)_

_But yeah, that's my rant. I have to go to work now.. (Sadface) Thanks for reading, as always. Reviews are appreciated._  
><em>-Aseru.<em>

_(**Disclaimer**: I own nothing.)_


	9. Brothers, 2

_Heya._

_SidePlot ch.2? Oh. Oh yes~. (Grins)_  
><em>I'm sure I'll come up with another huge thing for at the bottom, so read that too. Kay? Kay.<em>

_SidePlot! Return! I mean, poo- Go!  
>(Yes, I do amuse myself.) <em>

* * *

><p>"<em>You're the drama queen of every scene<br>__Perfectly out of place  
><em>_Only cynicism can get through to you  
><em>_Expand the image  
><em>_Up the insults  
><em>_Negativism through and through…"  
><em>"I'm Afraid Of Who Afraid Of Virginia Woolf" -Murder By Death

**XXX**

_**A-(Not So)-Sexual Man  
><strong>__Side the Second:  
><em>Brother, 2

* * *

><p>Wisely was sixteen, and sixteen year olds usually aren't exactly chaise. Especially when they look like Wisely Walker and have all the perks that come with being him too. He got his temps during the year, and by the end of that school year he was driving. Everywhere. He'd go out at night and wouldn't come home until late- really late.<p>

And I stopped sleeping again. He didn't notice. It was a forced state of denial, I've realized. Even when Jas, Rhode and Allen eventually noticed, got worried, and began to cram themselves into my overly large bed at nights- it didn't help. They weren't him.

There were a few times when I remember that he would sit down in a room with me and just stare into space, seeming like he wanted something, but never knowing how to say it or ask. I never gave it, regardless and then he'd leave again.

But that summer, I got so much worse. I remember how he and Cyril would fight some nights, scream at each other while Maggie tried to stop them. I tried to not hear what he was saying. Not to get mad when he admitted he was with people- tried to act like I was twelve and didn't know what those words meant. But I did- and it made me crazy.

Allen- who's age was right in the middle of Wisely and I- would sometimes look at me like he knew. Like he could see that dangerously simmering anger behind my eyes every time I looked at the person who was supposed to be my older brother. Because even as he told Cyril that it didn't matter 'who he fucked around with' I loved him- and sometime between then and when I was fifteen, I began to understand that I wanted him… in ways that some would call 'unhealthy.'

But healthy or not I did, _bad_.

* * *

><p>"<em>Cold hearts, colder songs<br>They will play us out  
>With a song of pure romance<br>Stomp your feet and clap your hands…"  
><em>"Let's Kill Tonight" -Panic! At The Disco

* * *

><p>The beginning of our seventh grade year, started just like the sixth. Other kids picked on Jasdero, for any number of reasons- and by the end of the first quarter, we'd beaten them back again.<p>

And then… I had a wet dream.

Puberty… _I hated it_.

I started first, Cyril said it was because I was older. I still don't know if I believe him. I was alone that morning thankfully. After that I stopped letting Allen, Jas, _and_ Rhode sleep in my room.

I figured out masturbating on my own, in the shower… a lot. I shot up six inches- or so- in a few months. Jas ended up just shorter than me. We avoided the acne thing- thank god. His voice dropped easily- quickly, though not much- mine took a bit longer. By the time Wisely turned seventeen, shortly after we turned thirteen, it somehow seemed over. I kept growing steadily after that, just like I always had. And Wisely was suddenly shorter than me.

He was 5'6" when he turned seventeen, I remember, and at thirteen we were freakishly tall- 5'8" while Jas was just below me at 5'7". But Wisely, wasn't lanky like we still were. And it annoyed me. Which made me mad, which oddly made me avoid him. But he still was never around so I didn't matter.

It kinda felt like I didn't see him my entire seventh grade year, regardless that we lived together with everyone else. And that summer was no better.

I swear I spent half of that summer in the large living room of Mana's old house, in that same window seat- reading, playing a video game, or sleeping. Or watching the driveway to see if he would come home, only to see his car some nights and then quickly sulk my way up to my room and lock the door. I hated the thought of him most of the time. And it lead to me hating myself, because I would still think about him too much- jerk off to my imagination of him in the shower…

I knew I was gay by the time I was fourteen, weird hn?

* * *

><p>"<em>Can't take the kid from the fight<br>Take the fight from the kid  
>Sit back, relax<br>Sit back, relapse again  
>Can't take the kid from the fight<br>Take the fight from the kid  
>Just sit back, just sit back…<br>You're a regular decorated emergency  
>You're a regular decorated emergency…"<br>_"Camisado" -Panic! At The Disco

* * *

><p>And then, that fall, it was somehow worse- again.<p>

The school we attended dumped the eight grade class in the same building as the high school kids. Meaning for one year, we were in the same building as Wisely, who was a senior that year.

The first week was weird, I would see him at random times passing through the halls, hanging out at lockers with other older kids I didn't know. The high school kids all looked at Jas oddly- like dogs that weren't not sure if they should attack or just ignore the mouse amongst them. They looked at me ever odder- like those same dogs looking at a ram, ready to pick a fight if they stepped up. Jas made sure to stay close to me.

I noticed that Allen stayed out of the light, with some friends of his I'd seen before around the house, that clung to him like a magnet.

But the Monday of the second week, we were at one of the picnic tables in the courtyard, by ourselves per usual, and something odd happened.

I remember him, because I learned to hate him so much- His name was Johnson, and he along with a few other guys walked up to us, standing in a perfect semi-circle around where Jas and I were sitting. I was sitting up on the table top facing them, glaring, while Jas ignored them and poked around in his mac'n'cheese, sitting correctly on the bench.

"Can we help you," I asked unimpressed, by Johnson's tennis player physique or any thing else they were sporting.

But then suddenly Wisely was walking up behind them. A smaller girl trailing behind him, looking concerned. "What the fuck are you doing Chase," he asked the other guy quickly, from just behind the semi circle of five guys. I just continued to watch him- staring into his shit colored eyes that told me he wanted to hit me; that he wanted to (for a reason I didn't understand) destroy me, though they never met mine levelly. "_Chase_," Wisely called again, the small girl having moved up to take hold of Wisely's arm imploringly, "Leave them the hell alone."

The tall brunette with those shit colored eyes, continued to scope me, his eyes still not meeting mine. I hated him already.

"I'm not doin' anything, Wise," he responded slowly, his voice croaky and edgy. Jas had stopped messing with his pasta long enough to turn his head and watch the other guy over his shoulder. "Just getting acquainted with your little bros."

Jas scoffed immediately, "By staring at us with that lopsided look- _brilliant_." I was baffled by the malice in his voice. Jas didn't get mad- Jas was the level headed one. But something about this man had quirked that. I wanted to know what he knew. I could see Wisely glaring at the other man now. And with another crooked look at Jas, the tall brunette turned and his posse suddenly scattered.

"Ah, come on, babe. I was just saying hey," he was commenting back. And it clicked. And before I could stop myself, I was nearly bounding off the table, lurching for him. But Jas had expected it I guess, because he was on his feet first, grabbing my arm and pulling me back. I would have ripped him apart if I had reached him I'm pretty sure.

The thought of anyone touching him pisses me off. But seeing _that buffoon_ be the one he'd let- that had moments before just come to have some kind of confrontation with Jasdero and I- I wanted to tear him apart.

The moment after I was shocked by my own possessive impulse. And from the look on his face so was Wisely. Jas and Johnson seemed to be the only one who had expected it. The small girl still next to Wisely even seemed a bit baffled. And once again, I went back to avoiding him. Slipping out of Jasdero's hold, a tight glare knit onto my face.

* * *

><p>"<em>Just take away the words I say<br>Cause I know  
>That you don't feel the same<br>Just go and say  
>What's in your head<br>And I won't try to stop you…"  
><em>"The Chemistry of a Car Crash" -Shiny Toy Guns

* * *

><p>And I remember that the three days after my first meeting with Johnson, I didn't sleep. I left my room for school and to pee. I didn't eat for a while- a turkey sandwich on the second morning, that was it. And Jas told Maggie- she wasn't happy. And Jas, of course, didn't just tell her what, he told her why. I would admit that the conversation with Johnson had rattled me.<p>

I hated thinking _he's with a guy, so why can't he be with me? _Cause then I'd have to remind myself that he's my step-brother. I hated reminding myself of that.

So Maggie in one of her brilliant moments made me sit down every morning and night, and eat whatever she put in front of me, or nagged me until she did. I told her that eating wasn't the hard part. Then she gave me some sleeping pills, and they didn't work- I wasn't shocked. They'd knock me out of a few hours then I'd wake up even more tired than I fell asleep.

So Maggie kept a closer watch over me. And kept force-feeding me- I was only agreeable, because then I didn't have to make something. And one of those mornings, on a Saturday, when we were sitting in the kitchen around eleven or so, he came home. Maggie was bent over one side of the counter, while I was struggling to get down a bowl of cereal that she had heaped high with Rice Chex, sitting on the other. And Wisely walked in the back door right as she was trying to make me spurt milk out my nose, and instead making me choke.

"Hi," was all he said after we fell quiet as he entered. Maggie smiled at him in return.

"Hey," I mumbled back, forcing my eyes from him to lock onto the bowl of cereal in front of me. I made them not look at the very visible hickey on his neck to the soggy cereal in front of me.

There was a heavy pause, where I could feel him just looking at me, I refused to look up and Maggie merely watched. Then with a large, gusty sigh he quickly slid through the room and into the hall. Maggie said nothing for a long moment, as I pushed the bowl away and crossed my arms on the counter only to bury my face in them a moment after. My anger was due to boil any time around then, and I think Maggie knew that- that was the moment she understood.

"Oh, Devi," she sighed before I could feel her finger running through the hairs on the back of my head. But they didn't sooth me or calm me in the slightest.

* * *

><p>"<em>Oh- How could it be<br>That tendons bound to bones with in my feet  
>Were bound to believe<br>That they should move themselves to up and leave  
>I should say that I'm sorry on their behalf<br>I should say something funny But you will not laugh…"  
><em>"Betrayed By Bones" -Hellogoodbye

* * *

><p>I stuck to avoiding him after that. And I got reckless, anyone who looked like they would hit back and thought about fighting I would. I was back to the grade school game of office chair roulette. Jasdero would pull me out or help me out, so he was usually right next to me. I apologized to him every time. And he would always just tell me to shut up.<p>

Then winter came, and Wisely didn't. He was gone more than ever. I remember it was a few days before our birthday, and he hadn't been home in a few days. And I can remember being so conflicted the day before it- wanting to see him and wanting to shove him in a closet just so he couldn't leave again, or punch him and send him to the ER. I wanted him and I hated him- and it messed with my brain quite a lot.

The morning of our birthday he wasn't home- by that point I'd kinda resigned my brain through the night that he wouldn't be. I still felt disappointed; he'd been there every other birthday.

We didn't really have a 'party' because we didn't really have any friends outside the family. There were greetings of the words in the morning, at breakfast. Cyril let us stay home- actually encouraged it, when he saw the bruise on my cheek and my busted lip, Jas' yellows cheek bones from the nearly-broken nose he'd gotten. Then again, Jas broke his nose so many times in high school it wasn't funny- because most of them were my fault.

I laid in bed all day. Jas came in and out, never stayed long though. It was one of the most boring days of my life.

And then it got dark, and I found myself getting (my default) angry about it- at myself more than him. I shouldn't have expected anything from him. He wasn't mine- and that thought nearly sent me off the handle, when I admitted to myself that if anyone's he was Johnson's. And I hated that guy.

I remember that I didn't leave my room for lunch or dinner- oddly, dozed most of the day. Never falling all the way asleep. But I know I didn't hear my door open, or close but I did at least know when my desk light turned on. And I was a mix of emotions when my eyes finally eased open, seeing him sitting on my rolling desk chair with an awkward smile on his face.

"Heya," he said quietly, when I didn't say anything. I didn't reply either, and we just sat in silence for a bit. "You okay?" I wanted to laugh and scream 'no', but just like when I was a kid, I never wanted to worry him.

I hadn't slept well in months. I'd stopped eating. I couldn't stop hitting people or things, because as soon as I did, I knew I would think about how much this hurt. And if there was an ache in my fingers or in my face- or any part of me besides my chest- I was fine. I had concluded some time before this, I was a wreck- and I wouldn't let myself blame it on him. Even if everyone else did.

But for once I was finally able to answer him truthfully. I let my eyes close again, my head roll back toward the ceiling, sighing as I answered, "No- _no_ Wise, I'm not." I could hear him move and scoff, before suddenly there was a weight of the side of the bed, making the mattress slope. And my eyes pop open.

Wisely's eyes are an odd hazel color, have I ever said that?

He smirked at motioned his head the opposite way from him, "Move over, idiot." And I did, and he pulled the comforter down and we laid there- I felt extremely awkward at first, not really knowing what to do. I think he figured that out and laughed at me, eventually taking the lead and pushing my back into the pillow and curling up against me with his head on my chest and his arm around me. "Relax, Dev," he chuckled against me, "It's not that hard."

But it was, for different reasons than he was probably thinking. I wanted to hold him, but I didn't know if it was right. _He belonged to Johnson, that's all my head knew_. And with him curled up against my- his skin on mine, breath sinking through the thin shirt I had on, and the heat of his body _there_- _I_ was hard. And I had to try to fight myself, to slap myself a few times with reminders before I realized it wasn't going to work. This was a bad idea, I heard my head telling me.

So one of my arms went over my face, while the other one laid out on the bed behind him. But he somehow stopped my internal war with a few words.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around much," I heard him whisper, and my world froze. "Allen," I noticed the pause, "_pointed out_ that you hadn't been sleeping, and stuff." He chuckled dryly at that, "He's always worried about everyone but himself." Then he sighed, "You could have said something."

"When," I accidentally snapped, before calming the snip forcefully, "When would I have, _ever_ had the chance to say _any_thing?" I could feel him tense. I could feel the tension in my own body, for different reasons though- I was still hyper aware to every feeling of him right there. He didn't say anything to that though, and I felt the need to continue. "You're _never_ here, Wise. I see you at school but you're always with _that idiot_," I could feel his face twist at that, but I didn't take time to dissect it, as I still couldn't see him- even with my arm now off my face, his face was turned away from me. "There's never a moment for me to say _any_thing to you."

And then there was that clenching in my chest and a stab in my head that made me feel like I'd lost him a long time ago. And before I could stop it, the hand that had been on the bed was lifting and treading into his hair, fingers curling and I could feel my hand press him into me more. My other arm moved on it's own and I practically turned on my side as it wrapped around his shoulders. It was one of those possessive movement that I'd always fought, but right then I was too tired to fight myself, and he was there.

But Wisely never tensed, his body practically turning to goop as I moved to hold him, and he turned to let me. But as I held him, I could feel the edge of his smile against my chest. And when he moved his head just a bit, my wrist relaxed just enough to let him turn to look up at me. And that smile made my breath catch in my throat and my heart go crazy. And then he was kissing me and I didn't know if I'd fallen asleep, but in moments I was kissing him back and my eyes were sliding shut and… I felt good. For the first time in a long time, I felt calm and peaceful, and _right_.

Irregardless how _wrong_ it may be to anyone else, Wisely made me feel _right_. And then he was pressing against me and I had to groan as he began to grind against my hard-on. "Caught ya," I heard him whisper against my lips as he continued to move his hips. And then I noticed he was practically on top of me and he was hard too.

And it clicked, and I could feel that grin slid over my lips. And as his eyes took it in, his hips slowed and his just looked at me for a moment. "You really should be illegal," he told me and I had to laugh- a good deep laugh that I actually felt, and it felt weird because it'd been forever since I'd laughed like that. But as it died, I kissed him, and I finally relaxed enough to let my urges go wild.

One hand on his hip and the other in his hair as he straddled me and ground his hips into mine with need and I let my body respond. But it wasn't enough and soon my hands were under his shirt before I noticed his were nearly immobile keeping him level over me.

* * *

><p>"<em>Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?<br>__You build up hope, but failure's all you've known  
><em>_Remember all the sadness and frustration  
><em>_And let it go. Let it go…"  
><em>"Iridescence" -Linkin Park

* * *

><p>There were a lot of mechanics of that night I don't remember passed how good it felt. But much passed the moans he let out and the taste of him and the feel of him, I don't remember much. We didn't actually have sex that night, but everything else was done. And as he laid there naked and finally done, he laughed at me. "Do you realize how weird you are?"<p>

"Do you realize how weird _we_ are?" I returned instantly with that same wicked grin he'd told me should be illegal twice by then. And he only groaned, before laughing again. "No seriously," I asked him again, already beyond comfortable with him like this and rolling over him, legs between his and arms on either side of his shoulders. "Do you realize how weird it is, to be like this," I continued nuzzling along his neck and collar bone, purposefully letting my breath tickle him, "to like having you step-brother over you." Wisely scoffed.

"Four years younger step-brother, mind you," he scoffed and I lifted my head to look him in the eye again.

"Which part of that bothers you more," I had to ask.

"The four years part," he responded easily a lazy grin on his lips as his eyes eased closed again and his arms easily slipped out from between us and up over my shoulders to pull me to him. I had to roll over to not fall on him and suddenly we were in the same position we started in, only without clothes. I glanced at the clock on my bedside table and I remember that it was just before two.

"Happy belated birthday, Devi," he whispered into my chest and I hummed as I nuzzled into his hair before falling asleep with the covers only half over us.

Then we woke up late the next morning to Jas banging on my door about why did I lock it and that I was gonna be late. We said nothing as the banging stopped and we dressed quickly, Wisely slipping on his clothes before I checked the hall and he kissed me hard before disappearing into his room two doors down, on the other side of Jas' room. I dressed and had just made it downstairs in time to see Maggie moving toward the already open door. She just gave me a lazy look.

"Eat somethin and have Wise drive you," she told me simply before leaving. I shrugged as I grabbed two breakfast bars and worked on them before Wisely came down.

His hair was brushed but still kinda messy like usual, but stopped and looked at me across the room weird without saying anything for a minute. Then he moved right in front of me and I had to stop myself from choking on the breakfast bar as his lips suddenly attached themselves to my now exposed collarbone and I felt his tongue slick over the skin. But after recovering from almost choking, I let my fingers play in his hair as he worked just below the moved collar of my shirt to give me the biggest hickey of my life.

And as he pulled back to look at it, I had to watch him. "What was there for," I asked him slowly and even I could hear the want in my voice. He simply smiled up at me before his eyes looked back at the purple and nearly black blob.

"Now were even," he told me before pulling his own collar with a single finger so I could see a similar purple and nearly black blob at the end of his collarbone, toward his shoulder.

And then he told me to go change and meet him at his car. And I learned that morning that Wisely can drive, but he hardly ever seems to care. He goes at his pace on the road. And when we got to school, pulling in just as the bell was ringing- he didn't let me get out of the car without pulling me across the console and kissing me hard again.

"Act natural, kay?" I only nodded back before he pecked me again and we slid out of the car.

* * *

><p>"<em>Oh, I could lead a stationary life<br>Oh, you will see and you'll believe  
>My love is carried to you by my feet<br>My bones are wrong sometimes  
>Sometimes my bones are wrong…"<br>_"Betrayed By Bones" -Hellogoodbye

* * *

><p>While we were walking up the side walk, I noticed Jas still standing just outside the building. He was smirking as we walked up, shaking his head. But then he leaned off the wall, his blond hair pulled back in braided rows on his head an then down his back, it was to his mid-back then.<p>

And then he held out a folded piece of paper between his pointer and middle fingers, aiming for Wisely. "From the pinhead," He seemed amused as he said it, and again I wanted to know what Jas knew, "He seemed rather miffed this morning- you guys have a fight?"

Wisely scoffed and shook his head, taking the note as we moved passed Jas and throwing it in the bin next to the door. "You could say that," was all he said and then the three of us were moving inside. Wisely said a quick goodbye as he began up the stairs, while Jas and I moved to my locker, which we both used- though his was right across the hall.

"So," he began as I spun the lock open, "What happened?" After a moment I looked at him as I clicked it open, and then I was looking back into the locker, digging out my book in the deserted hall, and I could feel that illegal grin pulling at my lips. "Mmhmm," Jas concluded, "I figured." And I had to chuckle a bit.

And I was placid all day. I didn't see Wisely in the halls though, expect when he was moving. I saw Johnson's usual group of idiots though, and they all turned to pin both Jas and I with weird looks. I didn't snap at anyone, I paid attention in class- it felt weird, feeling content. Not being angry.

I didn't mind it.

Especially at lunch when Jas and I were sitting at one of the tables inside- it was raining- and suddenly Wisely was being pulled across the room but the same small girl we'd seen the other day. "Hey," she greeted us as Wisely smiled crookedly. Jas looked smug and I know I was grinning. "Mind if we sit?"

"Not at all," Jas answered for both of us, sounding more aware of what was happening than he intended to let on. And as Wisely settled on one side of the table and the girl- Mimi- to the other, I threw him a 'tell me' look, which Jas merely grinned to- a grin close to my illegal grin, but that said 'no.'

"Uhm," Mimi was asking then, but Wisely cut her off.

"It's a twin thing."

"Oh," she concluded.

* * *

><p>"<em>And it's not so conventional<br>It sure as hell ain't normal  
>But we deal, we deal…"<br>_"Camisado" -Panic! At The Disco

* * *

><p>Mimi became a good friend of our over the next few weeks. I found out a lot about where Wisely had been when he never came home- Mimi's and rarely Johnson's. Apparently the small girl was a freshmen that year, though she acted like she was younger than us. And apparently she had hated Johnson since she had met him the year before. She'd been attached to Wisely since he'd saved her from some bullies at the beginning of that year.<p>

One night while we were laying around in my bed, Wisely's cell phone was suddenly ringing in his pants pocket on the floor. And I laughed as he glared at it before moving to retrieve it. But when he answered I could hear the frantic voice on the other side.

"Well, hello to you too," was how he greeted her, and I could hear her as she screamed at him.

"Mimi," I asked and he nodded as suddenly she was quieter.

"No," he answers whatever she had asked, sighing, "Yes, seriously… Dev." He seemed uncertain about telling her I was there. And the giant girly-squeal that came across the speaker told me why. "Yes, I'm at home," he told her again when he eventually put the phone back to his ear. And I remember sitting there, in my boxers, listening to her interrogate him and just laughing at her questions and his reluctance to answer most of them.

I was just happy that he was there.

* * *

><p>"<em>But there is always so much distance can't but feel it somehow<br>But you have never ever felt it like you feel it right now  
>I'm closing off inside and I was only just starting<br>But you can't be close enough unless I'm feeling your heart beat…"  
><em>"All Of Your Love" -Hellogoodbye

* * *

><p>But then I steadily began to notice something. Seemed my anger had been transferred to Jas- though he did far less destructive things with it. January was a pain that year- the snow never seemed to stop.<p>

But being trapped in the house was odd, because for once everyone was there. Wisely slowly worked his way back into the family, even with the occasional fight with Cyril that involved a lot less screaming either way. Maggie told me it wasn't about any one thing, just everything all together.

But it was one of those snowed in days where I noticed a familiar tension in Jas' shoulders, as he sat at the kitchen table glaring out the window. Without saying anything I took the chair on the opposite side facing the one next to him. He didn't say anything for a long while, but I watched the anger, agitation, and uncertainty swim along his face and I wondered what happened.

"You know," he began, "It never bothered me." I knew he was talking about Wisely and I. "I never saw both of you as brothers, just you." I nodded- Jas was probably the only one who knew everything. "But…" he didn't let himself finish but I could figure it out.

I'd noticed the change in their behavior for a while. Rhode just seemed confused when he'd give her the cold shoulder, but that was Jasdero's way of separating himself. You can't treat someone like a cousin, if you see them as something else- I knew that.

But I didn't know what to do about his situation. Rhode never seemed to broadcast herself in the family much, and it was always hard for me to read her.

So instead I pulled him up to my room and forced him to play rock band with me. Wisely laughed at us when he came in a while later, then he sat on my bed and watched us. He tapped at the computer, as we played though song after song. Jas had gotten better and better at rhythm though the years, I'd gotten better at bass- we both had our choice though, cause Jas was always better at piano than drums, but his voice was even better than that.

Then, not even Wisely had heard me sing.

* * *

><p>"<em>Hey! They will never be the same,<br>A fire in a flask to keep us warm  
>'Cause they know, I know<br>That they don't look like me,  
>Oh they know, I know<br>That they don't sound like me…  
>You'll dance to anything!<br>You'll dance to anything!…"  
><em>"Hurricane" -Panic! At The Disco

* * *

><p>On the third night of the snow in, I had sex with Wisely for the first time. It just kind of happened- neither of us really thought about it… Well I did, because I had been psyching myself up since he told me I was top with "I don't like it." I didn't ask why he didn't like it, but I figured out that I really didn't mind it… <em>At all<em>.

'Cause, yeah, he would moan when I sucked him off, but penetration made him mewl and moan so much more, so much better- I could have cum from just those noises. And then I'd have to mouth rape him when we got too loud. Thank god my bed didn't squeak- Jas probably would have killed me in the morning instead of the lazy glares he did give me. Then I grabbed a few bananas and disappeared back upstairs, and we ate them in my bed.

I decided I liked sex- Wisely laughed and blushed a lot when I told him that.

I figured out through those four days that our family was glad Wisely started coming home- Maggie gave me a coy smile when she agreed- but they wondered why he had. No one seemed to know what was going on, just that we had gotten closer. Jas decided to stay close to both of us, so they were thinking it was just _us_ that had brought him back, not singularly _me_. I figured it was better that way.

Jas didn't actually get a visual affirmation for a while. But shortly after Wisely's birthday, I had asked him to play some game with me and he hadn't made it to my room to do it yet. And Wisely came in, a white bag in his hand- condoms. He shoved it in my side-table drawer and gave me a sideways look. "What?" I realized I'd been eye raping him. I just grinned and motioned him over. He came over but just stood there. "The door's open, Devi- what?" I shook my head to tell him I didn't care and pulling him down by his shirt to kiss him.

Wisely could never think when we were kissing, I used it to my advantage often. And this time, by the time Jas made it into my room, Wisely was on my lap and I was working on giving him a hickey on his shoulder. Jas stopped in my door and I could see him over Wisely shoulder. Jas just watched wide-eyed for a moment. He finally chuckled, and Wisely froze. I let go of his shoulder and put my chin on it, wrapping my arms fully around him as I grinned at Jas still just inside the door.

"You're late- I got bored." Jas scoffed immediately.

"Seems like you found some entertainment either way." Wisely merely huffed when he spoke, sagging against me. Then he punched me lazily in the shoulder.

"You did that on purpose," he accused into my neck and I shook my head.

"No," I replied, "But I didn't care if it happened." Wisely huffed again and I could feel him relaxing even more.

"Can you even play like that," Jas asked me then and I grinned.

"Oh yes, I can."

"Alrighty then," Jas called and quickly closed the door and move to the other chair as we turned to play. Wisely merely made himself a bit more comfortable, straddling me and I'm pretty sure he just fell asleep while we played.

* * *

><p>"<em>Is it still me that makes you sweat?<br>Am I who you think about in bed?  
>When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your dress?<br>Then think of what you did  
>And how I hope to God he was worth the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch his skin…"<br>_"Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Off Her Clothes" -Panic! At The Disco

* * *

><p>Things turned into a routine with Wisely, I got used to hiding <em>us<em> from everyone- I didn't like it but I understood it. But as things settled down with us, Jas seemed to go crazy.

I tried to be conscious of him- keep an eye on him, talk to him when I knew he needed me. But I knew there was something going on that he wasn't okay with.

Shortly after the anniversary, things got worse. When before it'd always been me getting us into fights, suddenly it was Jas. He told me to stay out of most of them- and I returned the favor by not listening for the most part. Our roles switched so fast it confused me. He kept things from me and it bothered me- but I figured out fast enough that it wasn't his business to explain. There was a kind of pattern to the people he picked fights with- they were all friends, or friends of the friends. It was a group of them.

But the first time one of these guys came to pick a fight with him, Mimi was with us and as soon as she saw the other guy coming toward us, she was next to him- grabbing his arm and pulling him away. I followed, keeping an eye on the other guys. I knew him, I just didn't know from where.

It was maybe after the fourth time, the first that we were actually sent home, that pieces began to click.

Wisely was released from class and he took us. And I noticed how tense and quiet Jas was about the whole thing until we were actually home. But before I could even say anything he was up the stairs and I could hear his bedroom door shut.

"Do you know what's going on," Wisely finally asked me, sounding about as frustrated as I was feeling. I merely shook my head before he motioned me to the table and started for the bathroom. He came back with a few things a minute later and quickly set about patching up my knuckles, the cut on my eyebrow that I remember hurt like a bitch for weeks and nice busted lip.

And when he was almost done, suddenly the back door burst open and Rhode tore through the kitchen heading straight for the stairs, not even stopping to consult us before I could hear her banging on Jas door, and demanding he '_open up, right fucking now._'

Then Allen slowly made his way into the kitchen, smiled lazily at us and quietly closed the kitchen door behind him.

I can remember how that was the moment when Allen made the return to my life. Before the whole Rhode and Jas fuck-up, Allen hadn't been doing good. I remember that at that time he was sixteen, but he already had his tattoos on his shoulder and back. He got the one on his eyes when he graduated high school, and we all got the hands together when he was a senior. I remember he'd been smoking a lot then, which he still did for a long time- but Maggie usually took them and told him he was killing his beautiful voice. Nine times outta ten, he's just laugh. He quit after Kanda said it stunk though.

But after the accident, like Wisely, Allen kinda ran from the whole family life. I didn't blame him. He'd lost both parents, and then Robin strayed with him- though I still fail to believe she ever really came back.

But right then he'd just wore that lazy grin that he always had, and hung his coat on the back of the chair with his bag and laid his head against the table and, I swear he fell asleep in minutes- even with Wisely and I sitting right there and a war thumping through the ceiling.

* * *

><p>"<em>I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck<br>__Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me…  
>Girl I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of<br>Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?  
>No, no, no, you know it will always just be me…"<br>_"Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Off Her Clothes" -Panic! At The Disco

* * *

><p>I didn't figure out the Rhode and Jas thing for a while, even after that. They fought like AA participants and didn't talk much, but Jas stopped getting into so many fights- meaning I stopped getting into so many fights. And Wisely seemed much happier about that.<p>

And then one weekend morning, Maggie, Jude, Paulie and Finny had gone to the label with Cyril to meet Tyki, and Allen was still dead to the world in his room. Robin still hadn't been coming home much, and I woke up early for some reason- that I still curse daily. So I shuffled out of bed- somehow without waking up Wisely- and began downstairs to get some coffee or something, and… The image that I saw on that morning is still burnt into my cornea.

Because, that morning, I learned heterosexual things could still get me up.

Because Jas and Rhode were having sex on the couch. And even if they were under a blanket and the couch was facing the opposite way from me… The noises were enough.

And I turned around and went right back up stairs- because, well… _I was awake_.

But then later that morning, after Wisely went down stairs- after we had morning sex which he seemed confused about- and I followed at a safe distance, they were right back to hating each other. And I was thoroughly confused. But the look I gave Jas and the look he gave back told me it still wasn't up for discussion.

So we didn't discuss it.

* * *

><p>"<em>He senses something, call it desperation<br>Another dollar, another day  
><em>_And if she had the proper words to say,  
>She would tell him<br>But she'd have nothing left to sell him…"  
><em>"The Ballad of Mona Lisa" -Panic! At The Disco

* * *

><p><em>Heya, again! (Smirk)<em>  
><em>So yeah, Jasdero's got some problems too. Who would'a guessed?... Me.<em>  
><em>And who liked Cross and Cloud? I kinda didn't see them coming, when I first thought about it. But I kinda thought they would work- I hope you agree.<em>

_First off I really wanna thanks everyone who's reviewed on this story. It's now totally beat out the story I've had up for five years at least. (That I'm still getting reviews on.. Wonders.) And I'm really sorry if I don't get replies out to what you say. I try to get them, but I know I probably missed a few._

_But yeah- warning for the wise. Things kinda blow up from here on out. I will say more about this in the next part, but there are reasons that certain things are written as they are. And this side does butt right up to where the went. There is some explanation of 'The Fight' they have at the Gate._

_It follow an Einstein quote logic. "If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough." Just keep that in mind next time. (Smiles)_

_Anywho- Thanks so much for reading everyone. Make my day and review, yes?_  
><em>-Aseru<em>


	10. Brothers, 3

_Heya._

_..._

_This was fast. (Goofy Grin)_

**_Fun Fact_**_: I started writing this story as if Devitto was talking to Kanda, just kinda pouring out his heart. I dunno, just encase you wondered. (Shrugs)_

* * *

><p><em>"All of this pretending makes me feel a bit confused<em>  
><em>You've spent your life losing yourself<em>  
><em>And now you're marked as used<em>  
><em>So you cry yourself to sleep<em>  
><em>On your blanket of snow with your tiara of Barbie doll heads<em>  
><em>And your arms crossed for a pillow<em>  
><em>If you can't make up your mind just how different you should be<em>  
><em>Reorganize your priorities to expect more sympathy…"<em>  
>"I'm Afraid Of Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf" -Murder By Death<p>

**XXX**

_**A-(Not So)-Sexual Man  
><strong>__Side the Third:  
><em>Brother, 3

* * *

><p>That summer was weird… In a bad way.<p>

Wisely and, by some miracle, Robin- only because I never saw her at school even- graduated high school that year. And quickly, Robin took a much different route with her life and announced about a week after graduation that she'd be going abroad to study humanities- meaning she was moving to Germany for college. Cyril wasn't pleased, at first any way. Maggie looked offended- because that was the first time that Robin had sat down with the family for dinner in months, and she did it to drop this bomb. Allen looked like he already knew, but wasn't exactly happy about it. The rest of us were just kinda… _bombed_.

But we all got used to it I think. There'd always been three girls in the family, and now one had decided to extract herself from our woodwork. But we quickly changed from a house of cards to a sheet of metal, and by the time Robin left, we all understood that this was her way of coping with losing them. To her, our family was now only a part of what it needed to be- of what it was, and Robin saw no way those gaping chasms could be closed right then. I still don't think she does, for the most part.

But at the same time we were dealing with that, I was trying to deal with the fact that Wisely was going straight into College. No break, no pause, no summer to catch up even. By July he had an apartment in the city, he was enrolled in classes, majoring in behavioral studies- which he's now changes three times, and actually near a degree in all three… And I was going to go back to living for the weekends.

It sucked. Because I'd gotten so used to him begin there all the time, sleeping next to me- that when he actually moved out, and I had to spend that first night in my bed alone, I didn't sleep. But the reasons were different than before. It wasn't because I was scared, or hurt or angry. It was because I missed him- that regardless that I had him, he wasn't here. _Couldn't_ be here, because- _goddamnit,_ I would never forgive myself if I was what held him back…

That's been a reoccurring nightmare in the years since then though.

* * *

><p>"<em>There exists a melody<br>that just might change your mind  
>Oh if only I knew the key<br>To sing to make you mine…"  
><em>"Saw It On Your Keyboard" -Hellogoodbye

* * *

><p>There was a final climax to the Jas and Rhode thing- and it was one of the worst things I've ever lived through.<p>

I joined Track in the beginning of Freshmen year. Jas took up concert band. I figured out where I knew the guys that Jas always got into fights with, on one afternoon while running track. Because suddenly there was a bus running me over on the tarmac. One of the football players, _number 18, Stuart_- left the field just to tackle me, while in full gear. I passed out on the third punch- he was expelled before I woke up.

I remember waking up with Mimi over me and Jas brewing in the background. "What the fuck," was my first question. Jas was pissed, he didn't have to say anything for me to know that.

And then Rhode was tearing into the room and stopped at soon as she saw me. And her face was blank. Her eyes have never been that wide before, and I don't recall seeing her eyes form those particular lines since or before.

I remember the damage. I had five stitches in my cheekbone, two in the side of my head from where it hit the tarmac, four along my eyebrow. My collarbone was bruised from where he'd held me down. There was bruising on my thigh, from the other place he'd held me down when I tried to kick. My lip was funny shades of purple for weeks. There was slight sight loss in my left eye from the hit to my head that last just over a week. My ring finger on my left hard was broke from when I tried to hit back and hit his helmet, I remembered that. And other than that, I was so confused my head felt like spinning for hours.

'Cause when Rhode got there, Jas immediately told her to leave. And then, when she said no, Jas took her into the bathroom and I could still hear him yelling, even if what he was saying was distorted. Mimi just chuckled awkwardly as we listened.

Long story short: Rhode was having boy-toy troubles and when Jas had started to 'help', things got violent. We're twins- and apparently we both have that crazy protective/possessive streak. But Rhode didn't stop sleeping around- and that's where things got crazy. Then apparently she did, and **stupid** _number 18, Stuart_ got pissed… And tackled _me_ to beat the shit out of me- 'cause I'd _totally_ known _all_ of this.

Rhode is near _nymphomaniac_ status with her libido. I never wanted to know, but I do.

Our family is fucked up.

But the funny part of all of this was when Wisely got to the hospital after his class. He immediately started yelling at both Jas and Rhode to stop being complete idiots. He's adorable when he's angry.

* * *

><p>"<em>Its so far away but I've planned a date<br>And that's at least a start to get inside your heart  
>It might be you and me<br>Oh we could be a team  
>It might be you and me oh just wait and see…"<br>_"Figures A and B (Means You and Me)" -Hellogoodbye

* * *

><p>After the whole Football tackled thing, Rhode hung around more. And oddly so did Allen- or at least I thought it was odd at that time. Rhode hung around more, because though she was in the same grade as us, she'd avoided us most of the time- saying she didn't want to be referred to as a delinquent. But after the whole thing with the football player, I had seen how they'd look at her and she probably preferred being a 'delinquent' than a 'rape victim'.<p>

Her and Mimi clicked like staples. Mimi, luckily, was used to our odd family makeup by this time, so the looks that Jas and Rhode gave each other across the table (as I always kept them) didn't scar her too much.

But I remember the first time Mimi came over for the night. It was a Friday night, which when I pointed out to Rhode, she just smiled brightly. "Oh well," she'd responded. She and Rhode were in my room, playing Rock Band with Jas and I, as we did a lot, when Wisely got home. I'd heard Maggie talking to him down stairs, but continued to play. Mimi played guitar well on Medium, and sulked as Jas got 100% every time on drums no matter what we played. Rhode sang, because we knew Jas was too shy. I played bass, as usual- and Mimi sulked even more as I got 100% too.

"You have to remember," Rhode pointed out, after the third song, "They play this obsessively- as in _every _night." She dealt with it a little better after that.

And then Wisely came up. I knew he did, even as the song blocked out the sound of his entrance. He hung back, sitting on my bed and just watching us. But as soon as I was done, just before the actual end of the song, I turn around and smiled at him- he hadn't been home in two weeks by then. And as he motioned me over, I took it that he didn't care that Mimi was there- though I knew she knew.

Jas made sure to stop us before it got too bad, while Rhode just giggled. Mimi though, had the brightest blush on her face that I'd ever seen. "Well, I guess we're done playing," Jas added, tapping the drum pads to end the game.

"I can still play," I told him and Jas just huffed, while Rhode laughed at that and Mimi's blush got brighter.

"Hey, Mimi," Wisely had to comment and she merely waved a bit, chuckling nervously.

"Nah- we're done," Jas concluded shutting off the system and beginning out of the room before the two girls made to follow.

I shrugged and Wisely merely grinned.

* * *

><p>"<em>The sins of my youth<br>All these mainstream made emotions  
>Made me the boy that they wanted me to be<br>But when I took down my defenses  
>For the first time there was something in me<br>Yah something in me  
>Hot like a smoking gun<br>Back when I was young  
>I've got these habits that I cannot break…"<br>_"Sins of my Youth" -Neon Trees

* * *

><p>After that, freshmen year seemed to fly. Jas, Mimi, Rhode and I stuck together. Allen seemed to go in and out- the group of friends he had before seemed to all but vanish and when he didn't plan to be with us, I hardly ever saw him. I worried about him though, I won't lie about that.<p>

The first time I ever saw him alone, was when I had gone to stay with Wisely for the first time. Actually- Jas, Rhode and I had gone to stay with him, but Jas and Rhode just hung out at his apartment while we went out.

It was a medium sized club, a few blocks from Wisely's apartment. Wisely said he'd gone a few times and shrugged when I gave him a look. But inside, it was different. The rooms were modular, not like any club I'd seen or imagined before. But I liked being out with him, because there no one knew he was my brother and it was the first time I ever kissed him outside one of our rooms. He grinned and blushed and tried to act like it hadn't happened- I just grinned and did it again.

But then I saw Allen sitting in the back of the room.

Walkers don't exactly blend into any crowd- and as Allen's steel eyes met mine, his white hair looked nearly blood red from the lights, and the red sequined dress of the small girl on his lap. But it was that smirk- that looked so much like Neah's, and the way his eyes mocked me- reminded me of when Adam knew I did something wrong and wouldn't tell him. But there were people around him, people I didn't know mixed with that odd posse that he used to hang out with at school.

"What's wrong," I remember Wisely asking me after a minute before he turned to take in what I was looking at.

In hindsight it kind of looked like there was an orgy of body grinding toward the back of the club. But I remember that small girl who was on his lap and how her hips twisted and knew there was at least a part of an orgy happening back there.

After a long while, Allen finally joined up with us and I was slightly amused with how he didn't say anything about how Wisely and I were draped across each other- but then he came back with us to crash at Wisely's a few blocks toward where the college campus was.

Jas and Rhode were passed out on the couch, the intro to a DVD playing over and over the TV. Allen didn't say anything about them either, but moved to the kitchen after asking for a drink and made it seem like the most normal thing in the world. He hadn't commented on how I held Wisely's hand the whole walk back either.

If I _knew_ too much, Allen _understood_ too much.

Wisely went to take a shower, and after that I moved to the kitchen where Allen stood leaning against the counter looking at the door of the fridge where a blank calendar sat, with Wisely printed school schedule next to it and a few random pictures.

One was of Jas and I, when he'd jumped on my back and demanded a piggy-back ride, and we were both laughing- I remember that we fell over right after he took the picture. There was a close up one of the top of Wisely's head and Rhode smiling at the camera. Then there was one of Allen, Robin, Rhode and Wisely, sitting at the kitchen table at the house- they all looked so young. The last one was of Wisely and Mimi sitting in the living room, Wisely draped over the couch and Mimi sitting in front of him smiling a bit.

But I wasn't really looking at them- I'd seen them quite a few times already. I was looking at Allen. That was the first time I'd seen his shoulder tattoo- the black spindally clock hands that pointed up from his arm. They looked good on him. Then he would have had his back tattoo already too- the round staff paper lined with crooked notes and the family crest in the middle. There was the same exact design on the top of the legal papers for Ark. In Allen's mind, even back then, he belonged to Ark.

I remember that even though he 'let loose' on the weekends- went to clubs, got drunk, and sex with random girls in red dresses sitting right next to the dance floor- Allen made perfect grades, got honors and never blew his top. But that was his balance- he went crazy so he could come back two days later and give his all again. That was how Allen worked best for a _long_ time. He graduated high school first in his class on time, regardless of all the downfalls in the family. He took over Ark when he was seventeen-and a half, but his ideas had been there for years before that. Cyril asked him about most things, because Allen had always thought so much like Neah.

But right then, when I was standing in the kitchen with him, he was my cousin- not The Musician.

"How long have you two been screwing," he asked me suddenly, eyes still on the blank calendar.

"Since last winter," I answered back just as blandly. Allen just nodded a few time and took a drink from the glass of water in his hand.

"Cool," was his reply. And then we were quiet for a bit. I listened to Jas and Rhode sleep in the other room, to Wisely's shower and the sound of the refrigerator running. Then Allen scoffed. "I don't even remember that girl's name." I laughed at him, and then there was a small, sad smile on his face. "Kinda wish I did." I had to nod solemnly to that. I knew what he was getting at.

Allen had his balance, but I don't think he ever really liked it. He wanted something to throw him off, something to make him want to change- force him to do thing differently.

He did eventually, but from that moment when I figure it out to when he did, Allen had a hard three and a half years. His balance rarely failed, but rarely still happened twice. But Allen Walker always came out better for every downfall he had.

* * *

><p>"<em>What can we do better,<br>When will we know how?  
>A man says from a sidewalk to a crowd<br>We can change the weather,  
>If you wanted to yourself.<br>And if you can't I guess we all need help,  
>Yeah, I need help…"<br>_"Mona Lisa" -The All-American Rejects

* * *

><p>At the very end of my freshmen year, our family changed again.<p>

In hindsight it seemed like it should have been before that that it did- but no, it took that long.

It was a very spontaneous Forth of July party, what was suddenly set up because Cyril needed a reason to take a day off- that was Tyki's logic anyway. So we all shipped ourselves out to the manor and shot off fireworks all night.

And that night was when it changed- expanded just a bit. I remember it was the first time we'd all planed a get together for a while. Jas, Rhode and I had become so self-sufficient and Maggie. Jude and Paul had lost themselves in work so far that it felt like I hadn't seen then in year, even thought we lived in the same house. And then suddenly there we two very new people that I felt were already a part of our family.

Because the idea that Maggie would find a man who held her down was odd. Though she fought with him at every turn, he fought valiantly right back- regardless that Cross Marian was a very odd fellow altogether- they seemed like patchwork. And then Finny seemed like he was completely pacified with the uniquely beautiful Cloud Nine perched on his lap with his head on her shoulder and his eyes closed. And it was so easy to understand how they fit and what made them work.

Rhode told Wisely and I that Cloud worked for the record, played rhythm too, which was how they met. Cross was a scout for the company, too- so in a way they had already been part of our extended family, but this just made them more. And they belonged right there- right where they were right then. Because that spot fit both of them.

* * *

><p>"<em>It was always you<br>Falling for me  
>Now there's always time<br>Calling for me  
>I'm the light blinking at the end of the road<br>Blink back to let me know…"  
><em>"Always" -Panic! At The Disco

* * *

><p>And then everything went to hell- that's pretty much all I can call it.<p>

Because when Wisely started back into classes and I began my sophomore year, I feel like we fell apart. His classes demanded a lot of time (he always took too many) and in third week of the year, Jas and I began to work at the label.

We talked on the phone and online, but within a few weeks it felt like he was a stranger- and it scared me. But I never told him that.

I never pushed him to stay near me- to stay in contact, at least. I'd text him, but I never could tell him how much the vague answers I got back bothered me- how the conversations that just seemed to _end_ ate at me.

I'd loved him as long as I could remember, but I'd never told him that- I'd never asked him how long he'd wanted to be with me. Or if he'd ever even wanted to stay with me. But I knew his school was important to him, I knew that the small stuff he did for the label was important to him- and I couldn't let myself keep him from things he wanted.

I realized in late October that I'd never really talked to him about our relationship at all.

And then the label threw a Halloween party. By then, I'd only seen him three times since school started. I found him as soon as Jas and I got there- and it was immediately like we just fell back together. The 9Th Gate, where the party was that year- back when only the 9th, 4th and 3rd Gates were actually open- had a casino and hotel attached, and eventually we left the party and got a hotel room. I know it sounds cheesy, but we did- and we stayed up all night, having sex and just talking about stupid stuff that wouldn't mean anything a few hours later.

It made so much sense when we were together- like how when Cross and Cloud came to the Forth of July party- and it just _worked_. He was there and I was there, and it worked.

And then around five the next morning, when we were just laying there- he was turned sideways on the bed, his head almost falling off the edge, arms out to his sides, knees bent, completely naked, hair a total mess- he, oddly, asked me. "What are we doin', Devi?"

And thinking about his tone, I wondered why I hadn't thought about his end? And after a second, I laughed a bit and moved over to lay next to him. He just looked confused, even as I kissed him.

And I told him. Maybe it's stupid to think about- that we'd been together, _like that_, for nearly a year, and I somehow hadn't told him yet. But it seemed to make him feel better I guess, and we finally curled up and pulled up the covers and sleep halfway though the next day.

We had to work for it though. I remember the following weekend, he called me around five in the afternoon on Friday, just after I'd gotten out of track. And we piddled around a conversation full of long pauses before I finally figured out there was something he was trying to ask me. "Do you want to come get me," I asked him.

"Yes," was his immediate response. And then we both laughed about our stupidity for the rest of the weekend, until he took me home Sunday night.

Jas and I both got our license as soon as we turned sixteen, because Cyril wouldn't let us before then- but he would get us cars, he's a bit odd. Jas's first car was a black and orange CRX, mine was as black and red civic. And after that, I went to see Wisely more, Jas and Rhode- sometimes Mimi- would usually come, drive separate and go do their own thing. Mimi always said she felt like a fifth wheel though, so she didn't come much.

* * *

><p>"<em>Waiting for the end to come<br>Wishing I had strength to stand  
>This is not what I had planned<br>It's out of my control  
>Flying at the speed of light<br>Thoughts were spinning in my head  
>So many things were left unsaid<br>It's hard to let you go…"  
><em>"Waiting for the End" -Linkin Park

* * *

><p>At the end of my Sophomore year, which as Allen's senior- the entire family got together and all agreed that we would get tattoos for the anniversary. We all agreed to get the same stars on the back of both hands, but that what we put inside would be our own choice.<p>

Robin, who we all still talked to, even came home to do it with us- and though she left a few days later, it was enough. She got the family crest inside.

I remember, immediately, Allen go the lines of piano keys, that looked as if you could see through his hands if he were to lay his hands of a piano's keys.

Wisely got lines of staff paper with random notes on them.

Rhode got three scrabble pieces tattooed in the insides of both- the letters W, K and B- the first letter of all of our last names.

Jas got the cut outs off cliché Halloween trees, but I knew what he was thinking about- that tree in the back yard of the manor that we would always play in- that Adam always told us to not '_break our necks_' in.

I got the Kanji for family in mine, because it was the whole reason we were getting them at all.

Jude got a white feather in his that looked like it was dropped on water with the ripples that came out.

Maggie, Cyril, Tyki, and Paul couldn't decide right then.

Cyril eventually got large gothic 'N' in his- for Noah.

Tyki ended up getting these odd butterflies drawn into his- he called them Tease, but he would never tell me what they actually were for, wouldn't even tell Rhode.

Paul got little flames in his- said it was for the 'fire of family'. I try to avoid actually talking to him, cause Paulie's a little strange. Maggie calls him silly more than anyone I've ever seen- but he makes her laugh.

And Maggie eventually got roses, cause Mana loved roses like Adam loved those vines that he grew in the study.

No one asked Lulu, but I think she got it a few days after the rest of us- even though none of us told her. When I saw them once, it looked like she had little hearts detailed in them.

* * *

><p>"<em>Things have changed for me, and that's okay.<br>I feel the same, I'm on my way,  
><em>_And I have changed for me, and that's okay…  
>I want to go where everyone goes,<br>I want to know what everyone knows,  
>I want to go where everyone feels the same…"<br>_"Green Gentleman (Things Have Changed)" -Panic! At The Disco

* * *

><p>Allen graduated high school that spring. He got an apartment right near Wisely, and before the summer was over he was running Ark. But he made it perfectly clear that he would be taking a few classes in the fall at the same university as Wisely, too. Wisely seemed happy about it, at least.<p>

He also made it perfectly clear that with the skills Jas and I had, he wanted us to perform. Like on stage, with fans and our own music. I didn't lie to Jas, the idea sounded kinda awesome to me, but Jas was still really shy back then- the mere idea gave him anxiety. Wisely said we could work him up to him, Rhode just sat there encouragingly and said she'd help with a wink. And that conversation was over- with a blush so massive on Jas' face it went down his neck. But Allen kept bringing it up.

And by the time we went into our Junior year, Jas had agreed. We went to school, we came home, we went to work on music. With Jas' piano and rhythm skills we did alright for a while. Wisely eventually started coming back home on the weekends to help with guitar parts. And oddly, the lyrics came to him pretty easily.

It was an afternoon like that, when Wisely first hear me sing- Jas had heard it some for a few weeks by then, but I still wanted to slap that smirk off his face when Wisely turned to gape at me. "What," was my only defense, while Jas grinned and Wisely gaped. Then I ended up throwing a pencil at my brother and knocking Wisely off his stool before suggesting we get back to work. Truth be told, if I had been in Jas' shoes, I would have been just as shy.

Our first demo was done in just under two months. Allen had started school in there- Wisely told me, about how he was, the stuff they talked about, and that was how I first heard about Kanda.

But we continued working, even as I literally passed it off to Allen and he turned to pitch it. In the second week of November we were given a chance. With work on the album in full swing- Wisely and Cloud both in and out to help us wherever they could, Allen stopping by just to check on how it was going, Rhode popping in to see if she could hear anything _wonderful_, before Jas would clam up make her leave- Junior year flew.

We both somehow passed the year. I still felt like I grew apart from Wisely again, even though he was over every other day practically helping with stuff. But with Cloud there most of the time, we couldn't just sit down and be us. Cloud was part of the family, and I was pretty sure she already knew- but I didn't want to scar the poor woman, or make her think our family was that much worse off. And when he had just been next to me for three hours, I felt weird calling him when he would leave.

Through the entire process though, Wisely told me about things with Allen and more and more about Kanda, and from listening to the things that Wisely said- to how he described him, I could almost hear Allen's scale tipping, I listened to the things that he did that were so different from the Allen that I knew- I could hear in Wisely's observations that Allen had found his weight. I got along with Kanda before I'd even met him. I met him on New Years and liked him even more- he thought we were all crazy.

The album was finished to both of our satisfaction in early May- which from what Allen told us, was fast. And suddenly I felt like I had so much time. Even with all the meetings about legal stuff and other hoopla that went over my head, there was still moments when I sat down and suddenly felt like I _should have_ been doing something, only to think about it and know I didn't have anything.

And then Junior year was over, and I practically moved into Wisely's, while Jas moved into his guest bedroom- because it was closer to Ark. And it was awesome, to wake up to him crawling into bed after he had just gotten back from class only to have him laugh at me and tell me I should try to be up before three in the afternoon. But then we'd take a nap, I'd actually get up and he'd do his homework while Jas and I worked in the living room on stuff for the future.

And then the album blew up. The radio single was an 'instant hit' like Allen knew it would be and then there were a lot less of those moments, 'cause I was always busy again.

* * *

><p>"<em>There are no raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses<br>Sleeping with roaches and taking best guesses  
>At the shade of the sheets and before all the stains<br>And a few more of your least favorite things…"  
><em>"Build God, Then We'll Talk" -Panic! At The Disco

* * *

><p>At seventeen, we became <em>stars<em>… or some shit like that. It didn't feel like anything changed really, other than that we put ourselves out there to be photographed. There were interviews, and guest appearances. I got good at scooting around the 'who are you with' questions- Jas and I both did.

But the family was famous, and it multiplied with us. We made the family more famous, the family made us better known. That tattoos on our hands were a double edged sword- everyone knew about them, everyone knew who we were because of them. Maggie's band that had been semi-well known suddenly got bigger when they released a new album shortly after us. And then we were feeding each other's fame.

Cyril took us out of public school, put us in online classes. Then the company higher-ups were pushing for a tour. Allen said no even. We wanted to finish high school. The label executives didn't seem to care. It made news. Everything blew up and started moving so fast.

And somewhere in there, I lost him. I stayed with him, but with Wisely's school and my whirlwind of a life, plus the online school- it felt like I never saw him. Jas eventually got his own place, that we called our's so the media couldn't ask why I was living with Wisely. It was like when We lived with Maggie, Jude and Paulie, but never saw them so it was like we didn't.

But it was worse, because he got distant- like something else was eating him, something other than us. He closed himself off, and I hated it. But he never pulled away, just never put it all out there anymore. There was something wrong and no matter how much I tried to ask him he would never tell me.

Senior year seemed non-existant with only online things. I hung out with Jas and Rhode a lot, because Wisely always just told me to go.

Then Jas and Rhode had a fight shortly before Halloween, about him hanging out with Mimi too much- she was a girl and thought he was cheating. She's a very silly girl. But Jas saw how frustrated I was with Wisely, he could always see it. But Jas was totally drunk, and I was nearly, and he told me about how they'd 'experiment'. I never thought about how Jas might have slept with other people- to be honest, I hadn't wanted to know.

But then I was, and we were drunk and there was this cute guy on the floor that had the same build as Wisely and, before I knew it we were in a mess and I was still so drunk.

And I felt like a fool. I woke up in a hotel room with Jas next to me on the other side of the bed and I felt like I was eight years old again.

And I remember that feeling, that shattering feeling that made me feel like I'd just totally lost all hold on my life. I didn't cry though- even though my eyes stung and I felt like hurling, I didn't cry. I sat up slowly, noting that the miscellaneous guy was on the floor totally gone still. And I pulled on my jeans, over my boxers, wondering if I'd actually had sex with him even because I didn't feel like I had. I grabbed my cell phone off the night stand and still shirtless walking into the bathroom and sat on the toilet lid.

And sitting there, listening to the florescent lights above the mirror buzz, I tried to figure out when I lost my grip. I can think back now and note that it was probably just after the beginning of Sophomore year, I've said this already, but it all went to hell way back then.

I held the five key and waiting for him to answer. Seven rings later he didn't and it went to voicemail. Ending the call I realized it was a Thursday, and he was in class until four- and it was only one-thirty right then. And I wanted to see him so bad. My brain suddenly decided I did, but then my mind was summoning up all the moments in the last year that he had been so withdrawn. And I didn't want to see him- because I didn't want to want him and only have him half there. I needed more than that.

And then I did cry.

And that was how Jas found me twenty minutes later.

* * *

><p>"<em>Give me envy, give me malice, give me a-a-attention<br>Give me envy, give me malice, baby, give me a break!  
>When I say "Shotgun", you say "Wedding"<br>"Shotgun", "Wedding", "Shotgun", "Wedding"…"  
><em>"Time To Dance" -Panic! At The Disco

* * *

><p>It took me three days of hiding out at Jas', watching him and Rhode go on with their life as if Halloween hadn't happened, to finally turn my phone back on. Rhode asked me what was wrong so many times that I finally told her. Jas had told her about the guy, who apparently he had actually had sex with, while I hadn't- there was a little yelling, a bit of arguing- but then they were over it.<p>

"You have to remember," she told me later, "This is how we started- constantly sleeping around on each other. But we get passed it because we'll always come back here in the end. It's where we really want to be."

I had apparently been a lot drunker than Jas in the end.

But when I turned on my phone to sixteen texts and four voicemails, I cried again.

_You didn't come home. Everything alright?  
><em>_Call me?  
><em>_You're not dead are you?  
><em>_Dev?_

And just more of the same. There were even several just blank texts that I knew he would have just been trying to get my attention. But then the texts slowed down and he started leaving voicemails.

"_Dev, it's Wise. Where are you? Call me? Bye."  
><em>"_Hey Devi. It's 8, as in, in the morning. I tried calling Jas, but his phone is off now too. Uhm, just call me back when you get this I guess. Yeah."  
><em>"_Hey, it's me. You'd better not be dead. Love you."_

And the last one.

"_Okay, I'm done calling- cause you're phone either off or dead. I don't know what happened, but I would really like to. Hope you're alright. I love you. Call me back. Bye."_

Then the voicemails stopped and he started texting again.

And as I looked through them, I thought about it- about us. About how I'd known him sixteen years of my life- that I could remember at least. That I'd loved him at least ten of them. That I'd been having sex with him almost four years then. That I'd been telling him I loved him for over a year. And that the night before, messing around with some miscellaneous guy changed none of that. I still loved him just the same.

It was just after three o'clock on Sunday when I called him. He answered on the second ring. "Hey," he answered casually, but didn't leave me time to respond, "Where are you?"

"Jas'," I responded not trying to pick up on the greeting. And then there was a pause. He already knew that- and he already knew something was wrong.

"Are you okay?" And it hurt, it hurt because he already knew, and he probably already knew I had been hurting myself for days because of it and that he didn't have to say anything for it to hurt worse. But he waited, because Wisely knows me better than I know myself.

"I'm sorry," I hadn't planned to say it so obviously. He only hummed back and I could image his head tilting as his eyes closed.

"I know," he replied. And I realized I was already crying again, silently. I felt like a giant baby, because I hadn't even really cried when mom died, or when Adam died, but I was crying now- because I didn't want him to leave me. He sighed again, as if he already knew that too, "I know."

* * *

><p>"<em>Back to the placeWhere we used to say<br>Man it feels good to feel this way  
>Now I know what I mean…<br>Back to the street, back to the place,  
>Back to the room where it all began, hey<br>Back to the room where it all began  
>'Cause it's nine in the afternoon…"<br>_"Nine in the Afternoon" -Panic! At The Disco

* * *

><p>It wasn't fixed, nothing was fixed. Actually it just shattered again a few weeks later.<p>

The cooperates put an agenda in front of Jas and I, for a tour- that would start in the end of January, right after we could graduate. I wouldn't lie, I didn't want to go- but it was part of the job.

_People will love you, people will want to see you_- that's the deal.

Jas was in the same boat. So we signed and we would go. From January to August, a seven month tour, across the country and then six weeks overseas.

I stayed with Wisely still. We slept in the same bed, but we didn't sleep together. But after the tour announcement, it wasn't just that I'd messed around with another guy. I felt like it was that he expected me to do it again. Which I'd already told myself countless times that I'd never get drunk enough again to want to.

Then out of nowhere he told me on a Tuesday that he would probably be going with Rhode and Tyki to crash Allen meeting Kanda's family before Christmas. I laughed about it outwardly, but inside I was a bit bothered- felt like I'd turned into a woman suddenly with all the stupid things that were bothering me.

And I found myself getting mad again- Mad like I hadn't been since freshmen year. Because he was pushing me away again.

And I made it a point to tell him that night. I sat up late, passed when he usually went to bed, and he did- took a late shower and went to lay down. He even stopped in the bedroom door off the living room to look at me where I was messing around with some of the last assignment for graduation, but he didn't say anything before turning to go into the room. I noted he left the door open though. I waited for him to shut off the light before I shut the down the computer and moved into the room.

This was backwards of how it usually happened. I usually went to bed early anymore- sleep less than I used to either way- and got up early. But to me, it was fine, because I used to go days without sleeping at all, unless he was next to me.

I knew he was awake though, as I took off my shirt, took off my socks and changed my pants, making sure that I did put my pajama pants on. I slid under the comforter and right up behind him, I could feel him grow alert, but not far enough to be tense. I wrapped my arm around him and perched my chin on his shoulder and looked at the window, where I know he was looking too.

"You know, babe," I told him, and I could feel him relax a bit, "I'm not going anywhere." There was a pause and then he slowly turned over, then halfway under me.

Wisely's eyes are an odd hazel color, have I ever said that?

"I know," he told me, but I could see the resignation in his eyes. There was that feeling that it wasn't just about _us_ again.

"Tell me what's wrong," I asked and I could see the start in him. But before I could ask anything else he looked like he was going to cry- and I was wondering when we turned into children, crying about everything. Then his arms were around me holding me to him, even as he cried quietly. I managed to roll us over and just let him cry on me.

"Say it again," he suddenly asked and I told him again and again, that I wasn't going anywhere, that I loved him. But this time I didn't seem to make him feel better.

* * *

><p>"<em>Through playful lips made of yarn<br>That fragile Capricorn  
>Unraveled words like moths upon old scarves<br>I know the world's a broken bone  
>But melt your headaches, call it home…<br>Hey moon, please forget to fall down  
>Hey moon, don't you go down…"<br>_"Northern Downpour" -Panic! At The Disco

* * *

><p>And three days later, he was gone- left with Tyki early to go to Kanda's, though Kanda didn't know. He called me late that night. I told him not to even say it- I knew it was coming.<p>

There was something else going on. I didn't doubt that- I knew and know that it's not him pulling the strings this time.

"I love you, you fucking know that," he'd yelled it in the parking lot of the Gate that I ran into him at when Mimi and Jas had made me go out. Rhode was angry, I knew that- Jas had wanted to see her. And then he'd kneeled in front of where I sat in the driver side of my car and I could see it screaming at me in his eyes.

"Then why," I had to ask again, even though I felt- _knew_ he wouldn't tell me. But he just shook his head, and kissed me right there.

"_But we get passed it because we'll always come back here in the end. It's where we really want to be."_

It's sick to some- because we're brothers by a piece of paper, because we're both guys. But he's my life- I'd do anything for him.

"Please, Devi," I can still hear him pleading when I close my eyes. "_Please_. I'll fix it- You just have to let me."

I don't even know what broke. But just like when I was little, and he'd make Rhode stop crying no matter what I said- Wisely said he'd fix it, so I knew he would.

The tour went fast, show after show. Then tour buss rides where the six of us would simply sit here and write more songs that once we got them right we'd play at another venue. I got over my stage fright real quick- I close my eyes and just sing, play and try to be happy.

Try to not wonder if it'll be fixed when we get back next week.

* * *

><p>"<em>You are the one<br>You'll never be alone again  
>You're more than in my head - your more…"<br>_"You Are The One" -Shiny Toy Guns

* * *

><p><em>"'Cause when you lose control like that, you can forget even yourself."<em>  
><em>So... How was that?<em>  
><em>(Meek Smile)<em>

_And can I please say that, I love you all, **sofa-king-much**?_  
><em>Everyone who reviews, is amazing- and all you people who Favorite and Alert should review- (Grin)- but you're wonderful too. I mean, <em>seriously_.. I (heart) all of you- to burning flames and back. (Smiles)_

_But this last part of Brother.x (which is what I've started calling my ) is supposed to be so disjointed, because it is Devitto telling a story (that does have a purpose-) and by the end of it he's so confused and frustrated, he doesn't even know what's going on. Wisely's keeping things from him and so he doesn't know everything. (Ah the woes, of First Person Narration.) But the next part will be back in third person and will pick up about the time the twins tour ends- and we'll be back with Kanda and Allen._

_(Smiles)_  
><em>And I'm gonna tell you all that the ending of this caught even me off guard. It just happened and I sat there for a moment and then I literally said, "Oh, that's it." And then I reread it and I had a huge 'Whoa' moment.. This side plot was so tangible (to me at least) it made me want to cry at parts. And I really liked the response I got from the JasXRhode- they're just so cute in my head, and I'm glad they were well-received. (Smiles)<em>

_Thanks for reading. (Grin)_  
><em>-Aseru<em>


	11. Apple Tree

_Hey~._  
><em>I could make some awesome excuses about being worked to death, but instead, I'll let you read, and then make them at the bottom. (Smiles)<em>

_Begin._

* * *

><p><em><strong>A-(Not So)- Sexual Man<br>**__Chapter the Eighth:  
><em>Apple Tree

**XXX**

"_I wanna run and hide  
>I do it every time<br>You're killin' me now  
>And I won't be denied by you<br>The animal inside of you…"  
><em>"Animal" -Neon Trees

* * *

><p>"<em>Hi. You've reached our answering machine. Leave a message if you need to, or call back and we may answer. Thanks.<em>"

_Beep_.

"Hey. It's me." Kanda actually lifted his head up and looked toward the bedroom door, through which he could hear the message being left. "Our flight has been delayed-" He didn't realize he sighed, "So, I'm not gonna make it back before Alma and the others get there- but I still need to talk to you about what happened last night, and, yeah. I'll call you when we land- shouldn't be too late. I love you. Talk to you in a while."

Before he realize it, Yuu Kanda was once again distracted from the e-mail in front of him. Leaning back in the desk chair, that was stationed at the simple white wooden desk in the corner of their bedroom, he didn't really pay attention to his hands at they worked through his hair- pulling on little knots as he went.

_He felt like a bum._

_He needed a shower._

And so with a sigh, Kanda was up out of the chair- not minding the cursor still blinking halfway through a word in the middle of a sentence he didn't really feel the need to finish anymore- Allen had already answered his question anyway. Pulling a pair of loose pajama pants out of the drawer- the last ones in the drawer; he need to do laundry too- and a shirt off the shelf in the closet- there were still plenty of those, somehow- and deciding to continue commando- since he'd run out of underwear a few days before- he made his way sluggishly into the bathroom and easily flipped on the shower.

And as he let the water run over his back a for a few moments before actually beginning to clean up, Kanda made a list- a suddenly, stiflingly long list- of the things he needed to get done before Allen was supposed to get home (but now wouldn't be) and that Alma, Lenalee and Lavi were still going to be arriving.

There was the laundry, as he had already noted. He was in the process of a shower already, for his own personal hygienic needs. But there was also the dishes in the sink that he'd left probably just a bit too long and the dishwasher that was still half full of clean dishes- though most of those had already made it to the sink after being used again.

And for a moment, he was wondering when he had gotten so used to Allen being around to help clean up. Which he answered quickly with, '_he lived here first- Allen had always been there_.' Then he remembered the reason that he hadn't been here for a while and was sighing again. Stupid argument- Deal, _whatever_.

But since Christmas the winter before, it seemed that slowly, Kanda's life had been bridging a gap. Before there had always been his family, and Allen's family- which were both quite crazy in of their own. But recently, it was becoming _their_ family. The two separate entities meshing into an altogether insane ensemble.

His Old Man got along far too well with Cyril, and Maggie's now fiancé, Cross- that was still weird to think even. Lenalee, Rhode, and Maggie were near destructive together. Then, Lavi and Tyki had been getting way too close to be purely platonic, while Lavi and Wisely could talk for hours about miscellaneously random things that would have made no sense to anyone else. Alma and Chaoji- who they'd all just met at Christmas when Robin suddenly announced him as her fiancé (which Allen hadn't been pleased about at all, but that was whole different can of worms) got along a bit too easily, always seemingly able to talk about sports and such.

But then there _was_ Robin, who Kanda had easily taken on as an older sister kind of relationship with- and then the bomb that she'd dropped on both of them last week… Which was an entirely different can of _snakes_ that he didn't want to think about for another two months at least. But- Finny, Cloud and Jude all seemed to get along with Marie, while Cloud and Miranda had even gone shopping together last weekend. Paulie had taken Daisya under his wing and was making even him fit in with them.

And, all the sudden, the two family turned into one and the 'Walker' Family now had a whole new level of Odd. And Yuu Kanda was still trying to decide if that was a good or bad thing.

But then, last night- he gotten a text from Allen, who had been in Texas for the last two weeks (leading to the dirty house) and then had to field a frantic phone call from Rhode, and had been left holding piece to a Walker Family puzzle that he wasn't sure he wanted to hold at all. Because four months ago, just about halfway through the twins tour, Lulu- the outcast Aunt- got a boyfriend, who she already seemed quiet friendly with.

And that e-mail that was still half formed, behind the blanked out monitor, was where he'd been piecing together that puzzle. Because for the last six months Wisely had locked himself away, except for a few moments when he'd opened up or stole Lavi and his paralegal degree in. It was concerning, to say the least.

But with a sigh, Kanda pushed that from his mind and quickly finished his shower.

Then quickly started the laundry, quickly emptied the dishwasher, quickly washed the mountain of dishes in the sink, and then finished the laundry- suddenly realizing he really didn't have that many clothes.

And only as he was moving his notes from last quarter- that he had been reviewing two nights prior back into the bedroom, and onto the bookshelf- did he note that the aforementioned "stifling list" didn't actually take that long. And with a shrug he moved to the bed and face-planted himself there to begin, quickly taking a nap.

Allen would be home finally tonight- so he figured a nap now would be a good idea. Because Kanda defiantly didn't care if as well as Allen being home, that Alma, Lenalee and Lavi would be here- possibly plus a few cousins; because they knew Allen would be home tonight, too. And, quickly, Kanda found he was unable to hold a string of thoughts as he, quickly, fell asleep.

* * *

><p>"<em>Here we go again<br>We're sick like animals  
>We play pretend<br>You're just a cannibal  
>And I'm afraid<br>I won't get out alive  
>I won't sleep tonight…"<br>_"Animal" -Neon Trees

* * *

><p>And he awoke to his cell phone ringing- just over an hour later- and answered before he was really awake enough to answer anything. "Yeah," he heard himself growl out, face still half in the pillow.<p>

"Morning sunshine," he could hear Lenalee laugh on the other line, "What's your apartment number?" And quickly Kanda had his head up and was looking at the alarm clock on the night stand- to find that he'd wanted to be awake twenty minutes ago.

"Shit," he found himself muttering as he maneuvered out of bed, listening to Lenalee laugh at him again. "560, I'll open the door for you."

"Over sleep," she asked then. Kanda had to scoff.

"Yes," then he had his phone snapped shut as Lenalee began to laugh again. Quickly scooting though the apartment Kanda, snapped the dead-bolt of the door off, before making his way toward the kitchen. In a few moments only he had the coffee pot filled prepped and brewing, just as he could hear noise from outside of the now unlocked door.

"Knock-knock," he hear the familiar feminine voice call, also accompanied by a pair of softly bickering males who he knew would be behind her.

"Kanda," Lavi was suddenly asking as they entered his line of sight, "Are those plants in the lobby real?" And Kanda had to sigh as he overcame the urge to actually growl, and just shook his head.

"I don't think so," he mumbled making his way over to the refrigerator- plucking the milk out and making his way back to the coffee pot. Filling a cup from above it and he added a dash of milk, intent on not listening to Lavi grumble.

"Hah," he heard Alma rebut, "I told you." Putting the milk back into the refrigerator, Kanda finally took time, after a long pull of the caffeinated drink, to look up at his family/friends.

Lenalee turned to beam at him, after a quick look around at the room. The small sliver of a kitchen, with a bar that overlooked into the living room and the small offset corner with a table in it- that they used more for work/homework than dinner. The opposite wall that was completely lined with dark bookshelves- including the lower set one that had the large flat screen mounted above it. The terracotta colored sofa and loveseat stationed in front of it, to the opposite side of the room as the work table, the coffee table between them where the other who wasn't at the table would work. A thick bookshelf was even stationed at the end of the loveseat to work as an end table. The book shelves themselves were always neatly lined with numerous books- mostly about music or language, the more compact shelves held the majority of Allen's CD collection, the rest on one of the three bookshelves in their bedroom.

Kanda settled for a nodding tour; "The kitchen," he gestured to the counter under his hand, "the living room," he moved his head over the bar, as Lavi and Alma quieted to listen. "Laundry room it through there," he added motioning over his shoulder to the lone door inside the kitchen. "Down the hall," he moved his head toward the entrance just behind the loveseat, "the door on the left is the guest bed room, door on the right is the bathroom." Then he had to pause, face pulling into a frown, "Stay away from the door at the end, or I'll cut you." Lenalee giggled.

"There a closet by the front door where you can put your shoes and coats and stuff." and he decided to take another drink of the coffee in front of him, as Lavi went to look at the books- Alma kept an obvious eye on him and Lenalee merely watched him.

"Do you sleep, ever?" She decided to ask and Kanda had to look up to meet those teasing violet eyes before rolling his.

"You can throw all of your shit in the guest room and fight over how you dividing sleeping arrangements." And just then, they all stopped at the soft music playing through the house.

"What's that," Alma asked. Kanda sighed.

"My phone." And then the coffee cup was left on the counter as he quickly made his way passed the three, down the hall and into the master bedroom. Finding his phone where he'd left it after waking up to Lenalee's call, he only glanced at the caller ID to see a picture of Rhode smiling largely back at him before answering quickly. "Hey," he felt himself deflate.

"Hey," Rhode mumbled back- only to deflate him more. "They there yet?"

"Yeah," Kanda felt himself sigh, "Just now. The plane got delayed."

"Yep- Tyki called." He heard her yawn before mewling and then the rustling of something- maybe she was still in bed. "Wisely's still out." Kanda merely hummed back.

"You coming over," he heard himself asking, before he actually intended to.

Rhode chuckled a bit, "Yeah, probably. I'm gonna shower first though. Need to talk to Allen."

He found himself nodding. "Yeah."

"And Lavi's there, right," she didn't wait for a reply, "Maybe he'll talk."

Kanda would make him talk. "Yeah."

"I'll text you when I'm on my way, kay, bud?"

He nodded again, "Yeah."

"Later, Yuu."

"Yep." And he hung up- still glad that Rhode was okay with his low vocabulary.

"So why weren't we allowed in here?" His head snapped up to look at Lenalee standing in the door way of his bedroom. And a single eyebrow found itself perched. "It's simple," she said, still looking around the overly white, gray and violet themed room. The white desk, three white bookshelves, that Allen had painted the bottom of the shelves violet, the large king sized bed, that was placed on the floor, with it's white sheets, pillowcases and white/violet/gray striped duvet. Allen's silver laptop on the desk, Kanda's black one on the nightstand. The door to the closet was closed- but inside, he knew, was a mess like always- the door to the master bathroom open to the darkened inside.

"Because I said," was all he could come up with, before walking over to the desk to plug his phone in, seeing as it was almost dead. "Where are the doofus'?" Lenalee grinned.

"Moving our bags into the guest room." Kanda had to shake his head.

"Slave driver," he mumbled and Lenalee chuckled.

"Someone's gotta with those two." Kanda- in his head- agreed.

They were quiet for a minute then, as Kanda slumped into the desk chair, and Lenalee took a minute to look at him. He'd grown, she'd noticed that last Christmas, and the several times he'd come home since- both with and without Allen.

But, there were other things that had changed, too. He acted different now- more _observant_, if she had to name it. In high school, Kanda was the first one to jump into a fight if it peaked his query- especially when it came to Lavi, both with him and for him. Because if there was one thing the red-head had expressed he wanted to have done differently in those days, it was _stay in the closet_. Because in high school, being gay could just turn out _that_ bad.

For Lavi it had- and maybe that was why they'd never heard about Kanda- before last Christmas anyway. That was the only things she still didn't know, too- why he hadn't told them.

Allen had explained most his job- told them (with threat of death from Tyki) that the Musician was no one person, but usually Wisely or himself. They were The Musician. Though that meant he still owned Ark Records, one of the largest labels in the nation- nearly world now with the twins' tour on it's last show. That still meant he was the guy that their friend/brother had been dating for other a year- living with for a while, too. That still meant he was a bit intimidating.

But Lenalee, after hanging out with Rhode and Maggie- her _idol_- a few times, had learned that the Walker/Kamelot/Bell family was just as screwed up as any other. Finding out that Rhode was living with the Bell brothers, made her head spin. Learning that she'd been sleeping with Jasdero for years- like, since they were fourteen- made her nearly gape. Finding out that Devitto Bell was ten stages passed gay, made her actually gape- and that he'd been dating Wisely for (_again_) _years_, made her squeal.

She'd met them all nearly now, except for the elusive Jude, who she'd almost twice, but then not.

But it still hadn't measured up with how all of Allen's family seemed to listen to Kanda without him having to raise his voice. Rhode had said it was just because for a while Allen had been the 'leader' the their family. "Even compared to dad or Tyki, Allen stepped up when we needed him. He's the strongest of us- that just what we're used to thinking."

And then, as Wisely had said- one of the few times she'd seen him since he'd taken off from the 6th Gate at Christmas, at Rhode's birthday party- "Allen wasn't always so domestic- he used to be a real night creature." They'd all laughed and Allen had just rolled his eyes and leaned back against Kanda a bit more. It'd been weird to see her long time friend so… _touchy_- but that night at Rhode's birthday party, everyone seemed to be extra _touchy_.

But watching down the hall of Rhode's fifth floor apartment- where she, Jas and Dev "lived"- as Kanda and Allen made out… she'd nearly peed herself, and found her eyes unable to move from them. They were such opposites, but the literally fit together like yin and yang. Allen is tactfully tanned, Kanda is as pale as a caveman. Allen's hair was the color of bright lights, Kanda's the color of the night sky. Kanda's eyes were dark, Allen's a bright slate. They only thing they both had was a slender body build and… _parts_. But- Kanda was tall, and Allen just a bit short.

And watching him stand from the desk in his bedroom, Lenalee noted that Kanda was also a lot rougher socially than Allen, who always seemed to have enough cheer to make the best of anything. But they still fit, she had to remind herself as she turned to follow him out of the room and back toward the kitchen- because Allen always knew what even Kanda needed to hear.

* * *

><p>"<em>It's us that made this mess<br>Why can't you understand?  
>Whoa, I won't sleep tonight…"<br>_"Animal" -Neon Trees

* * *

><p>At just after six, Kanda suddenly stood from the couch where they'd all stationed themselves, making Lavi stop telling his story for a second, and poking at his phone Kanda quickly made his way over to the front door, harshly puling it open. Lenalee found herself leaning up from Alma's shoulder a bit as they listened to him roughly greet the people at the door.<p>

"Hey," she heard Rhode coo back and saw her small arms weave around Kanda quickly before she ducked from in front of him. Their eyes met and Lenalee felt herself grin as Rhode flashed her a giant grin.

"Hey, Doll!" Lenalee laughed as she heard Maggie's giant whoop, just as Alma seemed to groan. Lenalee and Rhode instantly laughed at him, as the younger made her way over, instantly latching her arms around Lenalee's neck and plopping her self easily into Lenalee's lap.

"Alma," Rhode was suddenly scolding the dark haired male who was giving her a blank look, "Stop trying to steal my girl." Lenalee found herself laughing, as Rhode grinned at him and Alma just rolled his eyes.

Then Maggie was there, plopping herself down in the middle of the couch as Lavi nodded in greeting, though his eyes went right back to the door. Lenalee found herself following his eyes to where Kanda was still standing with Cross and, oddly, Wisely- where they were tucking jacket and shoes into the closet.

She couldn't make out their harsh whispers, but she saw Wisely shake his head slowly- his face pulling back in a tight smile as he gave what she now knew as his 'I'm not happy, but I'm going to smile 'cause it will change the topic' smile. She saw, more than head Kanda sigh as they both turned to follow Cross into the living room where they all quickly sat themselves down. Cross next to Maggie, Kanda taking a spot on the floor just under the television, and Wisely turning one of the chairs on the dining room table.

There was a quick catch-up between the guys, and then Lavi, not so subtly, took the remote and turning the large flat screen on for background noise.

The younger red-head seemed to be one of maybe two in the room, who knew of the underlying problem, that had Rhode contemplative in Lenalee's lap, Wisely wistfully staring at the wind out the window across the dinning room table from him, and Kanda with his eyes closed and head back against the bookshelf under the quietly distracting sitcom- and he was pretty sure it was better that way.

Because when Allen and Tyki got back, in a few hours time, this quiet raining on their evening, was going to turn into a typhoon. Wisely had known Allen was going to be happy- that there was no way he could see even the smallest silver lining it this- and Tyki would be angry for sure.

Then he had off-handedly pointed out to Lavi's nonchalance, that the red-head had never seen _Allen_ angry. "You've seen him miffed, maybe offended," Wisely had said, "But you've _never_ seen him out for blood." And there had been a look in his eye that assure Lavi he would- because if there was one thing he had learned, had seen, it was that to the Walker Family, their kin were everything- The people they loved ruled their lives.

He'd seen it quite a few times in the last year. All from when he'd been working with Wisely, and the white-head had stopped mid-sentence to answer a phone call from Dev of all people- when he knew they hadn't been talking much. He'd seen the look on his face as he answered every question in a hushed voice- "_Yeah; No, I'm working on it; You know I do; I'll answer if you call_"- it honestly wrenched his heart out. "He can't know- he'd be worse to deal with than Allen," and that was the only reason Devitto Bell was being kept in the dark about this recent atrocity. But he'd also seen it when Rhode talked to Jas on the phone, day after day. At Kanda's birthday with how happy Allen looked simply being able to watch in the background. With Maggie and Cross, even if it was hidden up slight jabs, and outwardly evil words. And… with Tyki-

But he wasn't going to go into that now.

He'd seen how the Walker/Kamelot family loved each other, and anyone they loved who was brought in. Now including himself, Lenalee and Kanda's family. And seeing- having been helping Wisely through all of this… He honestly felt that same raging need to vindicate. To kick that rotten apple as far from the familial tree as possible.

* * *

><p>"<em>What are you waiting for<br>Take a bite of my heart tonight  
>Oh oh<br>I want some more  
>Oh oh<br>__What are you waiting for?  
>What are you waiting for?<br>What are you waiting…"  
><em>"Animal" -Neon Trees

* * *

><p><em>Well, hello- again. (Grin) So yeah, I've been working to an early death and I'm super sorry.<em>  
><em>On a lighter note, I am alive. (Smiles) And I did have a birthday. (Grin)<em>

_This chapter, though, as you can probably tell- is a set up. It **is** a trap. (Chuckles) But seriously, it is. I didn't intend it this way, but I guess there's the opening- which is kinda 'Meet the Family'; and then there's Brothers, where we see a familial struggle; and now we have the "Second Part", I guess. Which I guess has a lot more plot... Or will. (Chuckles) - If I don't **die first**._

_(Sigh) But as always, please review. Again, I am sorry it took so long... It's been crazy 'round here._

_Thank you for reading,  
>-Aseru.<em>


	12. For Us

_Heya._

_So- I'm not gonna lie, I have been waiting for someone to ask me about sexy-time... And no one has. But for those of you who may have thought about it... Here ya go!_

_(Cackles!)_

_Go for gold, or go home!_

* * *

><p>"<em>I got close<br>__To your skin  
><em>_While you were sleeping  
><em>_I taste the salt on your hands  
><em>_I reached out to touch you  
><em>_The morning light disarms you  
><em>_Won't you let me in?..._"  
>"Your Surrender" -Neon Trees<p>

**XXX**

**_A-(Not So)-Sexual Man_**  
><em>Chapter the Ninth:<em>  
>For Us<p>

* * *

><p>As soon as they heard keys jingle outside the front door of the apartment, all of them were silent. They listened to the lock turn, and then the door push open. "No, it's just stupid," they could hear Allen conclude and then Tyki chuckle. "Hey guys," the white-haired man greeted as soon as his shoes were off and he was moving to step into the space.<p>

"Hey," Rhode replied in a sing-song as she smiled largely at him, quickly standing from the couch to move over to him. Kanda didn't care to bother to hide the small smile on his face- seeing that nothing had changed, Allen was still the same. Though he wasn't sure why he expected that to have changed in the last two weeks.

Tyki moved into the room behind him, quickly making his way over toward where Wisely and Lavi sat at the kitchen table now- ruffling Maggie's hair on the way- she giggled- and patting Cross on the shoulder- he let out a 'hello' grunt- and seating himself at the chair between the them. Allen gave his hello smile and nod to Alma and Lenalee, before smiling at Kanda.

And with a sigh and a simple smile, Allen was looking toward the table where Wisely and Lavi sat. "Can we deal with this in the morning?" And as he asked, Kanda knew it was as close to begging as Allen would go. Wisely only let a small smile take his face, before he gave a small nod.

"Welcome home," the elder white-haired male called, his voice tired and sounding unused. Allen gave a grin to than.

"No joke," He agreed and Maggie giggled- and instantly the tension was out of the air.

* * *

><p>"<em>I lose control<em>  
><em>When I hear your body move<em>  
><em>And<em>  
><em>I'm dying to break through<em>  
><em>To the next room...<em>"  
>"In The Next Room" -Neon Trees<p>

* * *

><p>They ordered pizza- Cross somehow managing to talk Allen into buying- and they talked. And Kanda felt like- for a second- everything was right again.<p>

But then there were moments, lapses in the conversation where he knew they weren't- and he should have pointed out how Wisely didn't touch the three pieces that Lavi had stacked on a plate for him. He'd look down at them every now and then, cringe and quickly start a new conversation.

And then, just passed eight-thirty, they all left. Lavi with Wisely and Tyki, while Maggie and Cross took Rhode. And after sitting around on the couch, with a napping Alma and his thoughts- listening to Allen and Lenalee as they did the dishes in the kitchen sink- Kanda stood and without saying anything walked to the bedroom. Leaving the door open, Kanda grabbed his laptop and laid out on their, back against the headboard and began some random news page hopping. He'd call it a hobby, but everyone else would laugh.

It was a while later- after he had listened to Allen and Lenalee move their conversation into the living room, heard Alma wake up and join them, then the conversation dwindle, then finally the shower in the guest bathroom switch on- that suddenly Allen was shuffling sleepily into the bedroom. "Alma's gonna take a shower and Lenalee said she wanted to read," Allen informed him- Kanda had lived with him too long to ask why. Then the white-haired man was gone inside their giant closet, and Kanda was listening to him rummage around far too much for him to reappear in only a pair of ancient red basketball shorts and kick the door closed before promptly faceplanting into the bed next to where Kanda lie.

He didn't fight the short chuckle at his boyfriend's behavior, before continuing to scan through the article on the screen in front of him- even as he knew those gray eyes watching him.

"Will you give me a massage," Allen finally just asked, and Kanda had to chuckle again, listening to the half distorted voice, because Allen hadn't even lifted his head from the comforter to ask.

"Hold on," Kanda replied not taking his eyes from the computer screen- he knew Allen was smiling anyway, face still half in the bed. He pretended to finish the article, even though he'd lost interest in even the latest war because Allen was just starring at him again. Grumbling quietly about stupid politics, Kanda shut the laptop down and then moved to the edge of the bed, perching it on the nightstand. Allen then quickly repositioned himself in the middle of the king sized bed, leaving Kanda to take up his usually nightly position on the round of Allen's butt.

It was a nightly thing nearly. Allen would come home from work, Kanda would have gotten out of class earlier, and would be doing homework in the living room or bedroom- and the white-haired male would plop down next to him, on the bed or couch, and they'd just relax for a while- talking sometimes, others not. Then Allen would demand they decide dinner- Kanda never cared- so Allen would either make something and pester Kanda into helping, or they'd order out. And then they'd clean up dinner, and Kanda would move to the bed while Allen went to take a shower- coming out to faceplant into the bed, and sometimes without asking, he'd get a massage. Kanda had found early in this ritual that he was usually able to relax just by giving the massage- he didn't care to think about why. But he also wasn't an idiot- and he knew, nine times out of ten, Allen or himself would get aroused halfway through.

But as he moved his fingers over the black tattoo on Allen's upper back and then over his shoulders- one tattooed too- then lower over Allen's spine, he could feel the white-haired male taking the much less traveled effect of his massages- relaxing so fast that he would fall asleep, and then would probably wake up about an hour later horny as fuck. And true to his guess, Kanda felt the breathing in the the body under him flatten out but he kept moving until he knew Allen was good and asleep, then- not that he'd admit it- found himself leaning forward, as always, and laying a small kiss on the back side of Allen's neck, just below where his now-shaggy white hair stopped.

Then chuckling to himself, Kanda retrieved his laptop off the nightstand and laying back down against the headboard- Kanda started as game of Solitaire, listened to Alma's shower and Allen's breathing and smiled to himself.

* * *

><p>"<em>And you look so smooth<br>__You better tell me the truth  
><em>_Would you trade me o__ut for someone cool?  
><em>_I know you better than you do  
><em>_So put out your cigarette __and kiss me on t__he lips tonight..._"  
>"1983" -Neon Trees<p>

* * *

><p>It was another twenty minutes- and well after he'd gone back to news article surfing and shortly after Allen had moved himself in his sleep, making Kanda lay the laptop on the bed, and navigate with one hand, while the other worked continuously through Allen's hair where his head now lay on the right side of Kanda's torso- that Lenalee hesitantly knocked on the bedroom door and stuck her head in. Then suddenly she was a Flaming Tomato color and Kanda was laughing into an early grave in his head. Outwardly though he just smiled a bit, "What's up?"<p>

Lenalee was smiling as she looking around her hand to reassess the situation. Kanda figured that it was Allen being halfway naked, and that his basketball shorts had worked their way up when he'd moved that made her freak out- because Kanda was still in his jeans and blue t-shirt, regardless that Allen's half-asleep hand had managed to worm it's way under said shirt. He heard her giggle quietly, "Just wanted to tell you we're heading to bed." Kanda had to smirk at that, never missing a chance to tease either of them.

"So, that's why you decided to stay the weekend?" He didn't look up from the computer this time, but he was sure she was Flaming Tomato colored again.

"Uh," Lenalee didn't seem to have a come back for that, "Shut up." Kanda just laughed in his head as he noted she didn't deny it. But as he kept his eyes on the article, not really paying attention to it, he felt the squirming of the muscles pressed against him as Lenalee spoke again. "Does he sleep like that all the time?" Kanda could hear the laughter in her question, but decided, as he knew Allen was waking up, not to play along.

"Not all the time. Probably just tired." He let his eyes lift from the computer this time to look at her, noting the small smile on her lips.

"I'm surprised you talking doesn't wake him up," she giggled. Kanda dove for that one.

"He can sleep through a hurricane- I could be yelling at you, and he wouldn't wake up from just that." Like a kid, he reminded himself, as long as you don't try to take their stuffed animal, they'd sleep through anything. Lenalee seemed to understand as she smiled, and then gave a small nod.

"Well," she chuckled now and Kanda had to smirk, "Off to bed." He wanted to laugh at the blush on her cheeks. "Night."

"Night," He agreed, "Shut the door, please." And there was a full body still, before Lenalee let out another nervous laugh, her blush doubled, and she dashed out, pulling the door securely closed behind her. Kanda did chuckle that time.

But so did Allen, "That was cruel." Kanda let out an immediate scoff.

"So," he replied, though he knew Allen wouldn't reply. And he was right, because right then, Allen turned so his back was on the bed, and Kanda watched fascinated (and quickly aroused) as the muscles in his body stretched and tensed, coiled and relaxed. He would have put money on it, that Allen did it on purpose. Because, in a fluid motion the stretching ceased and Allen had gracefully pushed the laptop away and seated himself in Kanda's lap.

"Missed you," he heard Allen whisper just before their lips were melding- and not that Kanda would admit it- knocking the wind out of him. It was a mutual thing.

There were a lot of things in his life Kanda wasn't okay with admitting, in public and some even with his family. But he'd always been pleasantly annoyed with how easy talking to Allen was. They fought like cats, but that was how Kanda functioned best- because when they were bickering he found that saying anything was easy and when Allen bickered back. The other male always knew exactly what to say to make him feel like life really was just that easy. But- in the nice kind of way that made him want to slow down and savor every moment. And when with Allen, he always tried to- not that he'd admit that.

But he did savor the feeling of Allen's tattooed hands as they quickly removed him of his shirt and then quickly began to molest him. He savored the feeling of Allen's hair as his left hand ran through it to keep him attached as he moved to sit up a bit, pushing Allen back further against his now very excited self.

He savored every noise, breath and sight that Allen offered him- because Kanda could easily remember the panic that the thought of Allen leaving gave him. He would be lying if he didn't say: half of the time, he didn't understand why Allen stayed with him. But, regardless of the fights, they were both still here. Kanda just didn't know if he was overly willing to change that. But in the last two weeks without him right there, Kanda had reaffirmed that he was willing to do whatever it took to keep him happy.

And in a rare show of need, Kanda softly sat up, Allen still perched on his lap, and pushed the slightly-older man back onto their bed. He let Allen's lips turn into a curious pout as he trailed kisses to the man's neck, only to shoot right back up and kiss him to stop the question he could see coming. "Shut up and relax," he bit out with a glare and then quickly resumed. He heard Allen chuckle a bit, but then felt him relax. Kissing his way down Allen's pale chest, Kanda paid his nipples mind, and more mind to slipping his fingers into the waistband on the basketball shorts and began to slide them down-

And Kanda was trying, really hard, in his head to not chicken out- though Allen mewling as he slide the shorts off and began to suck him off defiantly helped.

He began to work off his own belt only as he felt Allen's still (somehow) functioning toes begin to bat at it. Then moving his hand to secure the leg back against the comforter, and growling deep in his throat to make sure it stayed there, he moved to slip off his pants. A little late, he remembered he'd gone commando today because of the laundry situation- regardless that he'd cleaned them all before Lenalee, Lavi and Alma had showed up. Allen seemed to not mind though and he quickly turned on the bed to begin his work. Kanda wouldn't stop that- ever- because it didn't necessarily mess up his plan.

But he knew he was out of time- wouldn't let himself chicken out either- as Allen finally got impatient and reached toward the nightstand, pushing the laptop up on top of it at the same time and opened the drawer.

"Uhm, hey," Kanda found himself gritting out, arms draping themselves over his eyes, and his erection waning as he felt himself blushing. He hated this. He heard Allen close the drawer, but not move from the edge of the bed, and Kanda hoped he had actually gotten the lube out.

"Yeah," Allen responded slowly, and Kanda could hear the confusion overflowing in his voice.

Kanda cleared his throat, "Uhm," he couldn't help pausing before just blurting out, "Doyouwannaswitch?" And there was a pause. A really long pause, where when he finally moved his arms just a bit to see Allen's face, Kanda felt his erection return ten fold in two seconds, making his head spin.

There was this smile that Kanda knew all the Walker males possessed, that he knew could make any man or woman drop the pants in two second and it was scrolled across Allen's face right that second.

"That's a silly question," Allen finally responded as Kanda felt himself groan and returned his arm over his face, feeling Allen finally begin back across the bed toward him. "But why? You hate it." He felt this pause too, where Allen made his way across the bed, arm stretching over Kanda's hips, as Allen started- knowing that if Kanda had already asked, it was already decided- laying lazy kisses over his hips.

And yes, that was also a fact- they had done it before... with Kanda taking. And yes, Kanda hadn't exactly been fond of it. Allen hadn't been rough, but Allen was also a lot better at making his head spin just the right way that would have him dizzy for days- and Kanda had then gotten jealous and they'd had the second of those four fights that Kanda would have rather not thought about again. Because- Allen had not always been his, and Kanda is crazy-possessive.

His erection was pulsing and Allen had a finger up his ass before he found the right response. "But you do." And regardless that it hadn't made any sense with the question, and that it was nearly three minutes late- Allen paused, and sat up- finger still up his ass and both of their dicks touching. Kanda had intended "Because you do like fucking me" but Allen seemed to understand everything.

"Is that what this is about," Allen nearly squeaked, and Kanda felt his eyes roll before a very odd pause. In which, suddenly Allen's finger wasn't up his ass, and Kanda knew they were both on the same page- because then Allen was leaning over him, lube covered hands holding his face and was kissing the life out of him. Kanda didn't care, and let his own hands slide into Allen's hair again- realizing that as they kissed, Allen was the perfect size for Kanda to fuck, but not really the other way around. But with a tilt of his shoulders Allen's hand was back at Kanda's ass, and Kanda was being prepped again.

And suddenly the tender kind of atmosphere was gone, and there was a heat- where neither seemed to be able to keep their breath. Because Allen was kissing him, and Allen was jerking him off, and Allen had his fingers up his ass- amazingly at the same time, and there was just too much to feel.

And only a minute of so later, Kanda remembered the most erotic sight he'd ever seen- because one of the just right things Allen knew was that Kanda really did love to watch him when they had sex. And watching Allen Walker fall apart because Allen Walker was fucking him, while feeling Allen Walker's dick in his ass, and Allen Walker's hand around his dick jerking him off... That was the most erotic sight Yuu Kanda had ever seen.

Even if, with this decision- taking in Robin's still unborn child, while it's mother and father continued their careers- would lead to it happening a bit less in a few months.

* * *

><p><em>Hi, welcome to the bottom. We have a cannon... No, not really. (Sadface)<em>

_But seriously, (laughs her ass off). How many people saw that one coming? Remember how in the club, Maggie had asked Allen if he'd seen Bird- which is Robin's nickname. Well~! That may have been why. (Grin)_

_And I did play with the idea of Devitto's crazy grin being familial, or at least a learned trait that they all probably picked up fro their fathers. (Smiles) I finds that crazy-ass Noah smiles kinda awesome, so after seeing Allen with it in the latest chapter, and being totally fulfilled that Kanda is a bad-ass, I had to make it so. (Grin) I love it, personally._

_But yeah, I really feel Kanda on this one. I'm apparently a terrible communicator... so~, here's my tribute to myself, and I proverbial kick in the ass. (Smirks) I hope you enjoyed, the family, Cross causing debt, Lenalee being awkward, A day at the Walker/Kanda home/appartment, and sexy-time. (Grin), I had fun writing it._

_All reviews are appreciated, and you other people should stop lurking. (Smiles)_  
><em>Thanks always,<em>  
><em>-Aseru<em>


	13. How We Will Go

_Heya's. I'm _soooooo_ sorry._

_There is an explanation, which I will give at the bottom, but I'll butter ya up with chapter first.  
>(Skeptical Face) At the bottom then...<em>

* * *

><p><em>"And I will make sure to keep my distance.<br>__Say "I love you" when you're not listening.  
><em>_How long can we keep this up, up, up?..."  
><em>"Distance" -Christina Perri

**XXX**

_**A-(Not So)-Sexual Man  
><strong>__Chapter the Tenth:  
><em>How We'll Go

* * *

><p>I remember when they died. I was fifteen. One morning they were there, and we said good-bye; and they never came back. I remember the funeral- barely. More so remember that Robin never cried. She sat for three days, in the window seat in our living room that was so quiet. I laid on the couch, just on the other side of the room, for the majority of those three days, in an out of consciousness.<p>

I remember that silence so well, and I'm sure it's what drove me half mad for those following months. But even more, I just remember staring at the grand piano that sat to the other side of the room, and in my head- those three days- it never stopped playing.

"_There is always music in your mind, even when the wind doesn't dare to make a sound."_

I remembering thinking my father was insane when he told me that- but during that time, I would watch Robin's head sway a bit, and I wondered if she could hear the same music I could. The same music that eventually made me stand, walk over to the piano and close the cover over the keys- shutting out the music. And when she met my eyes, I think we both knew it was time to move on.

* * *

><p><em>"And every demon wants his pound of flesh.<em>_  
><em>_But I like to keep some things to myself-__  
><em>_I like to keep my issues drawn.__  
><em>_It's always darkest before the dawn..."  
><em>"Shake It Out" -Florence + The Machine

* * *

><p>Chaoji Han was a baker. Allen Walker hadn't been impressed, even hid it well after being fed, and fed, and fed... And, "You know," Robin finally decided to tell him, "That you're still eating say a lot more than that scowl." And Allen glared at his sister and he took another cinnamon roll.<p>

"I don't like him," Allen tried to say. Kanda actually snorted, watching the roll disappear in second.

"But you like his cooking- baking, whatever," he added before Robin could correct him again, "So you'll learn to like him." Allen huffed, taking yet another roll, while Robin cast an amused smile at the dark-haired man when Kanda let his eyes roll again.

But in the family there was a lot more going on than just Chaoji and Robin's wedding. The twins returned home on the weekend following Allen and Tyki's return from Houston. Wisely had effectively boarded himself up, minus the few times Allen has stormed his apartment for one thing or another.

And by that particular Tuesday, as Wisely finally plopped into the chair in front of his desk, Allen wondered how much stress Lulu's demands had put on him. The manor, or the twins' reputation- Allen wouldn't have wanted to make the choice.

In Adam's will, the manor was left to, first- Wisely, second- the family. And obviously, in Wisely's mind, the manor- which most of the family hadn't even stepped foot into in years- meant less than risking the public respond badly to the twins' lifestyle.

The fiscal demands that Lulu had made where the real problem. And after a face-to-face verbal spar, Allen was pretty sure she wasn't moving on those. Though he was more than willing to have the woman kicked out of the house for being... a _bitch_. Cyril said he needed a bit more, Allen didn't really think it would be that hard.

"She's not blood," he had said, finding that the even tone of his voice didn't match how his insides were twitching with frustration, "And her marriage to Adam was never even finalized before the accident." But in reality, Adam's signature had been on the paper, Lulu's signed hours later, but still two hours before he'd been pronounced dead. By the clock, they had been legally married about thirty minutes by the time the plane had gone down- the church wedding a mere two days later.

And none of them could find a way around that.

The physical home that Wisely had grown up in his entire life, didn't seem to be his priority though. He'd been moved out for near three years now. The only things that kept Allen from just agreeing though, were far-faded memory. He would have had to have been no older than ten. But he could remember it perfectly, it was been shortly after the twins mother, Abigail, died. Because watching Wisely sit in the parlor with the older twin, he'd learned what it was to care about someone you had no obligation to.

It was also the last place that the entire family had crowded into one space in. And Allen had found, as he had dug through the attic of the old house, that there were some things that he knew they wouldn't be able to replace.

You can't move memories. You can't shove decade old feelings and family shared pains into an eleven by fourteen storage area to be sorted through later. Because Allen didn't want Lulu-fucking-Bell-Walker to blackmail Wisely out of the place that he'd grown up- the same place Allen had last been able to hug his mother or smile at his father. The last place they'd all been a real family.

"Why are you the one fighting this harder than him," Cyril asked, his voice low but still loud enough to make Allen's head snap up, and meet the concerned amber eyes staring back at him. It took him a second to remember where he was, even though the black, gray and gold lines of his office on the top floor of the Ark Records main building were for every reason his second home; complete with hideaway bathroom, and a spare change of clothes.

"Because I'm not the one being directly blackmailed with the people I love." Wisely didn't look from the floor, where he sat in the plush black chair next to the elder Kamelot. Cyril however let his face shift to a look that wanted him to continue. "We all have our reasons for wanting that place kept in our hands. I'm no exception."

"I figured that, Allen." But Allen couldn't tell if that was Cyril's way of conceding, because he was still being pinned with that scalpel-like look.

"Well, good morning family," Tyki called, suddenly bursting through the double doors. Wisely let out a near immediate huff, his head finally turning up to where the elder man was over-joyously trotting his way into the room.

Allen found himself following suit, and found his lips cracking a smile as he watched both Tyki and Lavi Bookman giving giant, much needed, chipper smiles and airs. The smaller, much older man between them even seemed amused with their antics, as Bookman senior followed his grandson into the room.

Lavi had grown into the family, Allen suddenly realized. Though he also realized right then, that he'd never even had a one-on-one talk with the red-head. Kanda, Tyki or Wisely had always been there with them. Suddenly he was watch alertly as the conversation began instantly between the two Bookmen's and Cyril. The three minds of Law and Literature meeting and discussing the happenings. Because it had been suggested and agreed on that a none family-owned lawyer should probably deal with this matter. A private, close- but still unassociated- third-party should decided that a family-matter was being lawfully handled. _Or, as much as it could be, with blackmail involved._ Lavi had even suggested his own grandfather after he and Cyril had agreed on it.

Lulu's mouth would be sewed shut with a piece of paper promising jail time if she tried to open it.

Allen was contemplating trying to make her after this was done.

Maggie was next to trickle into the room, Cross with her. Allen watched her round the room, giving him a smile as she had entered.

Robin wasn't far behind. She gave her own hello's, before quietly sitting herself in the chair at the corner of his desk. They gave no smiles, no greeting- this was one of the first times in recent history that they'd both been present for a family struggle.

It would also be the first that non-family was present, he realized, as Kanda slipped quietly into the room. There were only small acknowledgements for him as the facts slipped around the room. Allen didn't bother to listen as Maggie finally started to yell, choosing instead to watch as the outcasts gathered to his right. Kanda was verbally greeted by Robin and Allen listened to that. And again, as Lavi moved to take the seat next to Robin, while Kanda remained standing. The noise was reaching a near war volume; Cross and Maggie verses Cyril and Wisely- and then cobalt met ash and the small encouraging smile he got nearly made Allen's mind short-circuit.

"Hey," Jas suddenly interrupted from the door, and the room was instantly hushed. Allen noticed that Wisely had already sat back down, before he bothered to confirm that the twins and Rhode had arrived- complete with Jas and Rhode's fingers locked together.

"Sit down," Allen finally decided to speak. And he watched as everyone but Bookman Senior and Kanda moved to take seats in the most orderly fashion imaginable. And then even the elder Bookman plopped into the seat behind him, seeming startled with how much order the busy room was suddenly filled with. "Cyril," he started again, now knowing they were all paying attention, "Please, start at the beginning, one more time. And please, no interruptions." Cyril took a slow, deep breath- Allen watched as Wisely took to hiding as much as his face behind his hands as he could. And then they listened.

* * *

><p><em>"Have some composure!<em>_  
><em>_Where is your posture?__  
><em>_Oh, no, no!__  
><em>_You're pulling the trigger-__  
><em>_Pulling the trigger!__  
><em>_All wrong..."  
><em>"Time To Dance" -Panic! At The Disco

* * *

><p>He'd watched his family behave like this since he was born. They would bend to Neah's mere suggestion in the face of a crisis. His word was absolute after Noah had died. He had been raised to know the right answers, and he'd taught both his children those answers. And then he died. Robin fell apart- and with Noah's last son, Allen had been taught every trick he knew. Neah had played the music every day of their lives, Allen and Robin had listened hungrily. Now, even after he'd been dead years, they could play every phrase from memory.<p>

* * *

><p><em>"Cause she's just like the weather, can't hold her together.<em>_  
><em>_Born from dark water, daughter of the rain and snow.__  
><em>_Cause it's burning through the bloodline-__  
><em>_It's cutting down the family tree.__  
><em>_Growing in the landscape, darling, in between you and me..."  
><em>"Landscape" -Florence + The Machine

* * *

><p>"Wisely, darling, I didn't realize you were here." The son of the oldest Walker son cringed as he heard the<p>

sugary voice assault him.

"Oh, hey Lu," he made himself smile as he turned to look at the worst thing his father had given him.

Her smile was Barbie perfect, her eyes though were rigged with barbed wire. Her hair was salon bleached and her perfect tanned skin was paid for. Her boobs were fake and her ass was hairless, as far as Wisely was willing to guess; she was the kind of women that made him hate women. She paid for people to make her prettier than anything inside her.

"You didn't say you'd be stopping in- I would have asked Janet to make dinner."

Wisely had to laugh, "The manor's had the same cook for sixteen years, Lulu. Her name is Karen." They'd never gotten along; he had never tried. "I just had to grab something anyway." Her facial expression hadn't changed since she'd stopped speaking. "I'm leaving already."

Then he'd noticed that the barbed wire in her eyes was gleaming. Right before she pouted and gave him a solemn smile. "You've never liked me, have you Wisely."

He didn't lie. "You never gave me a reason too."

"I never gave the opposite, though."

"No. You didn't."

And then she reassessed, before the spikes turned to strike. "I told your father when we met, started to date; I don't like _kids_." He'd noted how she spat the word. "He said you were _independent_. Finny was already in college, the twins stuck to you."

She laughed, and for the first time in the conversation, Wisely felt something cringe in his gut.

"But, you know," she continued, "It didn't matter after I met you, 'cause you wouldn't talk to me anyway." She readjusted herself, centering her body more in the doorway of the study. She had him trapped, and Wisely was listening.

"Your father said I'd grow on you," she seemed glum about that idea. "Then he died."

She smiled at him then. It made his skin crawl.

"So, Mr. Walker, let's be frank, for once." She was serious. "We don't get along. We don't agree on anything. And, I don't want to see you, ever again." _Her smile was plastic._ "But that's hard when you come into my house, unannounced and unwanted." _Her hair was from a bottle._ "And then I remember, you father left you this place. But then you don't live here, do you?" _Her skin was burnt by bulbs._ "You don't see the staff, and you come and go at your leisure." _Her breasts were silicon. _"This place isn't your home." _She'd probably slept with the person who bleached her ass_ "But, it is my home." And at that moment, Wisely had hated her more that he'd ever hated anyone in his life.

"Not on your life." He'd almost gotten mad. But Lulu Bell-Walker, in her mind, knew how to pacify any beast.

"How's Devi been doing?" She was still smiling, as Wisely was suddenly swept away with a wave of nausea. "He doesn't come home as much as you."

"Leave him outta this," he found himself growling.

"No," was all she cared to say.

And Wisely had seen himself in her eyes, that barbed wire cutting him apart.

"What do you want?"

"My home, this place; it only legally yours. It's mine, and no one needs to know about the Walker brother's incest." He didn't try to defend himself, for the first time in his life; she wouldn't have cared to listen to the lineage. "Because I image it wouldn't go over well with the public, right?"

_He hadn't been able to speak._

"And of course, the finances to maintain it," she smiled, "Wouldn't want to see the house fall apart, right?"

_She knew that, though._

Her face was suddenly stone; her jaw set, eyes open, smile flat, posture of a statue. He could finally see her, under all the bought beauty. "I'm sure you'll see it my way soon enough."

And then she was gone from the doorway, but Wisely had seen her in that doorway, at the back of his mind for weeks. She called every other day; asking how he was, how Dev was, her voice always that sugary tone. She'd call again and again if he didn't answer. It was psychological torture, he knew that; _he's studied the art in college damnit_.

But he threats were real. He'd noticed there were people following him, following Dev. Not paparazzi, bad people; Lulu's people. And suddenly his options had seemed limited. He hadn't told Dev from the beginning- first mistake. He'd let her get in his head- second mistake. And it all just snow balled from there.

Sitting in Allen's office, the entire family in a stunned silence as Cyril told them all of this, Wisely knew that- he knew he'd let it get out of control. He could feel Dev staring at him, where he was nearly in a ball in the chair next to the elder Kamelot. But, then to now, what had he been able to do?

As Cyril finished, no one dared to speak. This was a family meeting, no one would- not until Allen allowed them to. That was just how their family worked.

"Alright," Allen himself spoke first, "There's the details." When Wisely finally looked up, his eyes immediately met that bright slate, that all at once were, calm, collected, supportive and in an utter rage. It'd been a long time since he'd seen Allen look like that, Wisely realized. But then he smiled, and for the first time in nearly a year, Adam's only son felt like there was finally a ray of light. "Now, here's how this is going to go."

* * *

><p><em>I Hate (this version, that I made) of Lulu Bell. (Blank face)<br>__Seriously, _Hate_._

_**[Apology, please hear me out]**  
>About six months ago, shortly after I started working, I found out I have nerve damage in both arms. It affects the outer three fingers on my hands. Too much use made them sensitive, and then eventually numb. Then, several hours after that, provided I stopped using them, they would wake up. Like, ya know when your foot falls asleep then you have to move to wake it up- that feeling, the tingling, would be slow and last for hours sometimes. It hurts.<br>So picture going to work at 2, I would get off at 10, which was usually when I would come home and write for you lovely people... but then they'd start hurting, and I couldn't even think straight.  
>So after a few delays, a lot of crying from my boss and co-workers, and a lot more stressing out, on the 26th of April, I finally got my right arm fixed. I am still in a full arm cast (as in, am typing one handed, laugh it up), but I can already feel more of those three fingers than I have been able to in about a year now.<br>Which also means, I'm starting to feel up to writing again. (Smiles)_

_And this story is up there with the top priorities._

_Sooo~! Please do pass along your hate and/or happiness, if it still exists. I imagine there will be some people who don't come back, but I still won't be able to work for another four or so weeks- so hopefully the next chapter will make it's way out too._

_Thanks for reading, 'cause I know I have some sucking up to do.  
>-Aseru<em>


End file.
